So Many Wonders, So Little Time
by QuestionSeeker
Summary: The tale of a youth as he finds himself in a strange and unusual world and his endeavors to return to the home and family he lost. However, despite his resistance against his new surroundings, he will soon learn to realize that this world has more to offer than he ever thought possible that will change not only his mind, but send him on a journey that will change his destiny.
1. The Day My Life Ended

_You never really know what speed life is gonna come at you until it starts knocking at your front door, unannounced and uninvited. Some days it will crawl to the slow and sluggish pace of the rat race, practically begging for something to happen. Other times, it moves faster than a comet shooting across the stars, almost overjoyed at the thought of a do-nothing day. For me, I think the latter would have accurately described my situation, if I knew what the hell my situation was! All I know is I'm waking up in a heart-shaped bed, I'm wearing nothing except a hidden blade gauntlet and a bridal veil, my head is spinning, a blue 1960's British police box is sitting in the corner of the room, a bottle of cheap champagne is slowly draining out onto the floor, a rabbit is near a doorway starring daggers at me, the place smelled like sweat, tears, and pheromones, but surprisingly, nothing shocked me more than the figure slowly stirring next to me._

_Normally I would be questioning why there was a random girl in my bed (as unlike a guy as it was) but this one just caused me to stare speechlessly as she slowly rose. Her skin was a creamy white as it was struck by the early rays of the sun, while her strawberry-pink hair shimmered at she drew it from her closed eyes. She brought her arms over her head and slowly started to lean back and stretch, drawing my eyes to her petite but healthy frame, and more particularly her...erm, great tracks of land. I was slowly admiring her smooth backside when I saw something that made me experience fear, extreme joy, confusion, and a strange sense of guilt for every beastiality participant, furry, and most especially, clopper, I have ever judged. Appearing on each side of her hips was a tattoo of three tiny pink-winged butterflies, and along her back were two large, feathery yellow appendages that shuddered a bit as they were being flapped. Of course, at this point I was only calling them tattoos for my own sake, knowing full well what they were really called. Having completed her quick exercise, she finally opened her eyes, confirming my suspicions the instant her deep, endless aqua-blue irises connected with my blood red ones. For a second she stared at me blankly, her eyes glossed over from sleep, but then they became frighteningly bright and cheerful to see me. Before I could do anything else, she quickly pulled me into an embrace as our bodies slowly pushed together. I tried moving, I tried talking, I tried whistling, coughing, dancing the Macarena, but my body just quit on me, unwilling to separate from the arms around my neck and large, soft bosom pressed against my chest. She then brought her lips to my ear and sweetly whispered almost inaudibly, "Good morning honey."_

_She pulled back slightly, just enough for me to see an extremely sultry and lust-filled smile as well as a crimson blush spread across her cheeks. And then she pulled me close and did something that I, a seventeen-year-old, drug-and-alcohol free virgin, who hasn't even as much as honestly held hands romantically with a girl, could never anticipate. Her lips connected with mine and she slowly proceeded to explore the inside of my mouth with her tongue, kissing me like there was no tomorrow. Needless to say that my eyes just bulged to the size of dinner plates while she closed hers in pleasure. Eventually, we disconnected, leaving a small strand of saliva connecting our tongues together. It was at that moment that I finally decided to pass out, both from shock and over-stimulation. As I slowly began to slip into unconsciousness, only one thought came to mind: I just cradled, kissed, and possibly had consummated with the humanized version of the mare of my dreams, and on top of it, we were apparently Married!? I always thought that ponies would be the death of me, ever since that first fateful day I was forced to watch the one show I would never think to watch willingly, I just didn't think it would be this way. Something was definitely wrong here. But I'm getting ahead of myself. My name is Ask, and this is my story of space-time travel, corrupt justice systems, life or death decisions, reality bending shenanigans, and a doomed love between me and the Equestrian I adored...  
_

* * *

Like I said, I was getting ahead of myself, so let me start back at the beginning. It all started like any other day for me: with an explosion.

As the smoke started to clear from the room, I began to pull myself off the floor with a groan, careful not to cut myself on the broken glass that now dotted my apartment floor. I carefully removed my copper lab goggles, leaving a single imprint of clean nutmeg skin around my eyes as the rest of my face was covered in soot and gunpowder. Now, you would think after repeatedly being hit by steam, slammed against walls by recoil, and dodging shrapnel I would be discouraged from going anywhere near my lab, right? Well, like my friends always say, "Never make a bet against Ask being me dangerously stupid."

No, I never lost my drive to experiment despite every failure my experiments brought. In fact, THIS explosion was actually the best thing that could have happened to me! I quickly jumped to my work bench, letting myself laugh hysterically as I grabbed my charred pencil from behind my ear and began to write out my results. "Better! No fire this time! Although, the smell is new... Ah, well! Now if I just increase the amount of potassium, this baby will be ready to- GAAHHHH!"

My thoughts were quickly scattered as a black Gucci boot connected with my face, leaving a rather unflattering imprint on my already singed skin. I quickly pulled the boot off my face to stare up at my attacker, her arms crossed and forehead throbbing with annoyance. "WHAT'S YOU'RE DEAL TRISHA?! I ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH COLLATERAL DAMAGE FOR ONE DAY!" I barked at my assailant.

"DON'T YOU START WITH ME ASK, I HAVE ENOUGH ON MY PLATE WITH MY DEADLINE WITHOUT ADDING ON YOU DESTROYING THE APARTMENT WITH YOUR HAIR-BRAINED TESTS! AND IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO GET HURT AGAIN, YOU WOULDN'T CONSIDER ANOTHER RUN OF THAT BLASTED MACHINE!" she shrieked back.

My ears started turning red as I turned my head away from her. "At least my machine is interesting, unlike your poor excuse for art you call mang-AHHHH!" I muttered as I found my ears being pulled in attempt rip them off.

Trisha cackled evilly as she saw me whine in pain, "I'm sorry Ask, what was that about my manga illustrations looking like they were drawn by a pea-brained four-year-old?"

"I didn't say anything like that! Let go already Trish, you know my ears are sensitive!" I pleaded.

"Fine," she reluctantly agreed, and proceeded to drop my head onto the ground with a loud and painful thud.

"Well," I groaned as she began to leave the lab, "at least she didn't sit on me again with her big bubble... flabby... butt...?" A tip for fellow techbugs, wait until after your stronger female flat-mate you can't fight back leaves _before_ making comments about her weight and sensitive areas, otherwise they will stare at you with murder in their eyes, and proceed to crack your spine with said weight and area. And now you see my almost daily ritual with my violent, hot-headed mangaka flat-mate, Trisha Kane.

* * *

"Faust help me, for I may one day kill this good-for-nothing prat!" Trisha exclaimed as she finally decided that my face had suffered enough of her butt for one day (no innuendo intended).

"Really? You're praying to a cartoonist now?" I asked with an annoyed expression and a brow cocked upwards as I tried to realign my vertebrae. "Trish, I know you like that show, as incomprehensible as it is, but do you have to make it painfully obvious?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about. I show my devotion as normally and subtly as anyone else," she said with her nose curled upwards and eyes closed.

"Really? Then explain the pony mug."

"It's just one cup and it doesn't stand out!"

"All the pony DVD's?"

"I want to be able to watch them whenever I want."

"All the plush dolls and figurines that fill up _my_ closet?"

"I like novelty toys to practice brushing hair on and cuddle up to sleep with?"

"The giant fan-painted portrait of the Fausticomb or whatever you shelled out four grand for?"

"Fausti_corn_! And it is pleasing to the eye and inspires my drawing!"

"...the Twilight Sparkle panties and Fluttershy bras?"

Have you ever been put into a seismic toss before? Let me tell you, it hurts like Tartarus!

* * *

"I...I... This may be the...the end for me s-Sarge..." I moaned with what little life I had left.

"No, no, no! We're supposed to make out of this alive together! We promised that we would make it out and prove that we could win despite the obvious signs of danger and countless warnings from absolute strangers!" cried my Sergeant in his high pitched voice through the tears. "Rrrrrrrrgh, on your feet soldier! No one is going down in my platoon, I made a promise to see my fellow comrades through our invasion, and I won't lose them!" he said with his small green webbed fist clenched as his eyes burned with determination.

"B-but you sacrificed Dororo to the enemy for Keronian junk food...," I said cracking his ego a smidge, "and you used Corporal Giroro as a human shield for when we passed through the Neroro bog...," his ego cracked a bit more, "and you kinda tricked Private Tamama to fend for himself by saying that it was vital to the mission that he act as bait for the enemy..." finally breaking his cool guy shell, leaving little more than the ghost of the once proud Sergeant Amphibian.

Suddenly, a dark, looming shadow with bright red eyes appeared behind us, extending two dark claws forward. The Sergeant, fearing for his life with tears in his eyes quickly said, "YAHHHHHH! Uh-uh-uh D-don't take me, take my simple private! He wasn't expected to survive the mission anyway!"

"What?!" I screamed as I was dragged away by my neck.

"Your sacrifice will forever be remembered private! The Keronians will sing ballads of you when we have conquered Pekopon!" Cried the Sergeant.

"Damn you! DAMN YOU KEROROOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!"

* * *

"Quit whining already, you know the rules, annoy me and you watch it with me, and quit talking to the stuffed frog!" Triaha explained as she threw me hog-tied into a sitting position on the couch.

"Betrayed by my own Sergeant, he gets a day in the hole of excruciating pain when I get back..." I muttered.

"Shut up about the frog, because now," Trish said, throwing dozens of stuffed plushies onto me, grabbing a bowl of cereal, and clicking the remote, "IT'S PONY-TIME!" she squeed as the My Little Pony opening credits started up.

That's right, I live with a pegasister, a violent pegasister, a violent pegasister that makes me watch the show buried in pony plush toys as torture. As you might have guessed, I'm not exactly a brony. In fact, I honestly hated the show. I didn't care what reason you gave me. I don't care about the animation, I don't care about the story, and I didn't care about the freaky personalities of the techni-candy color horses. Yes, horses. I adapted that as an insult because of the show! It's not that I am close minded about that type of media, I mean heck, I've done my own fair share of strange things. It's just, I find the whole thing pointless. There is nothing practical about it. My world doesn't work off of magic, people here don't fly, we don't burst into song at the drop of a hat, and the characters are so impractical in themselves.

A workaholic southern hick farmer who works a huge orchard by hand, a fashionista with a prissy accent and uptight and dramatic facade that willingly gives her designs away for free, a pretentious egotistical athlete who thinks about nothing but herself and her dreams to join a team that if she wanted to join so badly she could have done so by now, a crazy schizophrenic attention deficit party addict that gives me headaches by bending the laws of physics in her world and by the fact that she hasn't had strokes from the amount of sugar she consumes, a bookworm who claims to be seriously studying phenomena for a monarch that fails to understand the basic concepts of intimacy to the point of breaking down emotionally when she was tardy with an assignment and making a mockery of real science, and, I think worst of all, there's Fluttershy. Yes I know their names, heck, I know every character's name, Trisha made it a point that I knew. She just is the one that annoyed me to no end. She is completely tied down to the bare rustics of nature, she trusts wild animals more than regular people/ponies, she is afraid to fly which is her basic instinct as a Pegasus, she is afraid of dragons, she is afraid of slight sudden noises, she is afraid of any touch, she is afraid of her own shadow, she is afraid, she is afraid, she is afraid, She Is Afraid, She Is Afraid, SHE. IS. AFRAID! And her voice is just... well... I will admit that annoys me for... other reasons... but it still annoys me! Fluttershy is designed as a character who is extremely shy and fearful, which is in direct contrast to my personality. Fear stunts growth and exploration. Without the will to move past fear, we could never take the risks needed to advance our world. Ben Franklin would have never have strung up his kite to discover electricity, Penicillin wouldn't have been patented by Pasteur, Steve Jobs would have never created the Macintosh computer and other innovative devices (such as the iPhone I am using to record my entries). I live without fear, refusing to miss out on what the universe has to offer just because I choose not to take the risk, just like my hero, The Doctor.

Ah, the ancient time-traveling madman with a box, now he is someone worthy of Trisha's obsession. The sole-surviving time lord has travelled beyond the the greatest reaches of time and space and has seen all the glory and horror that life has to offer. He has fought carnivorous monsters, tangled with the great evils of history, rewritten the very foundries of humanity's future and past, experienced the joys and pains that come with relationships of romance and friendship, suffers the guilt of bringing death to a number of races (including his own), touched and changed so many lives just by his presence, and is able to cause armies to run in fear by the simple mention of his title, while his name, the name that can tear the very fabric of time and space if it is ever revealed, burns across reality, hidden within the stars themselves. The sad, brilliant, unsung hero, who has seen more than any man should ever see in a lifetime, continues to run, never looking back and never growing weary as his TARDIS takes him where he is needed in the universe. I know he is fictional, but I still am convinced of this: ideas are extremely powerful things that can make strange and magnificent things happen, and because of that, if millions of people believe and hold that somewhere out there across great deep space, someone is out there watching over us, offering only kindness despite the extensive pain and wonder they have lived, then that thought may one day be made a reality. And if there does exist such a wondrous person, I only wish that I could look into their eyes, the eyes that reflect eons of wonders and terrors, and be blinded by what they have to show me.

As fun as fantasizing a meeting with the Doctor was, I was still being punished. "Eyes forward! If you can't recite the episode line by line by the time it's over, I wring your neck," Trisha had exclaimed as she peeled my eyes back with her fingers and directed them towards our television. God, I hated this. The episode playing was the season 3 finale, "Magical Mystery Cure," and had just come to the scene where Twilight had just restored each of her friends cutie marks back to normal. Now, that is another thing I found stupid about the show. Why would you let a picture on your butt dictate your ultimate destiny in life? And once you got one, what if it was something useless or unpleasant like grass counting, paint watching, or worst of all... being a lawyer?! *shiver* Now that is not something to joke about.

But in any case, I had to watch on and slowly fill my brain with useless facts about a show I couldn't care less about. Another ten grueling minutes later, the episode finally finished as the newly crowned princess, Twilight Sparkle, flew from the balcony of Canterlot Castle cheering, "Yes! Everything's going to be just fine!"

"I hope so Twilight, I hope so," Trish said as she wiped a tear away from her green eyes.

"Gag me, even I recognize a jump the shark moment in a show. This thing is on its last knees," I sneered to the side. Before I knew it, my face was being smothered by a plush toy and I was gasping and clawing for air.

"You can breathe again if you can explain the two greatest fears the fandom has about Pinkie Pie," Trisha sang as she continued to suffocate me.

"*cough* Cupcakes and the mirror pool. The former is that Pinkie has the greatest potential out of the show's entire cast to become mentally deranged, as seen in 'Party of One,' only to the point of slaughtering her friends, heavily emphasized by the fanfic 'Cupcakes' by Sergeant Sprinkles wherein Pinkie guts Rainbow Dash's organs to bake them into cupcakes and then makes her corpse into a doll. The latter plays off the fear that in sending the clones that Pinkie Pie had created to spend more time with her friends back to the mirror pool in 'Too Many Pinkie Pies,' the Pinkie that had won the paint staring contest is actually a clone that had adapted enough will not to break during the contest, and that Twilight had sent the original Pinkie back to the mirror pool to be trapped there for all time, which is made even more tragic by the fan story element that the original sent back to the pool is fully aware and conscious of where she is and how she is trapped forever! Now let me breathe!" I sputtered through pained breathes.

Trisha finally let go of the doll, and I immediately ripped it off my face and gasped for air. I looked down and noticed it was a Fluttershy plush. Go figure, huh? "Now, for someone who hates this show, you sure know an _awful_ lot about it..." Trish jarred at me while wearing a mile wide grin.

"Yeah? Well who is the one who forces me to know this stuff?! Besides, just because I am forced to take in information, does not mean I won't have encyclopedic prowess on it!" I snarled over my shoulder at her. Yeah, yeah, call me a hypocrite all you want, but knowledge is power, and I believe that the only thing stronger than the knowledge itself, is how well you have it organized.

"Whatever, just get prepped for class already, I got illustrations to do." She then walked into her room and shut the door, all while humming the tune to "Morning in Ponyville."

"I swear, sometimes that girl just isn't right," I sighed as I rose from the couch and made my way to the bathroom.

Just as I was about to enter, I noticed I was still holding the assault Fluttershy Trisha had used on me. I stared at it with annoyance for a minute, but then I started to feel less tense as I had begun to stare at its felt blue eyes. It was actually oddly calming as I held _her_ in my hands. I was slowly bringing _her_ closer to me when I realized what I was doing, regained my annoyance, and threw _**it**_ across the room as it landed with a soft plop on Trisha's door head-first. Satisfied, I was about to enter the bathroom again when I felt a cold chill come down my spine. I began to sweat as I slowly turned around to see Trish cradling the plush I just threw as if it was her child, her eyes burning with rage.

"T-Tri-Trisha? Y-you ok-Kay?" I stammered for my life. She didn't say a word. For a second she bowed her head, and then, without warning, she lunged at me, teeth barred and hungry for blood. I could only scream, "AGHGHHGGGHHHGHHHHJJMHGYGFCDRFH UNUHBFZSEC3535)67)(5?!'u!" *cough* Sorry. That moment still scares me, even to today.

* * *

An hour later, I was walking down the street to my film productions class, with the addition of a fresh black eye and several minor bruises focused at my jaw. Trish had decided to be merciful and chose not to kill me, but as a penalty, I had to take her _precious _Fluttershy out to see the sights on my way. She had made it so that the plush's head stuck out of my carrier bag and was painfully visible, warranting several stares and murmurs from on-lookers that ranged from questioning why I was carrying a stuffed animal at my age, to jeers at my masculinity, to even some girls commenting on how _cute _I looked. Now, I could have just hidden the toy after leaving home, but Trish would know and I knew I would suffer more for it later than some public comments.

I suppose you are wondering by now why I choose to stay with Trisha if she continually pummels and tortures on a daily basis, right? Well first off, I know I make her out to be a monster, but she really is quite nice and tolerable for the most part, she's just under stress a lot of the time. A REAL lot of the time. Trish works as a mangaka to be able to pay her way through college and to gain experience to pursue her dream of starting her own manga company after she graduates, and because of this, she takes on a lot work and projects to prove herself. Along with this, she has to meet several deadlines that need to be met in order to keep her job and to keep up with bills often involves her working through the night. I sometimes even find her some mornings asleep on her keyboard, exhausted from her work. I swear she is gonna go blind one day if this keeps up. Another reason for her stress is something we all find a bit of a pain in: dating. Being who she is, Trish gets hit on by a lot of guys, most of which are sleaze balls and jerks. And honestly, I can't really blame them for being interested. Trisha is about five-foot seven with long black hair that touches down just above her backside. Normally I see it as a crow's nest at home, but when styled, it almost feels and looks like a soft, cool black silk curtain. It also really brings out her her bright emerald green eyes and her soft pink lips, and does help accent her other assets (which weren't half-bad themselves). Now before you misunderstand me, I'm just trying to help you see my point, I have no romantic feelings for her whatsoever. I just live with her due to... reasons. Besides, she's three years older than me, and I'm still a minor. In any case, that's all there is between us, a violent pony-obsessed college student and her crazy inventor freeloader (using the term lightly).

As I made my way down to class, I had decided to follow Trisha's instructions and show the plushie some of the sights around town. "Okay Butterfly Butt. Now here is the local town reservoir, collecting dirty rain water since 1901. Here is Altair Park, where little children run and frolic and attack the little woodland creatures you love. And this-"

"...is the town freak show proprietor, prancing around with his latest oddity, a butter yellow pony." I quickly turned around to meet a black-haired, blue-eyed curvaceous goddess grace my ears with a soft giggle and one of her signature smiles. My face immediately went fire-engine red.

"L-l-Lady K-Ko-Kotegawa! I...uh...I...*eeep*" Yui Kotegawa was the president of the morals committee at my school. She was a straight A student, highly athletic, well respected, knew how to have fun, and all of that was wrapped up in quite a nice package. She was the fantasy girl of every guy in town, and she had a number of followers. Yet despite all the potential Adonis's she could choose from, she had for some reason decided to court me of all people. Me. Crazy nerd who blows himself up every other day and had almost no future in inventing me. If you are getting a déjà vu or groaning moment for the situation imitating almost every romance within manga history, you aren't the only one.

"Ha, ha. Calm down Ask-kun. It's just me," she said as she moved forward and held my head in her hands, my ears were burning at this point. "and I keep telling you to stop addressing me as Lady Kotegawa, just call me Yui."

"B-but, I can't. A true gentleman should always treat a lady with respect and address her as such," I said with my eyes turned away, unable to look at her (if you say anything about Trisha, I'll throttle you).

"But Ask-kun-"

"I mean it," finally breaking from her grasp, "you deserve to be treated as such. A woman as gentle and kind as you deserves to have her every order followed and held with such high esteem," I said looking away while twirling my bushy hair.

"Hmm, every order?" she said as a smirk started to form on her face. I began to break out in a sweat as I slowly turned around. Kotegawa had taken a few steps back and had extended her hand forward, her eyes glowing with excitement. "Then, kneel before me, kiss my hand, and swear yourself to me forever." You would think that my face couldn't go any redder, but as Doctor Ian Malcolm had once said, life found a way, and I started to stutter as she waited. "Well? If you are a true gentleman, then you won't deny my request will you? It's... actually something I always dreamed would happen to me..." she said as she began to blush lightly, her eyes slowly filling with anticipation.

Now tell me, if a beautiful girl you cared about was asking you to fulfill one of her fantasies despite it going against everything in your nature, what would you do?

"Of course, if I was interrupting a moment between you and your pony friend, I understand if you wanted to get back to my competition for you."

Okay, that tore it.

I slowly swallowed and began to bend down towards the ground, my entire body shaking like I was experiencing my own personal earthquake. I slowly took her hand in my own, and began to crane my head towards it. "I... I... I swe-" Before I could finish, I suddenly lunged and pushed Kotegawa forward and out of the way of what appeared to be a long black stick, that turned out to be a long black katana! "Lady Kotegawa, are you alri-ahahahahahahahAHAHAHHAHAHAH!"

I looked down to see that my hand had landed on Kotegawa's chest, and she too began to blush and smile a bit as she realized. "Uhh, thank you for saving me Ask-kun. You really are my knight, huh?"

"Uh-y-yeah, p-protecting and s-ser-servingggggahhhhh!" Call in a colorist, because I think I just bore a new shade of red.

"ASK!" I quickly turned around to find a group of ten guys each brandishing a weapon, rifle, or blunt object, their eyes burning with blood-lust. "ASK! What are you doing to our goddess?!" I turned to stare at my questioner, the leader of the gang, Rito Yukki.

"It was an accident, I was trying to make sure the sword didn't hit her!"

"Blasphemy! We can't help it if she wants you, but we will not stand for you corrupting our white angel with your smut!" Rito was about six feet tall, had bright orange hair, brown eyes, and a surprisingly large build. If he hit you, you were going down hard, and I should know.

"Please just give me a chance to-"

"Lets get him brothers!" And with that Rito charged at me leading his pack of neanderthals with him. Without a minute to waste, I jumped off of Kotegawa, grabbed the sword that nearly took my head off, and began to run for town. Kotegawa was left high and dry, slowly getting up as she stared at me run off. She then turned her attention to her hand, the hand that I had almost used to seal my devotion to her. She sighed, saddened that she had lost her chance for her knight to claim her.

"One day, maybe one day..."

* * *

As I continued to run, I could only hope not to hit anything along my way, with Rito and his goons slowly gaining. I had decided that moving along the street wasn't getting me anywhere, so it was time to start shooting a little higher. I looked around quickly for my chance and was able to find a ladder being pulled down from a building. I quickly started making a beeline for it, praying to god that this would work. I quickly jumped onto the ladder, ran across the rungs used for stepping, and leaped to grab the bricks ejecting out of the side of the building. Looking back to see the team quickly catching up, I started to climb until I managed to reach the roof. Pulling myself over the awning, I look down at my pursuers, satisfied with my accomplishment... that is until Rito had started to scale the building.

I quickly turned around and began to run to other side of the roof, and when the moment was just right, I hopped onto the awning, jumped, and rolled my way onto the next roof. Rito had finally made it to my level, so I continued to run. Unfortunately, he was still faster than me. I continued to jump from roof to roof, with Rito only seconds behind. Worse yet, I was running out of roofs to escape to, and the only thing below was a fifty foot drop onto hard concrete. I chanced a glance and saw that Rito was only a few roofs away, just when I caught myself from running off the produce store roof. I was trapped, no way to escape or run, just pain. However, just when all seemed to be lost, I spotted a produce cart below that looked like it was just deep enough for me. Okay, for anyone who is hearing this story, when you are pushed to the edge of a roof and the only way to escape from being pummeled is to jump, I think that that is the time where you should accept your beating and live to get beaten another day.

Unfortunately, I suck at listening to my own advice.

"Okay, fifty-foot drop that could possibly seriously injure me if I miss my mark, or being beaten by a pack of jealous groupies. Which to choose? ...Okay," I began pulling out a coin, "heads jump, tails take the homicide." I flipped the coin into the air, but as it came back down I missed catching it, and it quickly fell into the produce pile. "...Works for me!" I then grit my teeth, said a little prayer, and then swan-dived from the building. I quickly pulled my body up and landed in the pile on my back, shattering the foundation of the cart but saving my hide. "Yes! My first leap of faith and I stick the landing!" I cheered with my fist in the air.

"My cabbages!" I quickly turned around to see the green grosser with a look of horror and anguish on his face and quickly noticed that the cart wasn't the only thing damaged by my fall. Several cabbages had been squished under me, with some leaves even sticking to my butt.

"Eh-he-he, sorry Mr. Ping," I stated with a sheepish smile. I was just about to pay for the damage when I saw that Rito's gang had caught up, prompting me to run as fast as I could from the area. Unfortunately the goons had managed to stomp over every other cabbage still intact at the stand's wreck.

"MY CABBAGESSSSSSSAAAAAHHHH!"

"SORRY MR. PING!" I screamed back.

"AHHHHHHH! COME BACK HERE YOU LAZY GOOD-FOR-NOTHING KID! I MEAN IT ASK! ASK!? ASK!" Well, there's another stand I can never come back to.

The chase was starting to take its toll on me, and I was starting to lose the will to keep going. Eventually, I had thought I could lose them down an alley, only to find to my horror that I had met a brick wall. I looked around for a path away, but it was too late. I quickly turned around to see the gang blocking my way out.

"Nowhere left to run Ask," Rito sneered at me while slowly cracking her knuckles.

"*sigh* It always come to this doesn't it Rito?" I asked.

"Eeyup, so now," he said looking to his posse and stepping forward, "I think it's time we get this over with."

"Do we really have to do this?" I pleaded while slowly closing my eyes and putting a hand to my sword.

"Face it Ask!" Rito said as he pulled out his own blade, "It's time for someone to get what's coming to him!" And with that he charged forward, as I took my stance and readied for what was coming.

* * *

"You were right Rito," I said as I leaned back on one of my foes, eliciting a groan while sheathing my sword, "it was time someone got what was coming to them."

"You see?" Rito said with a grin as he stepped on one of the thugs. "That wasn't so bad was it?" Scattered across the ground were what remained of the thugs Rito had led. Each had sustained a number of injuries, and a few had even been knocked unconscious.

"Yeah, yeah," I said as I had flipped over one of the thugs and searched his pockets, "I still say that I should have been the one to take on the disguise job."

"You could have, but then we wouldn't have a reason to get them all together, and you wouldn't have got to spend so much time with your ~_pure white goddess~."_ Rito sang as he held his hands together, staring at me with faux love-struck eyes.

"Shut up. Shut up forever. I still say that it was wrong to use Kotegawa as bait for the job, and you kinda caught us at a really bad time you know. Ah, found 'em!" I said as I pulled out two envelopes from the thug's pocket.

"Huh, looked to me like I was saving your sorry flank." Rito was in the process of pulling off his jacket to reveal a tape recorder and microphone taped to his chest.

"Flank, really? *sigh* You're just as bad as Trisha."

"Oh really? Says the guy with a Fluttershy plush in his bag." Rito had pulled the plush out of my bag and was in the process of placing the recorder, one of my envelopes and a few others into a box when he stopped for a moment, looked down at the plush, and smiled as he pulled it in for a bear hug.

"I only brought that along because Trisha had forced me to, so drop it. Now finish up already! I made the call ten minutes ago, and they'll be here any moment." I had grabbed my bag and had made my way to the fire escape on the side of the building, when I turned back to see Rito still hugging the stupid toy. "Ughhh! Come On!" I screamed as I grabbed Rito by his collar and pulled him up.

We both climbed up to the roof just in time to see the police pull up and find our little mess. "What the heck happened here?" one of the officers asked.

"No idea, but must have been a real- w-wait a sec! I know these guys!" another police officer exclaimed as he turned over one of the thugs. "I know all of these guys! They're the ones responsible for the Robinson break in two nights ago!"

"Again? But we couldn't book 'em then because of a lack of evidence, so why bother now?"

As if on cue, one of the rookies had found the box Rito had set up. "Sarge, get a load of this!" The Sergeant pulled out one of the letters Rito had set and quickly opened it up.

"_A token of support from a couple of humble Independents. Use it well_?"

The rookie then pulled out another one of the envelopes and his eyes immediately bugged out when he saw the contents. "B-boss! It's the missing order form for the opiate shipment last month! And this is the murderer reveal note lost during last week's case!"

One by one, the officers had pulled out piece by piece evidence that had been lost to law enforcers for years now. Shady drug orders, DNA tests, witness lists, territory maps, you name it and it was there. With this, criminals that had escaped punishment until now could finally be put behind bars where they belong, and the innocent who had been imprisoned in their place could return to their families.

"Well son of a gun, it's all here. Get this box down to headquarters and get these boys into squad cars! On the double! Make absolutely sure that these get there in one piece!" The second those words passed the Sarge's mouth, the box was immediately whisked away in a squad car and my pursuers were being slowly moved into squad cruisers.

"I still can't believe it Sarge. Everything that we found. And all from an anonymous tip? It's just unimaginable..."

"Your telling me. Did you know that my sister's husband was put in the big house for one of those cases? I can finally see Jacob free for the first time in two years. Sarah's going to do a Sonic Rainboom at this!"

What?

"Ha ha, I know, I think that I'm might even cheer at this!" The lieutenant then took in a large breath of air, and just when he seemed like he was going to shoot roofs off their hinges, he almost whispered, "Yay!"

No.

"Ha! Alright, alright, let's save it for tonight with our little girls. Did you know that Elicia is now riding a tricycle? I swear, she gets cuter everyday!" The Lieutenant said with proud dopey eyes through his glasses.

"See you after we finish processing the box. Brohoof?"

No no no.

"Nope. A moment like this requires something even more special."

"You don't mean..?"

"I do."

Oh please Celestia no! (Oh God, now I'm doing it!)

"Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake," the two began as they jumped in the air and covered their eyes and revealed them, "clap your hooves and do a little shake!" They finished by clapping their hands and shaking their butts high up in the air for all to see.

"Well, in any case, whoever those independent guys are, they deserve a medal for their work. Anyway, lets get to it Lieutenant."

"Mmhmm!" And with that, the two got in their cruiser and left.

As Rito started to look to his right, he saw that I wasn't taking what I just saw easily, as evidenced by my eyes becoming slits and my jaw almost reaching the roof floor. Yet despite all this, he couldn't help but laugh out with joy and hysteria at what he just saw and how his almost unbreakable best friend just lost his mind from a thirty second dance.

* * *

"Thirteen weeks," I said as we made our way down the street. "Thirteen weeks of plotting, surveillance, infiltration and implementation into the city underbelly to collect enough information to put away three-fourths of this city's crime syndicates, and I just handed the fruits of our labor over to a couple of loony bronies."

"And they will see that justice is served using it. Besides, you've got to admit that it wasn't the worst thing in the world."

"IT WAS COMPLETELY MIND-NUMBING! I HAVE NEVER FELT SO BROKEN THAN WHEN I SAW THAT DANCE, SO DISGUSTED, SO PRETURBED, SO...SO...you enjoyed every second of this little episode haven't you?" I dead-panned to Rito.

"Hohoho, completely!" Rito beamed at me. I could only help but sigh at this, slowly rubbing my temples to combat the oncoming headache. This is what I get for having a brony as a best friend. Yeah, best friend. The dude who was attempting to take my head off with a sword and posse is my best friend. That's the power of acting for you.

"Ehh, don't worry! The police got the box, and the Silver Serpents are being sent to jail as we speak. Mission accomplished," Rito claimed as he leaned against a wall.

"Well," I said as I pulled out the envelope I snagged as we came to our destination, "almost." I knocked on the door to the apartment that was before us and waited for someone to greet us. Not too long afterwards, I was greeted by a middle-aged blonde woman who looked like she hadn't slept for days. "Mrs. Robinson?" I asked.

"Ask, Rito, I'm sorry boys but, nows not a very good ti-"

"We know Mrs. Robinson, and that's why we're here," Rito said.

"I'm afraid I don't understand Rito..." Mrs. Robinson said.

"We believe this belongs to you."

I then offered her the envelope as she hesitantly took it and opened it, her image almost immediately brightening at the sight of what was inside. "B-boys?! This is- this is-!"

"All the money stolen from you, along with your credit cards, identification cards, social security numbers, and passports, along with your engagement ring and Dan's old watch. Looks like Annie and Fry will be able to stay with their friends here in Elenoir after all," I said with a humble smile.

"Plus, I don't think the Silver Serpents will be bothering you again anytime soon. Or any gangs in this district for that matter," Rito added. Mrs. Robinson was speechless, she just stood there, trying to form words as tears of happiness came to her eyes.

"Hey hey, come on little lady. We want to see you smile!" Rito said as he physically grabbed the sides of her face and stretched her mouth into a smile.

"Uh, yes, well," I irritatedly said as I pulled Rito off her, "we'll be on our way then. Have a good night Mrs. Robinson."

As we began to leave Mrs. R finally broke her daze and screamed after us, "BOYS!" We quickly turned around to see her on her knees, openly sobbing. "I c-can never r-repay you for this! No matter h-how much I w-work for it!"

She expected that we wanted something out of this, sad but understandable. No one really did anything for free these days. We both walked up and knelt down beside her. "Dana," I said as I lifted her head up, "listen to me. We didn't do anything. You got your stuff back, and that's the end of it. We are nobody. You don't know our names or who we are as a pair or as individuals. We don't want anything out of it. Now leave it."

"B-but I c-can't let this just go unpaid!" Dana was almost on the verge of breaking down at this point.

I stood up and began to walk away. "It's a simple transaction, I help get your stuff back, and I see thugs rot in jail for it. I didn't do this for you, I did it for me." And with that, I left for class.

Rito sighed and turned back to Mrs. Robinson. "Look Dana, don't mind him. He's just... got a few issues when it comes to letting people get close. He really is just happy to see that your situation is resolved. We never expect anything back, we just do the job because its the right thing to do. If you really want to pay us back, just pass on the goodwill onto someone else." Rito had got up and had decided to run after me. "Remember that Dana! It's the Independents' code! Stick to that and you can't go wrong!" he called back.

* * *

A few hours later, I was sitting on the edge of the Elenoir finance center's roof, overlooking the city as the sun had started to set. Feeling a bit sentimental, I looked down at my watch, and just stared as the the mix of colors reflected against the bezel.

"You know, it was said that god had made sunset as vibrant as it is to serve as a final gift each day so that people wouldn't mind the darkness and cold that the night offered."

I turned around to see Rito walk up to the edge and take a seat next to me.

"People only fear what they do not understand. Within the light, all is revealed, but within the dark, all is concealed and hence all is unknown and possible. Yet even within darkness, there always is light if one knows where to look," I countered as I looked upward, "and you got that quip from a Celestia fanfic."

"And yet despite that, I still get to enjoy a nice sunset." Rito replied with a smirk. A few moments passed in silence, until finally Rito turned to me with a serious look. "You know you could have been a bit easier on her."

"I choose to speak the truth, not lies like some fake code you created," I said as I leaned back and closed my eyes. "The Independents were formed under the principles that we fight to serve the light through the shadows, never revealed, never noticed. We hold no ties to anyone because we may endanger those we hold dear, we live for our brotherhood, not for others."

"And that was just the Assassins Creed adapted to your speech," Rito shot back.

"Yet it still accurately describes why the five of us formed the group in the first place. We choose to be alone so that others don't get hurt. And yet you decide to be a brony, someone who openly endorses the principles of friendship and companionship."

"Yeah, yeah. Says the guy who's a living MLP encyclopedia that you can actually physically reference," said Rito.

"I cannot be physically ref-"

"The three longest songs in the MLP:FIM series to date."

"In order of descending length, _Super Cider Squeezy 6000, A True True Friend, _and _Winter Wrap Up_." I said in a dead-pan trance. As I quickly shook it off, I saw Rito look at me with an eyebrow raised. "That proves nothing," I quickly said as I turned away.

"And need I remind you of your little pony companion?" I turned back to see him holding Fluttershy up to my face.

"Ah! Give her back already!" I said snatching Fluttershy back.

"Her?"

I really am digging myself into a hole, aren't I?

"I-I-it's been a long day and I have no desire to debate this," I said as I leaned back with the doll I my arms.

"You know, you could learn a thing or two from Fluttershy-"

"-and from the rest of the Mane 6 and the brony community."

My eyes finally shot open and turned around to see a little less than refreshing set of faces. "Well, nice to see you lot, too," I said.

Behind me were my trainers and teachers in the skills and abilities that made me who I am today: David (DJ) Johnson, Doctor Sonata Miyamoto, and Major Lea Fox. With Rito and myself, the five of us made up a small vigilante team that worked to help keep crime down in the city, the Independents. We didn't operate under any laws or by any government, only under the ideal that we are meant to help preserve a man's right to happiness, freedom, and prosperity.

"Watch your tongue Ask, or I won't hesitate to take it from you," Fox commanded.

"You really can learn something from them Ask," said Sonata with her ever pacifying smile. "The fandom has shown several instances of increasing a person's ability for compassion and intimacy, and the characters also serve to convey some very important life lessons as well."

"Right, and I suppose I should start dying my hair multiple colors and using crazy words like everypony in my speech as well?" I snarled.

"Ask." I quickly turned to the source of the thundering voice that called me. "You're letting your emotions get the better of you, clouding better judgement. There is value in what they are saying." I couldn't say much against DJ, the others yeah, but he was my fighting and spiritual guide, and all I could do was just turn away from them.

"I'll admit it myself, those ponies of Rito's are pretty cute, and that Rainbow Dash character shows some real spirit," Lea said. I couldn't believe this, a thirty-year-old ten-year war vet who was my parkour and weapons teacher had said that a pony had spirit?

"And I'm quite liking that Twilight Sparkle character, she truly has quite the potential to be a great leader," said Sonata. Okay, losing faith in my team here, now that my social and practical sciences mentor was talking crazy.

"Really? I admire Applejack most. Honest and hard-working, and I imagine as a human she has a pretty toned body from all that apple-bucking," Rito said dreamily. Did he just say that Applejack would look hot as a human?!

"That Pinkie character seems like she would be a hell of a party plus one, and a damn good partner in other fields." At that point, I was really losing it. DJ, the large, buff African Titan who was my totem of masculinity, had just said that he found a girly pony to be a good companion for parties and... okay, I'm not going there.

"And I must say, that Rarity character seems quite nice as a companion if you want class in its best form," Sonata added, but at this point I was just lying back waiting for them to stop talking, clutching my doll. "But I still hold that Fluttershy is the best fit for Ask, especially as a wife," my eyes popped open at Sonata's words, not even noticing as she rested her chest against mine, "or maybe," as she turned my head towards her, giving me a sexy smile, "~_a lover_~."

"Definitely, a knight for a fair maiden needing protecting," said Rito.

"She would definitely make a pretty top-quality girl and partner, especially in a human form," quipped Lea.

"Eeyup, made for each other," DJ thundered.

Alright, I had it.

"Okay, that's enough," I said as I removed Sonata and Fluttershy from me. "So, to talk about a topic not about a sick desire to spend _quality_ time with a pony, what do we do now about our world?"

"We wait," said DJ, "wait to serve as we are needed. Until then, we continue to oversee legal proceedings of the criminals and plan accordingly," said DJ.

"Great, well, might as well help preserve our home personas. I'm gonna go see if I can find Kotegawa and apologize for ditching her." I quickly collected my things and prepared to leave when an arm caught my shoulder, turning to see Rito.

"Listen, we're... sorry about getting you late to class today."

I sighed, "It's fine, just continued work on my project for the Up-and-Coming Young Artist Competition, and I've got a few months left. One day isn't going to kill me."

"Yeah... so... anything come up lately... about your name?" I stiffened at this, a chill running through my blood. I turned away slightly, unable to speak, but then I turned to my friends and brought them in for a hug, a small sad smile forced to rest their spirits. As I let go, I decided to leave at that point, not offering another word.

"Mmm, ponies or not, he really needs people like those girls."

"We know Sonata, but what can we do? All he's got is us, and he can just escape home at his choice."

"Can you really blame him though Lea? I mean, after all that has happened to him? I'm surprised he remains so calm."

Rito, Sonata, and Lea had all looked dejected, disappointed in their inability to help their partner.

"Hmm." The three looked to DJ, his eyes closed in thought, the wind spiraling around him. "Something tells me we won't have to wait long for a change to come..." raising their spirits a bit, "...but," he added quickly dashing them, "...we may very well lose him in the process," he said, opening his eyes to reveal two pools full of worry.

This was not good. DJ didn't just get sudden bad vibes, his instincts are so well honed that they are at the point of having the ability to offer premonitions. Rito eyes grew very small as Lea flinched and Sonata gasped. Without wasting any more time, they began to run to catch up to me, unaware that I was already too far to be found in time, and that I wouldn't be seeing them again for a long, long time.

* * *

As I made my way towards Kotegawa's apartment, I couldn't help but reflect on what my friends had said to me. About how that heinous show had something to offer me? That I could actually _learn_ something from it? And that I actually would make a good _MATE _for its nutzo characters?! Nonsense, nothing more than that. There is no way I am going to ever learn anything from that show that I didn't already know, and I most definitely am not going to be spending any time with the Mane 6 anytime soon, as humans, ponies, or any shape in between. Yet the thing that was really eating me was Rito's last question, about my name.

As some of you may or may not have guessed, my name isn't really Ask. Due to a series of unfortunate events too complicated to go into right now, I don't really know what my name truly is. I try and try, but I keep on coming up with nothing when I try to dig for it. I will admit, I liked my title right now, but that's all it was, a title. Without my name, I always felt that a part of me was missing, that I was never truly whole. Yet despite this, all I ever get when I think about my name is that one three letter word, ask. Eventually it stuck, and Ask became my new name. Now, why I couldn't just find my name from government, medical, or school records... well... that's a story for another time.

As I made my way down the street, I started to get bored. Thinking of a way to pass the time, I reached down into my bag and pulled out a small bronze, black, and white rod with a green bulb at the top. My sonic screwdriver: best thing in the world to toss around. It may not have any of the features like the real deal, but it definitely was a blast to twirl and toss it into the air, only to catch it smoothly in my outstretched hand as it fell to the ground. Just as I had turned a corner, I noticed that something felt... off about tonight, like the air was tense. Brushing it off, I continued to play with my sonic as night was quickly coming.

Eventually, I had reached the apartment complex, and was just about to climb the stairs when something caught my attention. On the side of the complex's garage was a large shadow that seemed to be _breathing_. It just continued to shake up and down in a pattern, but the light casting it remained still. What really put me off though is that its owner had to be pretty large, as the shadow was too big for any regular human. Worse yet, it looked like it was growing and stretching, particularly towards my direction.

"Huh," I said with a bit of worry, "I think I'll talk with Kotegawa tomorrow."

As I made my way back home, I looked back to see that the shadow hadn't stopped growing or stretching, and it actually picked up a few friends. I quickly turned my head and quickened my pace.

"Okay, that's not good."

Suddenly voices started to erupt all around me. Each belonged to a different person as far as I could tell, but they did share two commonalities: they all sounded terrified, and they were all begging for help. My pace quickened at this point to a light jog.

"Creepy voices, definitely not good."

I tried covering my ears to block out the sound, but the harder I tried, the louder they became.

"Okay, creepy voices inside my head, that is most definitely NOT good!"

I couldn't think anymore, the voices had grown to deafening screams and I couldn't concentrate on where I was going. I started to fall to my knees as I gripped my head, just begging for a way out. So many people, so many cries. I didn't care who, I just wanted someone, ANYONE, to end it. As I continued to struggle, the shadows were slowly closing in on me, their numbers significantly increased. But I just sat there, unable to move from the strain, not caring what came. However, just when all seemed lost, I felt two warm hands suddenly grip the sides of my face, and the voices finally stopped. It felt amazing to be free of them, almost like a huge weight had been lifted off my mind. I opened my eyes to see who had come to my aid, and was a little shocked by what met me.

In front of me was a girl, no older than I was from the looks of her, wearing a large brown coat over a dark-blue dinner jacket, navy-blue button-up shirt and dark-blue slacks. On her feet was a pair of red trainers, a red neck tie was visible on her chest, and sitting just barely visible outside of her coat were a black pair of reading glasses. She seemed like she would stand at about five-foot nine, had creamy white skin, a skinny but perky build, and long brown hair that seemed to flare a bit at the bangs. Her eyes were closed as she rested her hands on each side of my temples. As I lifted one of my hands to touch hers, she quickly grabbed it and her eyelids shot open, revealing a pair of dark brown eyes.

Before I could say another word, she drew in close to me and whispered quickly in my ear, "Look around you now." I did as she asked and saw that we were surrounded my dozens of shadows, each waiting for a chance it seemed to almost pounce off the pavement and towards us. "We are surrounded. You won't live without my help, and I won't live without yours," she said hoarsely, "so we're going to help each other. Follow my instructions very, Very carefully, and we will both survive this, understood?"

I quickly nodded my head in response. "Fantastic!" She pulled back and smiled at me. "Right, well, now that that's settled, your first and only instruction it to run straight that way," she said pointing at a wall in the distance, "snap your fingers as you approach the wall, and hit the switch. And don't fret, you'll know it when you see it," she said as I was about to interrupt, "just remember. Straight, Snap, Switch, and please do them quickly. Start when I say go." This was sounding crazy, but the shadows were getting closer and I didn't have any other options. I quickly readied myself to run for the wall, ready to escape the mad alley.

"Oh, sorry, so sorry. Forgot one more important thing." I quickly jerked my head in fear at her as time was running out. "Save. As in me. As in you have to carry me when I pass out so we both escape."

"What?!"

"And, GO!"

And with that she passed out in front of me. With no time to question what had just happened, I quickly scooped her into my arms and onto my back as I made my way to the wall. The shadows immediately sprang towards us, and were quickly gaining as we neared the wall. Praying once again that day, I held my breath as I thought, "This is crazy, This Is Crazy , THIS. IS. CRAZY!" and quickly snapped my fingers a foot away from the wall, bracing for impact.

Yet it never came. I stumbled instead into what looked like a control room, where a big yellow button was glowing on a console. Now, I know this may not sound too intelligent, but if I was in an emergency where hitting a button would save me, I suppose it would only make sense to have it be a great big dangerous glowing one so that anyone could notice it. As the shadows were a mere few yards away from the door, I slammed the button and hoped for the best. Suddenly, a bright yellow light shined on us and the opening to the room, and a dozen or so shrieks started to sound. Peering through my covered eyes, I saw that the light was directed towards the creatures, and the screams were coming from them as they began to disappear and the doorway shut closed.

I waited for a few moments to see if any had survived, but when I got no other sounds than my own breathing, I slumped back on the floor, relieved that things were normal. It was then that I noticed that the girl I carried had breathed rather loudly. Turning around, I saw that her breath was not only visible, but actually gold with a few particles in it. It circled the room a bit and then flew upward into a vent as it disappeared for who knows where. "Okay, relatively normal," I thought aloud with a dazed look at my savior and burden.

* * *

"Okay, I just got hunted by shadows, ran into a wall to end up God knows where, and I have a crazy girl on my hands that is passed out and is breathing golden vapor," I said as I analyzed my situation. "Okay!" I said grinning, "…I think I have to lay off the training for a while." And with that I collected my bag and made my way for the door.

"Girls, always gonna be the death of me. Girls I live with, girls I care for, girls I meet off the street, and even girls that are not human. Especially girls that aren't even human." As I made my way for the exit, I stopped and looked back at the girl that had helped me escape. She didn't look like she was getting up anytime soon but didn't seem like she would get into any trouble here, and Trisha would get upset if I was late. Yet, she did look pretty bad, and it didn't seem like anyone would be coming to help her here, wherever here is. Besides, what kind of a gentleman would I be if I left a lady in alone in such a vulnerable condition?

I made my way back to the control panel with the emergency button and leaned over the girl who saved me. I brought my ear to her mouth and listened closely, confirming that she was breathing normally. I examined her eyes and saw that they were moving rapidly, ensuring regular brain activity. I then started to remove her coat and jacket so her chest was readily available for me to examine. After taking a moment to grab my first-aid kit from my bag, I took out my stethoscope and placed the sound drum onto her chest and began to listen. I could get a beat, but something was off about what I heard. It was almost as if her heart was beating to a rhythm, like a pair of drums beating in sequence. This drew my eye to the other side of her chest. Knowledge of common anatomy and the basic ideas of common sense made me realize that this was impossible, but I always said to never deny the possibility of something just because it was improbable. I moved the drum just above the other side of her chest and was ready to listen in. However, just before I was about to place it down, I started to really notice just where I ended up.

Around me was a rounded domed wall that had several circular panels positioned in a systematic pattern, with a white doorway with an illuminated sign just above it. There were some words printed there, but I couldn't make them out from my position. I then noticed the control panel a bit more as well. In the center of the room was a large glass tube with a glass structure oscillating up and down within it, illuminated by a green light. Surrounding this was a circular panel with the most bizarre array of switches and knobs that I have ever seen. There switches and buttons, knobs and levers, rotating gears and twisting gyros, blinking lights and flashing signs, and… a mallet? I then noticed something particularly interesting.

Protruding just at the base of the panel was a bronze handle that was attached to a hatch that looked like it hadn't been opened for quite some time. It looked harmless enough, so I decided that I would take a peek inside. I tried the handle, only for it to not budge an inch. I tried it again and again using a number of different methods. I tried both hands, using my feet, using the mallet, and even tried prying it with my teeth. When I finally had enough of trying things that would make sense, I tried the only thing that I could think of. Digging inside of my bag, I pulled out my sonic screwdriver and eyed it with suspicion.

"There is no way that this is going to work," I muttered as I eyed the hatch.

What was it with this one drawer that made me obsess about getting it open? Ii just seemed like any other drawer, but I just couldn't shake the feeling that something inside was calling to me. I brought my sonic over to the hatch and gave its on button a firm push, allowing it to cover the patch with a soft emerald green glow as it buzzed. At first nothing happened, as expected, but then miraculously, the hatch began to creak and move. My eyes bulged as I waited for it to fully open, but I soon found that I didn't have to wait as long as I thought.

Without warning, the hatch launched itself fully open and a blinding white light started to fill the room. My hair started to stand on end as I stared into the light, and I began to see things zoom past my mind. A beast in a dark and looming castle, a pink-haired girl crying out for help as large men dragged her away, a butler coming at me with dinner knives barred like daggers, a young man with metal limbs falling from the sky like a meteorite, a skinny man with brown hair pointing a silver pen-shaped object as a blue light resonated from it, a professor with a brown top hat pointing an accusing finger at a shadow, a group of people cowering in the corner of a sound booth, these were only a few of the sights that burned into my brain.

I quickly pointed my sonic at the hatch and engaged the switch again. Unfortunately, the hatch didn't close as gracefully as it opened. I was hurled back against a wall as the hatch shut violently with a small explosion, the light quickly dissipating. The good thing about experimenting with explosives, you get used to recoil, the bad thing, it doesn't prepare you for collateral damage. I looked down to see that my watch had broken into two. The face and glass hadn't suffered any scratches and the mechanics were intact, but the battery and the main gears were blown to bits. On top of that, I lost my sonic when I hit the wall.

As I looked around for it, I didn't notice when a small fragment of the light had moved its way to the watch and dug into the mechanics. After a few seconds, the light dissipated, and left behind was a shimmering blue gear. After searching under the control console, I had finally given up trying to find my trinket, and resigned myself to it being lost. However, just as I was turning my head, I heard a faint buzz. Quickly locating the source, I saw that sticking just outside an opening on the console was my sonic screwdriver, or at least what I thought was my sonic screwdriver. Quickly pulling it out, I noticed something was off about it. It still looked the same, but its surface seemed to shimmer and feel cool to the touch, while the colors appeared to be more metallic. I quickly placed it back into my bag, fearing losing it again, and then decided to check up on my patient again. She was still unconscious, but was stable.

"Now how does anybody sleep through something like that? Not that I have any room to complain…" I muttered as I stared at the girl. Getting annoyed at just identifying her as a girl, I decided to try and find some identification to finally get some answers on just who she was. I picked up the coat she was wearing and started to search its pockets. I found the glasses again, along with what appeared to be a fob watch with strange markings on it. I couldn't use either of them, so I quickly replaced them as I continued to search. I then found a folded blue card holder that seemed to hold the answers I sought. As I opened it, I was sadly met with a blank sheet of paper. While I stared at it, hoping that something would show up if I waited long enough, the girl once again exhaled a cloud of gold dust, except this time, instead of passing through the vents in the room, it had flown towards the mechanics of my watch, burrowing deep inside and starting to solidify. "Well, that's disappointing," I said as I closed the holder just as the light had finally quelled and left behind was a bright gold gear.

I dug a little deeper into the coat and eventually felt what seemed to be a wrist band hit my fingertips. I pulled up the object and found it to be a large brown band with a computer display attached to its topside. I tried turning it on, but I just continued to stare at a blank screen. "Hmm, time to see what's going on in here." I carefully removed the top of the display and started to examine the internal structure. The tech on this thing was beyond anything I had ever seen before, but it was easy to see that it wasn't going to start working anytime soon, not with all the parts that it looked like it was missing. Yet one thing managed to catch my eye about it. Lying inside was a silver checkered watch battery at the heart of the mechanics. It looked like just the thing that would be able to help me repair my watch! I know that stealing is wrong, but that watch holds a lot of meaning to me, and it didn't look like the owner of the device really cared for hers, given how damaged the mechanics were and how tattered the leather was. I looked back to see if the girl was still unconscious, and to my luck she was. "Well, I do believe it's time...," I said as I pulled on my goggles and started to brandish my picking knives and mini screwdrivers, my eyes glossing over in anticipation, "...to perform a little heart transplant!"

I began to remove the battery from the band by carefully prying it with my knives. After a few seconds, it finally popped out and fell into my hand. Strangely, it had a faint blue glow around it as it hit my palm. Paying no mind, I quickly brought over my watch to see if I could scrap anything else from the band. It was then that I noticed that two of the most vital gears that I would need for my repairs were miraculously replaced by the blue and gold ones. Content with the fact that I didn't have to replace them, I continued to scrap the remaining necessary parts from the band. After several minutes of work, everything was in place, and all was left to do do was seal the casing with the battery. I carefully inserted the battery and after inserting the final screw, I stepped back to admire my work. My silver body, black strap watch was back to its former glory and ready to be used once again. As I secured it to my wrist, I noticed that the hands that normally glowed green in the dark were now a dark blue, but paid no mind to it. I also noticed that the time was wrong given the period it spent without a power source. I quickly pulled the knob that would allow me to change the time, and started to rotate the hands to the proper time.

Now, this is the point where I really start to think about my choices, and consider that this is the one time that if I had payed just a little more attention to the signs around me, things would have played out a whole lot differently. Maybe I should have considered my surroundings a little more and I would've realized where I was, maybe I should've paid more attention when my clock hands turned blue, maybe I should've paid more attention when two gears mysteriously entered into my watch, maybe I should've been a little bit more aware when wind started to wrap itself around my body and my entire figure started to glow a faint blue, and maybe, just maybe, I should've been a little bit concerned when the eyes of the girl laying beside me shot open and immediately stared at me with horror. But it was all in the past, and boy was my future going to be interesting.

"Don't touch that!" she screamed as she lurched at me. As she collided into me, my hand had slammed into the adjustment knob and it closed with a snap, the hands starting to move again. For a split second, everything seemed fine. And then that second ended.

I was suddenly launched forward, my eyes tearing up behind my googles due to my speed. Dark clouds formed around me, lightning blasts just barely singeing me. After what seemed like hours, one of the bolts finally made contact. For a moment, everything grew bright, my body feeling weightless, almost fearing I was sent straight to the next world. But then I finally made contact with hard earth, rolling uncontrollably as I continued to move. Eventually, I had hit my back hard against a jutting structure. For a second, I was able to see again, just noticing blurs of hot pink, purple, yellow, rainbow, dark purple, and a soft rose as I struggled to get up. Struggle as I try, I hadn't been used to pain like this, and fell to the ground as everything grew dark.

* * *

Eventually, I had finally regained consciousness as I began to stir. I tried to stand, but I was still feeling a bit weak.

"... do ya' think he is Twi'?" I heard a particularly southern voice nearby.

"I'm not alone," I thought. I turned my head towards the noise I heard, and attempted to open my eyes. My vision still seemed blurred, and it didn't seem like it was changing despite my attempts to blink it back to normal.

"I don't know AJ, but he doesn't seem like he is in too good of shape." Wait, AJ? Twi'? I started to move my head faster and was finally able to locate the source of the conservation. It was still pretty blurry, but I was able to make out two female figures, one with purple hair with a pink streak, the other with blonde hair drawn into a ponytail topped with a brown stetson. I guess Trisha had left the TV on and was sleep conditioning me to love ponies, and now I was even dreaming about them.

"Are you kidding!? He just blasted into the throne room! For all we know he could be here to hurt the princesses!" said a rainbow-haired figure that flourished what looked like... cyan wings?! And did she just say he?! Okay, I was getting very scarred now. I then took a second take at the purple haired one, and noticed that she had two folded down lavender wings, and it looked like there was a just as lavender structure jutting from her forehead. Please, someone, wake me up now.

"Uhh, girls..."

"Rainbow, darling, you really should calm down, you'll get wrinkles," a curly purple-haired figure said with a white structure jutting from her head. "And besides, the only thing harmful I can see about him is his attire. I mean, honestly, those loafers do NOT go at all with his black cargos and white v-neck." I don't like this dream anymore. Please someone save me.

"Uhh, girls."

"Yeah! Besides, he's new and looks pretty fun! I mean, he just flew right into the room out nowhere! Which is pretty amazing because he doesn't have a horn or wings or anything! And he's got that funny looking bag, who knows, he might have brought everypony presents! That would so super-duper-looper nice of him! Ohh! Maybe he brought cake or muffins or pair of slacks or a can of shellac or a new little puppy that needs a snack or..." a hot pink-haired blur had said as she bounced in place. Everypony!? Fear started to grip me as I scrambled enough energy to stand.

"Girls!"

The girls turned their heads toward a smaller girl that had a pair of yellow wings and a rose-colored hair. "What Fluttershy?" they all screamed. And with that, I went into panic mode.

I jumped to my feet as I backed away from the girls as far as I could, falling over a few things in the process. When I felt myself hit something that wouldn't give way, I quickly turned back to see five of the girls quickly converge on me. "Stay back!" I said as I grabbed the nearest object I could find. "I warn you! I'm armed!" For some reason, the hot pink one started to laugh hysterically at my comment.

"Please, just calm down. We aren't going to hurt you," said the dark purple one.

"Pfft, yeah, unless you give us a reason creep!" shrieked the rainbow one.

"Just keep you're distance horse girl and you won't have any trouble from me."

"Wait, horse girl?" she questioned.

"Yeah. What you are, a horse," I said with a cocked brow.

"Uhh, sugarcube? You migh' want teh to clean those fancy glasses o' yours," said the blonde girl.

"Fancy glasses?" I lifted my hand up to my face and felt that I still had my goggles on. I pulled them off and gave them a good cleaning, finally making visibility possible again. As I placed them into my bag, I looked back to the girls, and my eyes bulged at what I saw.

In front of me were five girls that looked like they were in their early twenties or late teens. Each had the hair I had described along with quite a few extra details. The blonde girl was about five foot-seven with emerald green eyes, freckles, and a pretty toned yet curvy body. She was wearing blue work jeans, an orange plaid shirt, brown leather boots, and a large brown Stetson as she eyes me with a hint of worry. The purple haired one was a good five-seven and wore a long white sundress that hugged her quite closely and accented several of her assets, including her deep blue eyes that had a bit of periwinkle shadow around them. The hot-pink haired one was a good five-eight with light blue eyes and wore a bright pink skirt along with a white shirt and blue jacket, all decked out in what looked like different pieces of candy. The rainbow haired one was wearing a white sports t-shirt, rainbow leg warmers and a pair of black workout shorts that made her look pretty streamlined and built. She was still giving me an accusing look with her magenta eyes squinting at me, although she was a little less intimidating given she only stood at five feet, four inches. Next to her was the dark-purple haired girl who stood at five-foot seven. She was wearing a white plaid button-up shirt and lavender bow tie, all covered by a dark-purple vest. She also wore a black ankle length skirt and just continued to stare at me with her lavender eyes.

Five girls, all with beige skin, all staring at me with mixed emotions, and all of them relatively _Human_. "You're... you're not ponies!" I blurted out dumb-founded.

"Well of course not silly-billy!" said the pink one as she came up and ruffled my hair. I panicked at her touch and backed away, hitting the object again that was surprisingly soft.

"Please sir, we won't hurt you," said the dark purple haired girl, "we just want some answers, and I'm sure you have some questions as well. So if you could just put down the armor piece, maybe we could-"

"Armor piece?" I questioned. I looked down at my defense weapon and saw that it was an arm piece to an armor suit. "Ohhh, armed!" I said with realization. My face then contorted as I stared at the pink-haired girl with an annoyed expression. "Pinkie Pie, that was an awful joke to laugh at, even if I intended it or not."

"Ha ha, I can't help it! Even if the joke was a bit lame, the delivery was priceless!" she beamed at me. I could only sigh in frustration as she continued to laugh.

"Hold it! How did you know her name is Pinkie Pie?" inquired the rainbow-haired girl. I began to sweat a bit and had to consider my options. Either I try to tell them the truth, or I could just come up with some excuse.

"You guys wouldn't believe me if I told you," I responded.

"Oh? Try us. You'll find that we are pretty open-minded," said the girl with dark-purple hair. I considered her words, and it did make sense given her world.

"Okay, if you say so," I shrugged as I took in a large breath, "I come from an alternate universe where your lives and adventures are presented in a cartoon show designed for little girls. However, due to the high quality of the show, it was eventually picked up by a large male and female adult audience who call themselves bronies. One brony, my roommate, had forced me to watch this show against my will and is why I know who you are and quite a bit about you. But a little while ago, a strange event occurred where my life was in danger, only to be saved by a mysterious girl who brought me to a crazy room that appeared as I ran towards a wall. While inside, I repaired my watch that you see here," I said while holding up my wrist, "with some of the strange do-dads that were lying around. Before I knew it, I was being thrown through a strange vortex at super-sonic speed that eventually launched me at the ground and made me hit a structure so hard I passed out. Next thing I know, I'm waking up to hear the characters of the show I hate talking as if they were referring to me, and I think you saw what happened next," I finished, panting for air. "Oh, and the show portrays you all as ponies," I quickly added. For a second, they seemed stunned, almost making me fear that I may have broken them. But that was quickly forgotten as they all burst into a terrible fit of laughter.

"Hahaha, a show with us as ponies?! Pfft, yeah right!" the rainbow-haired one hollered. "That was a good one kid! You're okay in my book!" she said while hitting my shoulder a little bit too hard.

"Quite, I mean really Darling, the thought of it is just too hysterical!" said the purple-haired one.

"I will admit, you had me going for a while, but it just doesn't make any sense!" the dark purple-haired one said while giggling.

"You're telling me..." I muttered.

"Yeah, but it was still pretty funny! You just keep coming out with zingers like that, and we're gonna be the best of friends in no time!" Pinkie said as she jumped up and hugged me, causing me to cringe.

"Ahright Pinkie, that's enuf. Poor boy looks like he migh' suffocate," the blond one said as she pulled Pinkie off me. "Now tell us sugarcube, how do you know us? And no fibs this time," she said as she rested an arm around my shoulder and gave me a warm smile.

"Well, time for plan B," I thought. "Ha ha, come on, who wouldn't know the Elements of Harmony, the heroes of Equestria who saved us from Nightmare Moon, rehabilitated Discord, planned and helped save the Canterlot wedding, and helped save the Crystal Empire from King Sombra?" I asked as I grinned nervously.

"There, now that wasn' so hard now was it?" the blonde girl said as she hugged me tightly, a little too tightly for someone who just met me. "By the way, how come we haven' seen you 'round before?"

"Uhh, yeah," I said pushing her off and leaving her with a cocked brow, "I just kinda came here from... Manehattan?" I said almost as a question.

"Well that makes sense," said Pinkie with a grin, "but you don't really have the accent do you?"

"So the names are the same here..." I thought. "Y-yeah. Never was much of a city guy," I said in return.

"Well, you happen to have a name?"

"Uhh, yeah. Ask."

"I did. What's yer name?" questioned the blonde-haired girl.

"Ask."

"Darling, is your hearing alright? She already asked you your name," said the purple-haired girl.

"I know, and I said Ask," I said getting a little irritated.

"Girls..." said a voice from a corner.

"We are! What is your name?" asked rainbow-hair.

"I keep telling you, Ask."

"Girls," said the voice a little louder.

"But we are, we are, WE ARE! WHAT IS YOUR NAME?!" screamed Pinkie as she grabbed my face.

"Ask, Ask, ASK!"

"Girls!" We all turned to see the dark-purple haired girl stare at each of us. "I think he is trying to say that his name is Ask." After a few seconds of staring at each other, the girls all let out a long "Ohhhhhhhhhh."

I couldn't help but slap my face in response. "Thank you Miss Sparkle," I said to the humanoid Alicorn.

"Well, now how about we properly interduce ourselves to you Asky?" said the blonde girl.

"Asky?" I asked with a cocked brow.

"Eeyup, seems to fit you pretty well," she smiled.

"Uhh, sure," I said with a forced grin. With that, the five of them lined up in front of me.

The first to come up was the blonde girl. "Mah name's Applejack," she said while taking my hand and shaking it violently, "I'm the element of honesty and work at Sweet Apple Acres farm down in Ponehville. If yer ever in town, stop on by and we'll be happy to set you up with all the apples you need!"

After I got my arm to stop shaking, I quickly turned to her and replied, "Much obliged Miss Applejack, and I'll be sure to hold you to that offer."

As she walked off with a smile, the pink-haired girl came up and jumped into my arms bridal style. "Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, element of laughter! But you already knew that silly! I work down at Sugarcube Corner as a baker for the Cakes! I make cakes and pies and muffins and cupcakes and pastries! It's really REALLY fun and I love it! But what I really love to do is making everypony smile! And whenever I meet somepony new I help make them feel extra-super welcome by- *gasp*! I gotta go! I'll see you again soon and it was great meeting you!" Pinkie said as she jumped from my arms and left out the door.

The rainbow-haired one came up next and grinned sheepishly at me. "Uhh, sorry. You'll have to get used to that, that's just-"

"Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie? No worries, I get it. (Although I don't plan on getting used to it_.)_" I said with a reassuring grin to her slightly shocked face.

"Huh, you are pretty cool huh? Well, sorry to say you'll only ever be the second coolest person whenever I'm around!" she said as she hovered in the air with her wings, a wide grin on her mug.

"Of course, who could ever compete with the awesomeness that is the element of loyalty and Equestria's top flyer, Rainbow Dash?" I jeered sarcastically.

"Exactly," she said not getting my comment at all, "but if you're ever in the mood to try and race the best, come and talk to me," she said as she floated away.

"Yeah, I'd love to see your face when I knock you down a peg," I thought.

"You'll have to excuse Rainbow," said the purple-haired girl, "she and humility aren't quite acquainted. In any case, I am Rarity, element of generosity. I am the proprietor of Carousel Boutique in Ponyville, maker of fine suits and dresses. If you are ever in need of wardrobe, I am just the person to call on," she said sweetly in a British accent, extending her hand forward.

"Hmm, I shouldn't, but I can't pass up an opportunity like this," I thought deviously. I quickly took her hand into mine and stooped down to my knee. "Echante Lady Rarity. It's an honor and a pleasure to make acquaintance," I said as I softly kissed her hand.

This caused the girls to gasp in surprise and for Rarity to blush slightly as a rather impressed smile crossed her face. "My my, a gentlecolt. It's good to see that chivalry isn't lost to the world."

"Of course, it is the duty of every gentle-_colt_ (ughh) to treat a lady with the respect and admiration suitable to her stature. And I like to think that the art isn't lost, just that it requires a bit more demand," I said with a small smile.

"And just who was able to teach you be such a gentlecolt good sir?" Rarity asked with her eyes glowing.

"Professor Hershel Layton of Greenwich University and Sebastian Michealis, butler to the Phantomhive family," I said with a grin.

"Well mousier, with your permission, might I ask for a bit of ~enchantment~ with that chivalry?" she asked with half-closed eyes staring into my own.

I thought for a moment about her request and when I had collected my thoughts, I drew back a bit of her hair that was covering her ear and brought my mouth just beside it, and whispered as sweetly as I could, "J'ai cherché longtemps et durement pour découvrir les merveilles et les trésors que le monde a à offrir. Pourtant lorsque les terres portaient loin et ma prime tourné à la pour poussière, ce qui restait était mon plus cher Trésor qui pourrait jamais être égalée en valeur ou spectacle: mon amour pour toi qui allait durer mille vies, le plus grand trésor du monde pourrait ne jamais réclamer." I pulled back to find Rarity's mouth agape, her face extremely red after my little speech. "I hope that I have provided enough enchantment for you Lady Rarity," I said with a sly grin.

"...marry me."

"Sorry?"

"Uh! N-nothing! Just, consider yourself always welcome at Carousel Boutique," she said as she ran away flustered.

Finally, Twilight came up and stared at me with a raised brow. "What did you say to her?"

"I have absolutely no idea," I dead-panned to her.

She laughed at my comment with glee, surprised at my demeanor. "Well, as you apparently know, I'm Twilight Sparkle, the element of magic, prized pupil of Princess Celestia, and Equestria's newest princess," she said proudly as she flourished her wings.

"Oh really," I said, "princess of what?"

She suddenly stared at me blankly, her face growing red. "Well," she said as she started rubbing the back of her head, "I haven't been assigned my own territory or celestial body, so for now, I'm just the princess of Golden Oaks Library in Ponyville."

"Well that figures," I thought to myself. "Hey don't worry about it. I'm sure they're building book forts in your honor all over Equestria as we speak."

"Oooh! Do you think so?" Twilight said as she grabbed my hands and looked at me with excited eyes.

"Uhh, of course Miss Sparkle..." I said uneasily.

She then made this type of squeeing sound as she began to jump around me shouting, "Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!" over and over again. I then backed up again and fell onto the soft obstacle. "Seriously, what do I keep falling on? It's pretty comfy..."

"Mmm, I suppose I can answer that."

As I felt two arms wrap around me I began to quickly panic. "Miss Sparkle, who is holding me right now?!"

"Aww, you've been all over me today and you don't even know my name?" She turned me around and I came face to face with a rather tall woman wearing a regal white gown with several golden accents. She had a rather large bust that reached just up to my neck, while she looked at me with a striking pair of lavender eyes. Her hair was a rainbow pattern that seemed to move on its own, and resting just at the base of her head was a gold crown with an amethyst gem at its center. Completing her look was a long white horn coming from her forehead and a large pair of wings of the same color outstretched for all to see.

"C-Celestia?" I asked my current captor.

At my response, the girls gasped at me failing to address her as a princess, and Celestia raised an eyebrow. "Well," she said staring into my eyes closely, "you do realize who I am, correct?"

"One of the two current monarchs of Equestria for over a millennium and the harbinger of the sun, Celestia, Yes I do know who you are," I said staring back.

"And despite this, you do not address me as _princess_?" she said with squinted eyes and a frown.

"Sorry, but I find titles rather pointless. It causes people to ignore the person and only focus on the power the title entails. You may raise the sun and are a good person, but as fantastic as that is that is all you are to me. I have no grounds to offer anything else to you as of yet," I responded glaring just as strongly back.

"And you realize that the _comfy_ spot you've been hitting is my chest, correct?"

"What can I say? Honesty is the best policy." The girls continued to stare, flabbergasted at my tenacity. We all stayed silent for a few moments, until finally Celestia spoke.

"You're really not from around here are you?"

"You have no idea."

"So... "

"So?"

"...how comfy is it?" she said with a sly smile.

"Pardon?" I asked with small eyes.

"My chest, how comfy is it?" she repeated, her smile growing more surly.

"I-I wasn't trying to rate it, i-it just happened to feel comfy!" I nearly shouted as my face grew red.

"Well then," she began as her wings folded around me, pulling me in close to her, "~would you like to have a better feel~?" My mind was quickly becoming clouded as I continued to freak out in her wings, unable to reply to the sun goddess's sudden forwardness. "I'm only joking young one." I looked up to Celestia and saw that she was silently giggling at my awkward disposition, satisfied with her teasing. "Gotcha," she said with a teasing yet motherly tone. She finally unfurled her wings and allowed me to slump to the floor as I let out a long sigh to clear my head. "Mr. Ask," Celestia began.

"It's just Ask, actually," I corrected as I picked my self up.

"Ask then. You are the first person in over four centuries to look upon me without intimidation of my title as a princess, and for that, I thank you. I can see that we are to expect very interesting things from you in the time to come," she said as she stared at me with a motherly smile.

"Thank you Celestia, but I don't plan on staying. I'm just passing through. I actually have a home to get back to," I said, squashing any plans she may have for me here.

"Oh," she said as she seemed a bit taken back my statement, "very well then. I cannot help it if you choose not to stay, but please allow me a question if you will."

"Alright," I responded with a bit of suspicion.

"Just how did you come to end up rolling into my throne room?" I opened my mouth to respond, only to quickly close it. What can I tell them? They don't believe I'm from another world, and I doubt they're going to believe my story that my watch brought me here. What am I supposed to say? That I got there by accident, that I was trying a hand at magic and it went horribly wrong, that I lost my home and I had been for forced out of it? And it was this last one that really hit me. I had just been forced from my world. My friends, my enemies, my fellow Independents, my home town Elenoir, everything that I held dear was ripped away from me, and I didn't have any means of getting it back.

My face started to darken at this thought, my eyes losing a bit of there shine and my face frowning. "I... got evicted from my h-home, and by I was f-forcibly ejected me out by a teleportation spell. I d-didn't really know where I would up, and I didn't know if I could ever get back. I... I lost my home, along with all the ties I have there... and I have no way of getting them back," I said shakily as my fists started to clench, unable to help the angst I felt inside. The girls looked at me with sympathy, frowns of there own on there faces.

"I see, I am terribly sorry to hear that," Celestia said as she brought herself close to hug me. I almost immediately pushed her away, my eyes going white at her touch, causing each of them to look at me nervously.

"Uhh, n-no. I-it's fine. I-it's was j-just a half-life, nothing worth missing," I lied looking away. The girls continued to look upon me with pity, each trying to come up with something to use to try and help.

Suddenly, Twilight's eyes brightened as a large smile formed on her face. "Princess!" she screamed as we all flinched, "this is perfect!"

"What's perfect?" I asked with a bit of dread.

Twilight didn't say anything as she came up to Celestia and whispered something into her ear. Just as suddenly, she smiled as widely as Twilight did. "That is a most excellent idea Twilight!"

"What is?" I pushed.

"Well, I suppose that settles it!" Celestia said with finality.

"What is settled?!" I screamed.

"You're new life!" Twilight screamed in my face with glee.

"What?" I asked blankly.

"As Twilight is to become a princess of her own province in time, Golden Oaks Library will soon lose its librarian and will be forced to shut down. This will greatly affect Ponyville as it is the only reference archive the town has to offer," Celestia explained.

"Reference archive? It just looked to me that it was just Twilight's personal book cache," I thought.

"With that in mind, I do hereby make this official decree. Ask of Manehattan," she said as she looked down upon me, "I do hereby appoint you to be Twilight Sparkle's first apprentice!"

"What?!" I said with a contorted face.

"You are to shadow her work at Golden Oaks and understand her former duties, which include but are not limited to managing Golden Oaks' catalogue of books, keeping track of book distribution, tending to the archiving of the local newspapers..." Are they kidding me? A desk job in Ponyville? A Desk Job?! IN PONYVILLE?!

"... regularly importing new literature, and your three most important duties." This made me turn to her with an expression of anxiety. "Regular care of the Elements of Harmony located out on display in the library, training in learning to take care of Twilight's assistant, Spike, along with other citizens of Ponyville and my personal favorite." she said with a proud smile that only made me more nervous. "You are to document your findings on the magic of friendship that you learn during your apprenticeship and report them back to me."

I could only stand there as a mix of rage and disgust slowly manifested in my mind. I was to research and care for that stupid pseudo-science!? "And fear not, Twilight and her friends will be more than happy to assist you as you adapt to the townspeople and your new surroundings. I will be more than happy to offer lodging and a steady salary as long as your duties are performed properly. And if you prove up to the mark, I may one day fully transfer Twilight's duties to you!" Celestia finished.

"Uhh, thank you milady but-"

"Yeehaaawwaww!" Applejack hollered, interrupting my rebuttal. "Well that sounds mighteh fine princess! A new neighbor in Ponehville! And a man at that!" She then grabbed me around the shoulder and brought me low. "Listen, I'm not sayin' that that library stuff ain't impertant, but if yer ever in the mood fer some real work, stop on by the farm. We could always use an extra pair of strong erms to help with the apple-bucking," she said with a wink.

"And if you ever have a hankering for some awesome pranks, just look me up. Seriously, just look up, I'll be around. Besides, I still want to have a race and gauge your stamina," Rainbow Dash said with a toothy smirk and wink.

"A-and I am always looking for new styles and forms to experiment on, and I would be more than willing to compensate for your time. So if you are ever in the spirit to try some new fashions, Carousel Boutique is always open for your business Monsieur," Rarity added with a nervous smile and blush as she came close to my ear and quickly whispered, "and also if you desire to offer more of your gentlemanly quips."

"Well then," Twilight said, "I believe you just got a new home Ask, and I just got a new roommate!"

"In that case, I suppose I will leave you to my loyal subjects Ask," Celestia said, "Welcome to your new Equestrian life!" Celestia announced to all. "Now if you follow the girls outside, I have arranged for a carriage to take you all back to Ponyville. You may leave when ready." And with that, Celestia's horn began to glow and after a few seconds, she disappeared in a flash of blinding light.

"Alright ladies, let's head out!" Twilight exclaimed as she started for the throne room door.

"Now just hold on Twi'. What happened to Shy?" Applejack asked. My body started to tense up again.

"Ughh, I see her! Just hold on!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she flew to behind Celestia's throne. "Come on Fluttershy! It's time to go! Besides, there's somepony new you've got to meet!" Rainbow Dash said as she pulled on a bright yellow pair of wings.

"Okay, time to go. Now!" I thought.

"Ugh, come on sugarcube! Ya can't keep doin' this when somepony new pops into yer life!" Applejack said as she joins Rainbow Dash in grabbing Fluttershy's wings.

"Run. Run now. This freaky dream is about to become a nightmare. Run now before she comes out!"

"Fluttershy! Come on already!" Twilight exclaimed as her horn illuminated, wrapping a pink aura around what looked like a pair of female legs. Rarity had headed to the front of the pack and and begun to pry at what I could only assume to be her friend's arms. As they continued to grunt and struggle, I had finally decided that it was time to go, both for my sake and for theirs. I quickly spun around and began to run for the door, when all of a sudden, I heard a large pop. Turning around to see what had happened, I saw a large blur of pink and yellow flying at me at a dangerous speed. I outstretched my arms as I was slammed down onto the ground, the wind knocked out of me as I caught the object. As the pain started to settle, I felt something soft graze my nose. Opening my eyes, I saw that it was a bright yellow feather that had fallen from a just as yellow Pegasus wing.

As I examined the object closer, I saw that it appeared to be a rather small girl, around five-five, approximately my age, wearing a long green floral skirt that reached her ankles and an oversized yellow sweater. To the side of my head was a large amount of long, silky, rose-pink hair. After a few seconds, the mass of hair pulled itself up, rubbing its head with a free hand. "Ow," she said in a delicately soft voice. She then removed the hair that concealed her face, and finally took a good look at me.

Now, I don't know what scientists or romantics say about love at first sight, but I was definitely feeling something. Before me, with snow white skin, soft pink lips, hair styled so that the left side of her face could be concealed, was the creature that evoked an army of emotions that stormed from my feet to my brain. Staring down at me with her aqua blue eyes, wings fully erect, was the element of kindness and the caretaker of the woodland creatures of the Everfree forest, Fluttershy. I didn't know what to say, what to do. I felt anger, guilt, annoyance, sympathy, nausea, and whole slew of emotions I couldn't explain. Do I help her up, demand she get off of me, run? After few seconds that felt like days of just staring into each others eyes, I finally tried to diffuse the situation.

"Uh, h-hi?"

I thought that that would be delicate enough not to spook her and send her off the handle. Unfortunately, my arms around her, she on top of me, and the overly excessive amount of staring only served to make even the slightest action set Fluttershy off. Before I could say anything else, she screamed, slammed my head against the floor, and used me as a launch pad to fly back to her friends in a panic. As I began to get up, gripping my chest in agony, I managed to utter four words, "I... hate Equestria girls."

* * *

"We are really really REALLY sorry about that Ask," Twilight consoled. It took some doing, but we managed to get us all into the carriage to Ponyville and were in mid-flight. I was gripping my head as a migraine was starting to form.

"No. I'm sorry," I said as I looked towards the girls. "Sorry I didn't lobotomize Trisha from loving you when I had the chance," I thought to myself.

All six of us sat within the carriage as we made our way to Ponyville, with Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy on one side and Rarity, Twilight, and myself on the other. Tensions were high, as Fluttershy was still afraid to look in my direction while the others were continuing to apologize for her actions.

"You must realize Ask that poor Fluttershy is-"

"-frightened easily, I know. I realized that from her name," I said as I stared out the window at the earth below us.

"Er-yes... well... why don't we try to get to know each other better?" Rarity proposed.

"Sounds like a plan Rare," Applejack said, "so Asky, where ya from?"

"...I come from Elenoir," I said, not even bothering to turn around.

"Elenoir? Never heard of it," Rainbow commented.

"I would be surprised if you did."

"Oh? Why is that?" Twilight inquired.

"Let's just say that Elenoir is a long, long way away from here," I melancholily replied.

"Okay...? So, how did you end up in Manehattan?" asked Twilight.

"Wanted to get away from the boring everyday pattern I guess. But I still miss that old place."

"You have any friends back home?" Applejack asked.

"Here and there, although I can honestly say I do have a best friend, Rito. There also was my flatmate, Trisha, although most of the time our relationship consisted of her beating the stuffing out of me."

"Haha, sounds like my kind of girl," Rainbow sneered.

"Yeah, that doesn't encourage your fans to think you're a lesbian at all," I thought sarcastically.

"Speaking of relationships," Rarity asked as she and the others moved a bit closer to me, "is there a special somepony in your life at the moment?"

"No, and I plan to keep it that way. Relationships are only distractions when it comes to getting real things done, both romantic and platonic," I said as I gently pushed them away.

"So, you're saying that you don't find value in relationships? Even if it's just friendship?" Twilight asked in a concerned tone.

"No I do not. I've got better things to do with my time. To quote a phrase I once heard, 'The fate of Equestria does not rest on me making friends!'"

"That is uncanny! That's exactly what I said on my first day in Ponyville, before I met my friends and-"

"-discovered the truth and power in the magic of friendship in order to vanquish Nightmare Moon three years ago in the old castle of the royal sisters. Yes, I remember," I interrupted in annoyance.

"Humph, well Smartypants, if you know so much, why don't you tell me what we were for nightmare night two years ago!" said Twilight in a huff.

"Rainbow Dash was a shadowbolt and went around scaring people with a storm cloud, Applejack was a scarecrow and managed the games and activities at the nightmare night festival, Rarity was going to go as Princess Luna but thought it inappropriate given what happened to the real Princess Luna that night, you were Star-Swirl the Bearded and worked to get Princess Luna accepted by the people of Ponyville, Pinkie was a chicken that was overriding your progress by her screams that Luna was a monster, and Fluttershy didn't go as anything and stayed at her home all night long because _she was Afraid!_" I finished with heavy emphasis on the last comment.

The girls looked at me stunned at what they had just heard. "H-how-?"

"I have my ways Miss Sparkle. And that's Mr. Smartypants thank you. I am not your childhood rag doll."

"What!? Okay, explain to me how you knew about that now!" Twilight said as her face grew more and more red.

"You didn't think word would get around that the prized pupil of Princess Celestia had enchanted her entire town in a fit of mental instability over being tardy with an assignment?" I dead-panned. The others were about to argue for Twilight, but I quickly added, "And that her friends had all the potential to stop it from happening if they had taken their friend's situation a little more seriously?" At this, they all said nothing, embarrassed in their past mistake. "Relax everypony, it was in the past and you learned from it. That's all there is to it," I said trying to snap them out of it.

"Y-yeah, you're right," Twilight conceded.

"Now, may I ask some questions to you all?" I asked. I was met by a number of different agreements, all except from Fluttershy, who seemed to shake at the question. "Alright," I began, "why do we use terms like everypony and colt and mare if we are not ponies?"

Twilight raised her hand and explained, "Well, as we all know, we had evolved from varying equine creatures with differing qualities. Some had horns to channel magic, some had wings to fly and control weather, and others had advanced strength to work land. As time had passed and we developed our current language, we drew upon those equine origins and incorporated equine terms into our speech."

"So there are still equines around today?"

"Yes sir, the runts o' the litter. They didn't have any o' the fancy Pegasi or Unicorn assets an' weren't as strong as Earth equines, but still managed not teh be snuffed out by nature. Eventually, we set 'em to be used for transport an' farm work," Applejack added.

"Okay, one more question just for now," I began as I was starting to piece it all together. "Where are your cutie marks?"

At this question, all five girls immediately gave me a disgusted and outraged look that made me raise an eyebrow. "What?" I questioned.

"How dare you."

My attention turned to the source of the voice, revealing it to be Fluttershy. "HOW DARE YOU!" she said as she got in my face. "You think that you have the right to treat my friends so poorly, and then you ask such a personal question? Well I think not mister! You claim to be a gentlecolt and you ask that?! I have half a mind to report you to the authorities right this instant! Didn't your mother teach you about cutie marks and how sacred they are to people, especially mares?!" she finished as her infuriated eyes were centimeters from my own.

My mom... now thats something I haven't talked about in a while. Almost instantly, my eyes grew dark at Fluttershy's words. I pulled my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, looking down at my watch. I began to frown as Fluttershy continued to stare down at me. "No actually... I... I don't remember ever having a Mom... or a Dad."

Almost immediately, Fluttershy backed off and her eyes grew soft and sympathetic. "Y-you d-don't remember your parents?" She asked in a quiet voice.

"How can you not remember having parents?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I just don't, alright?" I said as my body began to shake uncontrollably.

"What about your brothers or sisters, aunts and uncles?" Applejack questioned with worry.

"I told you I can't remember. Now can we please drop the issue?" I said as I buried my head in my legs.

"I-I didn't mea-"

"Now arriving in Ponyville!" screamed the lead Pegasus pulling the carriage. With a few rattles and shakes, the carriage hit solid ground and eventually came to a halt.

"Well, shall we then?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"B-but-"

"Great!" I said sliding through the door and and landing on the soft earth. I quickly grabbed the door handle and held open the carriage door for the girls to exit. "Ladies," I said with a small bow. Although a little wary, the girls eventually filed out past me, each offering a thank you to both myself and the Pegasi at the carriages helm. "Thank you gentlemen," I said as I shut the carriage door and followed the girls.

"Well Ask," Twilight said as she led me forward, "welcome to Ponyville!"

Around me were several buildings that looked to be modeled after old medieval cottages. Most were made of wood with hay making up the roofs. I could spot the town hall in the distance, along with Sugarcube Corner to the east. Yet one thing that seemed off was from what I saw of Ponyville on the show, it didn't look like anyone was in town.

"Um, Miss Sparkle? Is the town normally this empty?" I asked.

"No... but I have a pretty good idea why..." Twilight said with a grin towards the other girls, they sharing the same expression.

"Alright? Well... shall we see this library I'm apparently going to take up?" I requested as we continued to walk through town.

"Absolutely!" Twilight said. As we continued to walk through town, no one appeared at all. There were no Pegasi flying around, no people walking in the street, nothing. Eventually a large oak tree fashioned with windows, a large red door, and a few balconies came into view. To the side of the door was a sign that showed the image of an open book.

"Golden Oaks Library: Ponyville's finest collection of Literature for almost a century," I read as the sign came into view.

"And I can personally vouch for that," Twilight said proudly. "Welcome to your new home here in Ponyville."

My new home, huh? Well... it will do for now. "Well, shall we go in?" I asked.

"Uh, you go on ahead sugarcube. We, uhh, have teh, uhhh," Applejack said as she looked like she was physically struggling with her words, "get, uhhh-"

"Our fittings!" Rainbow Dash screamed as she brought her hand over Applejack's mouth.

"You're fittings?" I questioned suspiciously.

"Yeah... for our... winter hats!" she said with a toothy smile.

"It's the middle of spring," I said with accusing eyes.

"Uhh, can't be too prepared! Come on Applejack, Rarity!" Rainbow quickly said as she whisked Applejack and Rarity behind the library.

"And I've got some things to do for Princess Celestia. Why don't you go on in and make yourself comfortable and I will see you soon, alright Ask?"

"Actually I'd appreciate it if you-" Before I could finish, Twilight's horn glowed and she disappeared in a flash, leaving me alone with Fluttershy. I turned to the library and reached my hand forward towards the handle, when I suddenly felt a chill down my spine.

"_Nothing is coincidence. Analyze and see what cannot be seen._"

As DJ's words echoed in my brain, I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. "Okay. Five people who were meant to supervise my move to a new place I never have been to before had decided to leave me for completely illegitimate reasons just before the place where we were intended to go, in a town where no one appears to be around. Something is behind this door that they want me to see alone, something they couldn't tell me. They expect me to go through this door," I analyzed as I moved my head towards a balcony, "so they won't expect me to go through a window." Before I could begin my climb, I felt a hand grasp my shoulder. I turned to find Fluttershy looking at me with sad eyes. "Yes?" I asked curtly.

She seemed to be rather intimidated, as she looked at me rather fearfully. "I'm sorry."

"Pardon?"

"I'm sorry," she said, looking like she was on the verge of tears, "I'm sorry for what I said back in the carriage. I-I didn't know that-"

"That I can't remember anything about my family? No, I didn't think you did," I said dryly as I began to climb the tree.

"B-but if I could just-"

"It's alright Fluttershy, just drop it."

"M-maybe I could-"

"It's alright. Leave it!" I said as I continued to grow angry.

"Please, if I could just..." Fluttershy continued on with this as I made my way up to Twilight's balcony, flying beside me the entire way. My progress wasn't being helped as her voice continued to barrage my ear. Ughh, that voice. That squeaky, irritating, smooth,...sensitive,...delicate,...sweet,

caring, surprisingly soothing, cute, sex- what am I saying?! I shook myself out of my trance as I finally made it to the window.

"Look Fluttershy. You really want to repay me?"

"Oh yes! What can I do?" she said as she flew up to me and looked at me with a large grin and big eyes.

"F-first, please keep a bit of distance from me please," I said as I pushed her a few feet from me, "and second."

"Yes?" she asked expectantly.

"Stop talking, period."

"O-oh, ...alright." Fluttershy said in a hurt voice as she lowered her head and landed on the ground, taking refuge within her hair. It took a while, but I managed to pry the window open and we slipped inside. It was rather dark, but I noticed a bed nearby and made quick dash underneath the covers. "Now, what are you Equestrians planning?" I crawled to the outer edge of the covers, but I was quickly shocked when the covers were ripped from the bed and the lights flew on.

"SURPRISE!"

I was greeted by a barrage of dozens of voices and smiling faces as they surrounded the bed near me. My eyes grew extremely small as I was lifted off the bed and thrown to the center of the library. "Surprise Asky!" I whipped my head around to see Pinkie Pie as she blew a party-favor in my face and slapped a bright-green party hat onto my head.

"Pinkie Pie, please stop trying to cause me to have a stroke! And what is all this?! How did you know I would come through the window?! And why are you using that stupid nickname?!" I questioned as I gripped my heart.

"Duh! It's your 'Welcome to Ponyvile' party silly! I throw one whenever a new face comes to town! It helps to get them to know the townspeople better and to help them make a ton of friends! My Pinkie Sense, thats my ability to make little predictions by the way, told me to look out a window for something fun, and there you were! Oh, and as for the name, when I heard it from Applejack, I realized she was right! It does fit a cutie like you!" she said as she rubbed my cheeks with her hands.

"Pinkie Pieh, gett yer heinds off mee face!" I said as she continued to contort my face.

"Hee hee heh, allllllrightyyyy!" Pinkie said as she let my cheeks go.

"Now," Applejack said coming up from behind me, "why don't we interduce you to the people of Ponehville?" Before I could contest, Applejack grabbed me around my shoulders and began to whisk me from guest to guest, giving off their names and their occupation. I managed to recognize quite a few of them, such as Lyra, Bon Bon, Octavia, Vinyl Scratch, Berry Punch, Colgate, Carrot Top, Big Macintosh, Granny Smith, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, the Mane 6, even Derpy Hooves and her goofy mug. I'll admit, it was heavily surreal to see them as human beings as opposed to colorful ponies, and I will say it was an improvement.

Eventually Applejack saw that I was worn out from all the introductions, so she let me take a break beside a large vat. As I was about to take a seat, Rainbow Dash came up behind me and dragged me down to my knees in front of the vat. "Alright Asky boy! Time for some good old Pinkie Pie Party Apple-Bobbing! Rules are simple, dunk your head in, find an apple, pull it back up with your teeth, and you are a winner," she squeaked as she grabbed my head and prepared to dunk me.

"Rainbow Dash, are you nuts!?"

"Relax, it's all in good fun. Oh, and you might want to watch out for some of the extra surprises put in there."

"Wait a sec-" Before I could get out another word, Rainbow Dash hurled my head down into the vat as I began to suffocate. As water sloshed all around me, something clammy had found its way around my head, causing me to jump back in fright. I tried looking for help, but all I could see was dark walls all around me. I raised a hand and felt something cool and slippery around my head, and it felt alive. Almost immediately I realized what the object was and began to grow annoyed at Pinkie. "Someone, geet thes thoopid aleigater uff me!" I screamed through my muzzle. Pinkie eventually came and removed the object from my face as she held it forward, revealing her toothless pet alligator, Gummy.

"Aww, even Gummy likes you. I have a really good feeling about you Asky. I can make a Pinkie Promise right now that people here are gonna love you just as much as you love them," Pinky said as she led me to a confections table.

"Believe me Pinkie when I say you would be wrong there," I said in between strained breaths.

"Awwwww, you mean you're gonna love them more than they love you? That's so nice of you Asky! But just remember," Pinkie began as she suddenly came close to my face with a dead serious look, "I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU MORE," she finished in a very harsh whisper.

"N-noted," I said in a rush.

"Excellent to hear that Ask," Rarity said as she came to our table, "it's good to hear your adapting well to your new home," she said with a smile.

"Lady Rarity, I don't think-urkk!" I was unable to finish my counter as a large piece of cake was lodged into my mouth, smearing icing all across my lips and cheeks. Imagine eating ten pixie-sticks, eleven packs of pop rocks, twenty chocolate covered marshmallows, and topped it all off with a liter of pop. That is only a fraction of the sugar and energy I felt from eating that one piece of cake. I immediately spit it out as I began to jitter from all the sugar packed in as Twilight quickly approached with a napkin.

"Sorry about that, Pinkie Pie gets a little bit too hyper when it comes to parties," she explained as she wiped the icing from my face. "By the way, why did you come in through the window anyway?"

"Yeah! Were you trying to think outside the box when it comes to party arrivals?!" Pinkie asked me excitedly.

"No Chancellor Puddinghead, that would be too common. I was trying to _think inside the chimney!" _I sarcastically screamed.

"Really?! Yes! Applejack, you owe me four bits! It caught on!" Pinkie said as she ran towards her farmer friend.

Rarity then came up and brought one of her arms around my own, linking herself to me rather tightly. "Yes, well, do you mind using some of that thinking while escorting me to meet my lady-friends at the day spa tomorrow Monsieur Ask?" Rarity asked with batted eyes. "It would mean so much to me if you could display your prowess of speech as you did earlier today."

"Milady, I don't think I would be able to offer much that would impress ladies of your status," I protested, but Rarity just swooned again at my words.

"You just called me Milady! And you are so modest! Oh, Aloe and Lotus will simply die to meet you! In fact, they must!"

"B-but-"

"It's settled then! Tomorrow at noon you will accompany Fluttershy and me to the spa!" Rarity said with finality. I quickly backed away from her, attempting to separate from the girls and get as far away as possible. However, a rather loud pop song started to play that bounced all around the room.

Suddenly Pinkie appeared out of nowhere and quickly grabbed me by my collar. "Aww yeah! This is my jam! Come on Asky, let's dance!" As Pinkie brought me to the dance floor, she began to shake and move to the rhythm of the song, waiting for me to join her.

"Pinkie Pie, I don't dance," I said as I tried to back away from the party animal.

"Don't be silly Asky! Just let the music in and let it move you! Like this!" Pinkie began to move faster to the music and her moves became a lot less controlled. I'll admit she could dance pretty well, but she had almost hit a few of the guests that were watching, and was coming very close to me.

"Pinkie Pie! Slow down!"

"I can't hear you, I'm too busy letting the music move me!" Pinkie yelled with closed eyes as she moonwalked.

"I mean it Pinkie Pie, slow down or you're gonna hurt somepony!"

"I can't! The rhythm's got me and won't let me go!" she said as she sambaed closer to me.

"Pinkie Pie, don't you dare-" but it was too late, as Pinkie grabbed my hands and wrapped one around her waist. A slow Latin-esque song started to play as she grabbed a rose out of a nearby vase and clenched it with her teeth. As she led me forward, I kept my pace with her footing and managed to perform quite well.

As we tangoed across the floor, I had brought her down into a dip as she stared up at my face. "And you said you couldn't dance?" she said with a grin.

"I said I didn't dance, not that I couldn't," I said as I pulled her up. We continued to move and spin for a few more minutes, until I noticed that Pinkie had begun to turn rather quickly. As I tried to keep up, I realized that there was no way I could manage to match her speed, and worse yet, my hands were slipping. As I continued to hold on for dear life as we formed a small pink tornado, my hands had finally broke from Pinkie's body, and I was hurled across the room. Next thing I know, I'm in a pile of rubble just outside the library. I turned back to see through a familiarly shaped hole that Pinkie finally stopped as she took a bow before cheering party guests. "That's it, I'm out of here." With that, I scrapped myself off the floor and fled into the heart of town.

* * *

"Some welcome party. I get thrown around a room like a rag doll as I'm forced to meet random strangers, almost get water-logged, put into a shock induced by sugar, and thrown through a wall as people cheered for my attacker," I thought as I made my way down the empty streets. "This is what I meant by a waste of time. I can't be bothered by stuff like this. I should be back in Elenoir, helping Rito oversee the legal proceedings of the Silver Serpents, making sure Trisha isn't dead on her work station, and trying to apologize to Kotegawa for abandoning her."

Funny. All these things had caused me so much grief back at home, yet I can't get them out of my mind. I dug through by bag until I found my iPhone and accessed my photo albums, beginning to look back at my old pictures of Elenoir. I saw the picture taken on the day I smelted my sword, Artemis, with DJ proudly overlooking me as I brandished my new weapon. I saw the victory shot I took with Lea as we had just beaten Sonata and Rito in a paintball war, our blue paint pistols high in the air as we wore big grins on our faces, while Rito and Sonata lay on the ground in a dizzy trance. I saw a shot of me balancing a pile of books on my head as I led Sonata by hand to a tea table in a careful manner, sentimental smiles on each of our faces. I found one of me and Kotegawa under a tree during winter, with her resting on my shoulder as were tied together by a bright pink scarf she had wanted to share. I even found a pic of Trisha holding me close to her chest, our eyes closed in contentment by being near each other as she was stroking my hair. Memory after memory came back to me, each causing my heart to grow heavier and heavier.

"Um, M-mister Ask?" I quickly brought my phone back to my bag as I turned to see Fluttershy flying towards me.

"What is it Fluttershy?" I asked tersely.

"Uh, T-Twilight and the others are..." she muttered very quietly.

"What?"

"T-Twilight a-and the others..." she almost whispered again.

"A little louder?" I asked, my anger rising.

"T-Twilight a-a-and..." she couldn't even finish as she hid behind her hair and began to whimper.

"Geez Fluttershy, if you can't tell me what it is you want, don't waste my time," I said as I started to walk away.

"W-wait! Where are y-you going?" she asked.

"Anywhere but here."

"B-but you s-said that you-"

"No, I didn't say. I didn't say or ask for anything," I said as I turned back and marched up to Fluttershy. "I didn't ask to become an apprentice, I didn't ask for a party, and I didn't ask for your sympathy!"

"P-please don't..." she whimpered as she fell to the ground.

"Ugh, you see. This!" I said as I pointed down towards her. "This is why I can't stand you! You always are afraid! You can't even look at your shadow without flinching! Why should I accept anything from you if you can't take care of yourself?!"

"I'm j-just trying to help. Y-you're all alone here and-"

"And that gives you the right to pity me?! To see me as some broken, injured, or naive creature that needs you to hold my hand, telling me that everything's alright?! That you can somehow understand how it feels to have everything you ever had, everything you clung to because you had nothing else, taken away in an instant?!"

"W-why are you doing this?" Fluttershy said as her eyes started to tear up. "Why do you not like me?"

"Not like you?" I said, stooping down to her eye level, "You give me no reason to like you. Quite frankly, I despise you, all of you. You and your friends that believe in those namby-pamby Elements of Harmony. Friendship isn't magic, Loyalty is for the stupid, Generosity is for the arrogant, Honesty is for the ignorant, Laughter is irrelevant in the world, and Kindness? Kindness is just a word that you use to cover your motives to obtain something from someone else. You aren't kind because that's who you are Fluttershy, you're kind because you fear anything else will cause you pain. You're not kind, you're just meeting a transaction, security in exchange for submission. And you know what Fluttershy?" I said staring dead into her eyes, peering right into her soul, "That just makes you pathetic."

She couldn't hold it in anymore. Tears poured down Fluttershy's face as she began to sob openly. I was quickly snapped out of my trance and looked down at what I had done. "F-Fluttershy... I-" But she didn't give me a chance to explain. She quickly outstretched her wings and flew off towards the opposite side of town. I've seen girls cry in front of me before, but that was the first time that one cried because of me.

* * *

As I continued to walk through town, I couldn't help a nagging feeling in the back of my mind. "What was I supposed to do, lie? I hate Fluttershy and I told her as such. I'm not wrong here," I thought aloud.

"_Really? You think it's right to cause innocent girls to cry just because you've got problems?" _said a small voice in the back of my mind.

"Hey, I don't have problems! Besides, they got on my nerves, and they pried into my private life."

_"They were concerned and trying to help you, just like everything and everyone else in your life."_

"I don't need fixing! All I need is a way to get back to Elenoir."

_"You NEED an attitude adjustment. If not to do the right thing, then to at least be in the good graces of the Equestrians, especially since it doesn't look like you'll be leaving anytime soon."_

"I don't need to do anything, I can manage on my own."

_"Is that what you said seven years ago? When Trisha found you?"_

"Great, even I'm bringing up the past now? That was then, this is now."

_"And now, you need to go and apologize to Fluttershy!"_

"Why is everyone so keen that I spend time with that coward?!"

_"I'm your conscience. If I'm telling you to do so, you know you truly want to."_

"No, that just means based on my experiences and culture, my conscience had developed to not mimic my true understanding of the world, almost to the point of a separate personality."

_"Or you're in denial. Look, This isn't getting us anywhere, so can you at least do me a favor?"_

"Fine, what?"

_"Look in your bag, pull out the plush you have of the pony you supposedly hate, the one you just made cry, look at it very closely, and if you can honestly say that you don't feel some measure of guilt for what you did, then go on with your plan. If not, you know what to do."_

As I looked into my bag, I pulled out Trisha's Fluttershy plush and stared into its eyes. As I continued to stare, everything else in the world seemed to black out, leaving me alone with the plush and my thoughts. At first, I felt irritation and annoyance at the plush, but then I really saw her eyes, her sad, scared eyes. The kind of eyes that screamed help me over and over, that begged for someone to come along and just pull you away from all your troubles. Slowly, I started to lose sight of the plush toy and began to see a scared ten-year-old boy standing at a street corner, cold, wet, and crying from the rain with those same eyes. Everything seemed hopeless for him, yet he couldn't explain why or how he ended up where he did or what he was going to do. Yet when all seemed lost, out off all the darkness and cold around him, there was one figure out of the masses that seemed to radiate light and warmth as she came close and offered a hand to him. He was initially wary, but he quickly dismissed those doubts as she offered him a warm smile that seemed to burst with assurance, taking her hand as she led him away from his lonely corner. I quickly shook out of my trance as my perception of my environment returned, the plush still in my hand. As I placed it back in my bag, I look towards the direction Fluttershy had fled in, my fist clenched. "...Rrrgh! Damn these ponies! They drive me to be a butthead!" I said as I began to run back for her.

* * *

I kept calling for Fluttershy all along my path, looking for anything that could lead me to her. Eventually, I was able to find yellow feathers just outside of town. I continued to run, my mind shifting between realities as I continued to reflect. I saw myself run through the rain as I was being chased by rabid dogs. I saw Trisha run up to the street corner as she saw what looked to be an orphaned boy lost and alone. I saw myself chase after a stupid orange-haired kid while trying to get my favorite hat back, and I saw myself climbing and scaling the buildings of Elenoir, making one final jump to a ledge that was just out of reach. But I didn't fall, as that same orange-haired kid caught my free hand and pulled me up to meet my teachers and my caretakers, all looking on me with a smile.

"Ahhhhh!" shouted a voice on the wind. I quickly stopped to find the source of the scream that had just blasted by. Looking north, I scrambled as fast as my legs could carry me, fearing the worst of who the screamer was and why they did so. As a forest came into view, I quickly darted in and continued to search for my target, knowing fully well the dangers that lurked inside. Finally, I had found my screamer, and as I feared, it turned out to be Fluttershy. She was sprawled on the ground as she tried to struggle to her feet, her leg caught between two rather large stones. Beside her was a small boy with green hair that wore a bright purple robe along with dark purple slacks, who at the moment was incapacitated. I then noticed what caused Fluttershy to scream.

Standing just before her were seven canines with glowing green eyes, bodies made from wood, and fangs bared with hunger as the smell of their breathe reeked like a garbage compactor. "Timberwolves," I thought silently from my hiding spot. They silently circled around Fluttershy, waiting for a chance to strike. One of them finally saw their opportunity and lunged at Fluttershy. However, before it got a chance to bite its victim, I emerged from behind the trees and brought it to the ground with a good ram, where it broke apart into a heap of twigs.

"A-Ask?!" Fluttershy asked with surprise. I didn't respond as more of the timberwolves started to attack, each out for blood for their fallen comrade. I continued to punch and kick the wolves away from their meal, each crumpling into a mass of sticks, and after a few minutes, each wolf was down and I finally managed to catch my breath. I quickly turned and started to work to free Fluttershy's leg. "Y-you _SAVED_ me?!" she asked flabbergasted.

"Don't say that yet, this isn't over," I said as I struggled to remove the boulders that held her trapped. As I continued to work, I failed to see one of the heaps of sticks be engulfed in a green aura as it flew back together.

"Look out!" Fluttershy screamed at me. I quickly turned to see a timberwolf charge at me with its jaws open. Being too close to stop, I threw my right arm up in defense as it sunk its teeth down hard into my flesh. Choking back a scream, I rammed its skull against a boulder, removing its teeth as they left fresh wounds. The other wolves were reviving faster and I continued to use any method I could to push them away. Yet as hard as I tried, I was growing tired as the endless barrage of wolves was quickly gaining the advantage.

"This isn't working," I thought to myself. "They won't stay down, and my attacks only seem to make them madder. I need to get rid of them permanently, but how?" Suddenly, a stray bolt of lightning blasted by, striking a nearby branch and making it catch fire. "That will work," I said as I made my way to the branch. Yet something wasn't right. As I moved, time seemed to slow down around me as Sonata's voice filled my mind.

_"Anyone can simply fight others, we all have the tools to do that. Yet a warrior and a hero knows when it is best to fight and when it is best to defend. What separates us from animals is our ability to know how to preserve life when able."_

She wasn't wrong. Sure the Timberwolves had attacked me, but they were only doing it out of instinct, and they didn't deserve to die for it. Plus, I don't think anyone will find it right for me to kill anything around here. My task was to defend Fluttershy, not harm the wolves. I stopped in my tracks to face the wolves as I started to formulate a new plan.

"Okay, I can't beat them by hand, and fire will kill them. Attacking blindly is only making them angry, so I have to find a way to make them want to leave. Granny Smith got rid of Timberwolves by banging a pot. Why did that work? ... Of course!" I thought, "The timberwolves are still canine even if they are made of wood. And one gift and curse about dogs is... sensitive ears! And I have just the thing for that!" I quickly reached into my pack and grabbed out my phone, preparing the app to be used. "Oh... wait," I said as I was about to engage my plan, "My ears are just as sensitive. If I do this..." But before I could ponder any further, one of the wolves of the pack had turned their attention back to Fluttershy and began to charge at her. It was a close call, but I managed to knock it away just before it made contact. There was no more time to think about this. "Fluttershy, cover your ears," I commanded.

"B-but-"

"Fluttershy, I'm trying to be kind here. Now cover your ears," I said with a look of desperation. At hearing me my words, she obediently clasped her hands over her ears and waited. "Well," I said looking with dread at my phone, "this better work."

I engaged my phone and a long, shrill, high-pitched whistle blasted all around us, hitting each of our ears like nails on a chalkboard. The wolves howled with pain as they fell to the ground, while I tried to block out the pain as I held my hand to the phone to keep the sound going. After a few seconds, the dogs began to run as far as they could from us, hoping to escape the wretched sound. I finally let go of my phone and fell to the ground, my ears practically bleeding from the noise. I placed my phone in my bag as I waddled over to Fluttershy, her hands still over her ears and her eyes shut as she cowered. I took her hands down from her head and sweetly whispered, "They're gone now." Fluttershy opened her eyes to see me with a small smile on my face. "You're safe."

The branch that had previously been on fire had now extinguished, and still looked pretty solid for what I had in store for it. I quickly picked it up and dug it into a crevice between the two boulders. As I continued to pull, the two seemed to be slowly separating, and after one good pull, the boulders fell away, freeing Fluttershy's foot and rendering her mobile again. As she tried to stand, she almost immediately fell from pain. I quickly caught her and lowered her back to the ground. "Easy does it. Now," I said as I pulled out a first-aid kit, "you can't stand, right?" She nodded. "Okay, I'm going to need to examine your foot to see what's going on, which means I'm going to need to touch you. Is that okay?" Although a bit hesitant, Fluttershy agreed and I began to push back her skirt so her leg was visible. "No broken bones, and nothing seems to be dislocated. Just a bit of a sprained ankle from the stones. Nothing to be worried about, but I do want to ice it just in case." I quickly brought out an ice pack and proceeded to wrap it around Fluttershy's leg. As I worked, Fluttershy was eyeing me with fear and confusion.

"...You're bleeding," she whispered. I looked up from my work and noticed she was right. The bite from the timberwolf didn't pierce any bone, but it did leave a number of deep cuts along my forearm, bright red trickles of blood flowing out of the openings.

"Just a scratch, nothing I can't patch up later. There." With the pack firmly secure on Fluttershy's ankle, I wrapped up my medical supplies and placed them back into my carrier bag. "Now, for our second patient. Wake up kid," I said as I gently shook the boy Fluttershy was defending.

With a groan, he slowly came to, opening his eyelids to reveal two bright green eyes. "Wuh, what happened?" he asked in a high voice.

"You passed out. How you did, I'm not sure, but it looks like you're alright and not in danger of any concussion. May I ask who you are?"

"O-oh, I'm Spike. I work at Golden Oaks Library as the head librarian's number one assistant," he said with vigor.

"So this is what Spike looks like here," I thought, "well in any case..."

"Spike, would the head librarian you are referring to be Twilight Sparkle?" I questioned.

"Yeah, why?" he asked with a frown.

"Do you think you can make it out of the forest alone?"

"I guess so..."

"Then Spike, I need you to do me a favor. Head back to Ponyville and go straight to the library. You should find Twilight and her friends there, probably wondering what happened to Fluttershy and me. Tell them that we're safe and that we will be there soon. Don't come back, just keep them there. The last thing we need is more people lost in the Everfree Forest. Can you do this?" I asked as I finished conveying my orders.

Spike got back to his feet and gave me a confident smile along with a small salute. "Can do, mister...?"

"Ask, just Ask, and thank you."

With that, Spike turned and began his trek out of the forest. I turned my attention to Fluttershy as she began to stand up again, only to fall once more. With a sigh, I stooped to my knees with my back towards her, my arms extended behind me. Fluttershy just stared at me for a few seconds, expecting that I would do something. However, after a full minute passed, I groaned as I turned to face her.

"Get on." I said dully.

"W-what?" she asked.

"Wrap your arms around my neck and hop on my back. You're not walking with that ankle, and I don't want to consider how flying would turn out. So get on," I said impatiently. After a few seconds passed, I turned again and said, "Look Fluttershy, I'm just trying to be kind here, so will you please help me to help you?" I said as I extended a hand forward, offering a small smile. She looked at me with a look of curiosity and fear, but nonetheless took my hand and wrapped her arms around my neck. I slowly lifted off the ground and hiked Fluttershy onto my back. She was surprisingly light for someone her size.

* * *

As we piggy-backed to Ponyville, I felt her start to lean her head down against my spine, her hair splayed all around her.

"Thank you."

"I'm sorry?" I asked tilting my head back.

"Thank you, for saving me from the timberwolves. I honestly didn't think I would have survived if you hadn't intervened," she said solemnly.

"I... it wasn't anything to be thankful for. I was just trying to get an opportunity from it," I said looking forward.

"Oh? O-opportunity to what?"

"... say sorry," I muttered.

"What?" Fluttershy asked quizzically.

"... sorry."

"One more time please."

"... To say that I'm sorry," I said louder, causing Fluttershy's eyes to widen a bit. "I'm sorry for what I said back in the carriage, for what I said back at the library, and especially for what I said in town. I-I don't think your pathetic, but I will admit, it's hard for me to be near any of you."

"Why is that? We aren't going to gobble you up," Fluttershy asked innocently.

"Heh, I have no doubt that my backside will remain whole and ungobbled Fluttershy, but... where I come from... it's not easy letting others get close to you. People cheat and steal both wealth and life, and there is crime around every corner. It's either look out for yourself or get swallowed up in trouble."

"So... you were all alone?"

"Well, no. I did have my flatmate, Trisha, along with my friends, Rito and Yui. There also were my teachers, Sonata, Lea, and DJ. We all worked to try and help others that were hit hard by crimes around our home. We actually were gaining a bit of attention in the town's underbelly for putting a few people out of commission. And it wasn't all just work either. We used to always go out every Saturday for pizza and a movie, we competed with each other at who knows how many games and challenges, we stared in plays at the local community theater, made movies together, went camping, traveled, everything!" I thought back with glee.

"Sounds like you all were very close," Fluttershy said with a small but happy smile.

"Yeah, but..." I said as my head fell low, "...I always tried to keep them at a distance though. We may have been friends, but I never let them get to the heart of my issues. I always just tried to keep a strong face for them and left anything bothering me bottled up. Yet now that I've lost them, I just want to keep them as close as possible. Guess you don't really know what you have until it's gone, huh?" My lip started to quiver at this thought. What if there really was no way to get back to my home? Where would I start to search even if there was one? No one believed my story, so I couldn't just ask for their help. And even if I did find a way back, would I be able to use it? Could it work for non-Equestrians?

My heart was starting to ache as I continued to consider how bleak my situation was. Along with this, my vision was quickly clouding, reaching the point where I couldn't see two feet in front of me, and it was only getting worse as my dread grew. However, just as my vision was about to go altogether, I left something large, soft, and warm wrap itself around me. It was strange, but as the heat that was coming off of whatever it was seeped into me, my body felt surprisingly light. A minute ago, my heart was as heavy as an anvil, but now it felt as though it could soar high above the clouds. As my vision slowly came back, I looked down to see a surprise.

Draped along each side of my body was one of Fluttershy's vibrant yellow wings, encasing me in a warm, feathered shield. I also noticed that Fluttershy's grip around my neck had tightened as she leaned fully onto my back, resting her head just near my shoulder. "I know it hurts, a-and I know we can never replace your friends, b-but..." she said with sleepy eyes as she finished with a whisper, "I would like to be there while they can't be, i-if that's okay I mean..."

I could help but feel a lump form in the back of my throat at her words, unable to comprehend how someone I treated so badly could just decide to help me just like that. Eventually, I was able to find my voice and choked out, "T-thank you, Fluttershy."

She looked at me with a look a slight surprise. "You were able to hear me?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah... I've got sensitive ears... plus... I don't mind paying extra attention to a voice that's... nice." I said with a small blush. Fluttershy was silent, just taking in the news that I enjoyed her voice. She didn't say anything, but her wings did ruffle a bit as she laid her head down onto my back, smiling with a few traces of a soft-pink blush.

It took us a while, but we finally managed to get back to town. Just as expected, the rest of the Mane 6 was waiting with worried expressions back at the now deserted library, with Spike among them. "An' jus' where have you two been?! We've bin worried sick about y'all!" Applejack said as she ran up to meet us.

"And just why are you carrying Fluttershy!?" Rainbow asked.

"And why is her leg wrapped with an ice pack?" Twilight asked with concern.

"Yeah! And when's it my turn for a piggy-back ride?" Pinkie asked with playful anger.

"Let's just say that I've just become acquainted with timberwolves," I said with a tired smile.

"What?!" the girls screamed in unison. As I carefully helped Fluttershy back to her feet, making sure she didn't exert any pressure onto her bad foot, the others continued to barrage us with questions, ranging from why we left the party to why we ended up in the Everfree Forest in the first place.

"Girls!" I shouted, causing the blowout of questioning to stop. "I'll answer all your questions in time, but first... there's something I got to do before I change my mind," I said begrudgingly. I then turned my attention to the little green-haired boy I saved in the forest. "Spike," I asked as he came up to me, "take a letter." From behind him, Spike summoned a piece of parchment and a red feathered quill, waiting curiously for me to begin. I let out a long sigh as I started to dictate to Spike.

"_Dear Celestia, I learned today that it is wrong to keep people and things away from you just because of what pre-conceived notions you have of them. While what you may know about a person may be true and may upset you, it is important to learn about them personally, otherwise you may very well end up missing out on something or someone very important or special, like companionship, a new ally, or maybe even something more. It's a big world out there with billions of people and things to see. Never let anything stop you from doing something or getting to know someone for the wrong reasons, because you may be surprised at what you find._" I looked up and saw each of the girls with an expression of slight surprise and repressed glee, almost as if waiting to explode. I bit my lower lip as I prepared to state my closing, knowing what would happen the minute I would say it.

"_I look forward to learning more about the magic of friendship (hurk!) with the elements of harmony,_" I struggled as I worked to get the last words out, "..._my new friends,_" I said with finality as the girls screamed with joy. "_Sincerely, Ask, you're acquaintance and apprentice to Twilight Sparkle._"

And with that, Spike rolled up the parchment and sealed it with a gold stamp with a red ribbon attached. He then took in a deep breathe and exhaled not air but bright green flames onto it, turning it to sparkling ash as it flew off into the sky, no doubt to the humanoid alicorn princess it was addressed to. "So Spike can still breathe fire here, well that's- hoyyyyy!"

My thought was interrupted as all six of the girls gripped me in a bone-breaking hug, with each wearing a bright smile, awing at my sentiments. I also noticed that Fluttershy was still wearing the blush she had back in the forest, with it even darkening a little. As I rolled my eyes, I looked up to the sky to see the full moon shine brightly down upon us, the stars at its side. While I had resigned myself to staying in Ponyville, I hadn't given up yet on trying to return home. I had a life back there, and I wasn't prepared to give it up. I just hope my friends aren't missing me, not like they really would given how far I kept them. Still, I had a duty to Elenoir, and I wasn't about to let it down when it needed me. But in the mean time, instead of practicing parkour and training with Rito and the Independents, I'll be shelving books and living here with the Mane 6. And who knows, maybe it won't be as bad as I thought.

"So dear, are you and Fluttershy an item now?" Rarity asked excitedly.

"Excuse me?" I asked with small eyes.

"Well, you two were gone for quite some time, and she did seem rather content on your back, and her face is the most delightful shade of red," she responded with a shrew grin.

"And Fluttershy usually doesn't open up to people that quickly," Twilight added.

"W-what?!" I stuttered.

"And y'all were pretty close, what with her wings around you an' all. And you two ain't seem to be griping no more, 'specially after you saved her from the timberwolves like a bonified knight protecting a princess," Applejack said with narrow eyes and a snarky grin as she crossed her legs in a coy fashion.

"That- That doesn't- *meep*!" I tried to counter.

"Or like a hero saving an angel!" Pinkie cheered with glee.

"So, did you guys KISS and make up?" Rainbow Dash asked surly. "Or did you guys seal the deal with something even more awesome?" she teased with a nudge to my shoulder.

"I can't believe this. I just got over hating this girl, and now I'm right back at doing... things with her!? I mean really, I- wait a sec. If I'm freaking out, then...? Uh oh," I thought. I turned to my side to see Fluttershy and how she was dealing with all this. It wasn't pretty. She was violently shaking as she began to tear and sweat, her wings fully extended beyond her control. As for her face... remember when my face broke color barriers when I was dealing with Kotegawa? Well, Fluttershy beat me by a mile. Along with that, her eyes grew bright white as her mouth quivered. This can't end well.

"Fluttershy, please just-!"

"NO!"

Too late.

Fluttershy instantly pushed me away with a force I never imagined possible. I was launched half-way across town, slammed through three hay bales, spun along a windmill that launched me back to library, sped through an open window to be ricocheted all around the room, hit stacks of books, scrolls, and ink wells, all to end up landing in Twilight's crate of pin-sharp quills. The girls were watching all of this go on with a look of both horror and of amazement of what was going on. As I finished, they looked to library door, wondering what happened to me. I eventually hobbled my way to the door and opened it, revealing myself to be splattered with ink, several pieces of parchment attached to my body, hay littered in my hair, and three quills sticking out of my behind. As I collapsed to the ground, the girls all rushed up to me concerned for my well being, though I did hear a few chuckles from Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. "Ask! Are you okay?! Say something!" They asked in unison.

I was right, it may not be as bad as I thought. It could just as easily be worse. As I lifted myself off the ground, I managed to get out four words before I collapsed and fell unconscious, "I. HATE. EQUESTRIA. GIRLS."

And that's how my topsy-turvy life in Equestia began.


	2. New Life Means New Everything

As the bright warm sun's rays hit my eyes, I instantly turned my head away, trying to shield myself from the evil light. As I turned to my side, my eyes slowly opened to a blurred vision of the world. The first thing I noticed was a mass of dark hair and beige skin slowly stirring. Acting on instant, I leaned forward to greet the figure beside me, my lips parted.

"Good morning Kotegawa," I slurred.

"Mmm, good morning Ask," she responded as she too moved towards me with mutually parted lips.

"This is nice. A good morning kiss from Kotegawa," I thought sleepily. "...WAIT, WHAT!? I NEVER KISS KOTEGAWA IN THE MORNING! I NEVER KISS KOTEGAWA PERIOD! And for that matter, HOW CAN I KISS KOTEGAWA WHEN SHE'S AT HOME IN ELENOIR AND I'M ASLEEP IN- NO!" My eyes shot open to see my face only centimeters away from a half-nude human version of Twilight Sparkle, her eyes closed with her lips extended forward.

Now, this is where my Independent training came in handy, because with it, I manage to stay calm, collected, graceful, and above all-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

-poised in the face of danger.

My scream had promptly woken Twilight, to which she stared at me, stared down at herself, and responded with a just as ear drum-shattering scream. "What are you doing in my bed!? Your bed!? You mean my bed!" We said in unison as our eyes became white and our faces became beet red. Before I could say anything else, Twilight's horn began to glow as she yanked the blanket covering us over herself and pushed me away with a squeal. Before I could hit the ground, I was instantly blinded by a bright white light.

As I opened my eyes, I found myself outside as I noticed that a bright red robin was flying on by. "Huh, I didn't know robins came down this low to the ground," I thought.

"What ground?" my subconscious stated.

"The ground right he- hmmmm?"

I put a hand down to feel what was underneath me, keeping my eyes level. Nothing came to meet my fingers, and now that I was aware of it, I didn't feel anything under my feet either. I looked down to see that I was suspended about a mile up in the air over a large mass of trees, with nothing holding me in the air except the sheer nonsense logic of Equestria.

"Ohhh, shouldn't have looked down. Oh well. Have a nice fall."

"Why is my subconscious such a je-RRRRRRRRRRR RRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!?" I said as the laws of Equestria decided it was time to let go.

As I plummeted to the ground, I tilted myself as best as I could so that I would end up right over a tree, hoping that in some way that this would work. When the treetop came within a few feet of me, I quickly outstretched my hands, ready to move. As I fell through the canopy, I held on for dear life to the first branch I saw and used the momentum of the fall to push myself forward to the next branch, running along it until I met another tree. I jumped from crevice to crevice, branch to branch as I made my way through the thicket of trees, feeling exhilarated as the wind whipped through my hair.

"Now this is more like it! Parkour through the city? Evading life-threatening falls? This is how to start a morning! Nothing can stop me up here, nothing- whuoh!" I spoke too soon as the tree I was running through shook violently, causing me to lose my footing along the branch. As I fell, I managed to grab the branch and used it to swing to the next available branch.

"Okay, I can still handle this." The trees around me continued to violently shake one by one, as though something was coming for me. "I can handle this!" I said as I continued to move, losing a bit of control in my haste. However, the trees that were getting hit were almost upon me, and I just gave up all control at this point and paid for it. My hand slipped from a branch and I began to fall to the ground. I quickly ducked my head under my arms and rolled onto the ground as I evaded serious injury.

I continued to roll faster and faster until I was going faster than tire on a formula one car... well, maybe not that fast. "Some...body...stop...me! I'm...gonna...be...sick!" I said brokenly as I continued to roll. "Please...anything...HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!"

As if on cue, I slammed my head onto a tree as I finally came to a stop, causing the tree to shake violently. As I pulled myself off the ground, I rubbed my head as a lump started to form. "Well, that hurt. At least it can't get any worse."

At that moment, three bright and robust apples fell onto my head, causing three smaller lumps to form onto my larger one.

And with that, I fell back and blacked out.

* * *

Let's recap. My name is Ask, or at least my title is. I come from a town in the US called Elenoir, where I lived with my pony-obsessed flatmate, Trisha Kane, and fought to help the community from crime with my best friend, Rito Yukki, and my teachers, DJ, Sonata Miyamoto, and Lea Fox. Together we form a vigilante group that operates outside of the government and law known as the Independents, working to help bring light through the darkness.

That is... we used to until one night I ended up in a mysterious control room after being saved by a strange girl from shadow monsters. It was there that I accidentally broke my watch and, after repairing it with parts of a device I found there, was transported to the land of Equestria, the home world to characters of the popular TV show I can't stand, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Yet strangely enough, in this world, the ponies are actually almost fully human in physiology, with the exception of the inclusion of horns and wings depending on what classification of pony they were on the show. It was here that I had to lie about my origins and was promptly made an apprentice to Twilight Sparkle in order to take over her job as librarian when she goes on to become a princess of her own province. As such, I now reside in Ponyville at Golden Oaks Library until I can find a way to return to Elenoir and the life I had left behind.

Sounds simple, right? Well, as any brony would know, things with the Mane 6 don't always turn out as you plan, and things became pretty interesting because of it...

* * *

I slowly opened my eyes as I felt a dull, throbbing pain surge through my head. Gradually remembering what had happened, I groaned at what brought me here in the first place.

"Stupid Twilight Sparkle. Why the heck did she end up in my bed? I swear I'm gonna give her a piece of my mind when I get back to the- hey! I'm moving!"

I looked down to realize that I was being carried by someone as the ground beneath me moved with out any input from my self.

"Eeyup."

I turned my head to notice a tumble of orange hair at my side. My carrier also appeared to be wearing a red plaid shirt and blue work jeans along with a pair of dark brown cowboy boots.

"Oh, hey Big Macintosh. So you found me huh?"

"Eeyup."

"So I'm at Sweet Apple Acres?"

"Eeyup."

"So, are you taking me back to the library?"

"Nope."

"...Am I in trouble?"

"Eeyup."

"Do I get a chance to explain to you?"

"Nope."

"To someone else?"

"Eeyup."

"Okay, just one more question. Do you say anything else other than Eeyup and Nope?"

"Not unless I need to," he finished as he turned his green, tired eyes towards me with a soft smile.

"Huh, I oddly respect that," I said returning the smile with one of my own.

After a few minutes, we reached a large, bright red barn that was surrounded by a carrot silo and several other fields of various crops. Yet most prominent of all were the hundreds of acres of land that made up the Apple Family apple orchard, stretching beyond my farthest sight with a number of different varieties of apples, ranging from red delicious to even orange pippin. Big Mac lifted me off his shoulder and turned me about to meet my judges, bailiffs, and prosecutors.

In front of me stood a rather unpleased Applejack and an elderly woman around about her late seventies to early eighties with bright white hair, wrinkly skin, and tired but welcoming amber eyes as she slumped in her bright green sundress and orange scarf polka-dotted with apples pictures.

"Heh, heh, g-good morning Applejack, Granny Smith." I said as politely as I could, but unable to alter their sour looks.

"Asky boy, do ya know wha' time it is?" Applejack asked coldly.

"Umm, no?" I said as I slumped to make myself look smaller.

"It's seven o'clock on the dot. And do ya know what that means, sonny?" Granny Smith asked while giving me the stink-eye.

"I get beaten up for trespassing and sent to pony jail?" I thought to myself.

"N-no..." I said instead.

All three Apples moved towards me very closely with an expression that read, "Get ready to get your butt kicked three-times over," adding more to my concern.

"It means..." Applejack said dead seriously, "...that me an' Granny Smith were right about ya again!" she said as she patted me on the back with a wide grin.

"What? Why am I not dead yet? Not that I'm complaining," I thought to myself.

"Dern tootin'! His ferst full day in Ponehville and he already comes down to offer a helping hand," Granny Smith said with a goofy, far-off look.

"Wait, what?" I asked with a cocked-brow.

"Well, ya came down teh the farm to find work like I offered, dincha'?" Applejack asked expectantly.

"Um, sorry Applejack, but I just happened to end up here due to a... complication with Twilight Sparkle. I wasn't coming in for any work."

All three of the Apples' smiles dropped to frowns at my words. "O-oh, we understand. I-I guess ya would want teh get used to yer fancy book work befur yew would come down teh find work with our simple an' primitive farm work," Granny Smith said with a face that would make even the most cold-hearted criminals cry.

"Eeyup," Big Mac said slowly with disappointment.

"Well, sorry teh bother ya sugarcube," Applejack said sadly as she led her family away.

"...Damn these ponies," I thought, "they drive me to feel guilty."

"W-wait!" I called, causing the group to turn back. "Miss Sparkle probably isn't to keen to see me right now," I began as the group scooted closer to me, "and I could use some exercise," I said as they scooted even closer, "and since I'm already here," I teased as they were practically nipping at my heels, "I wouldn't mind lending a hand." The minute I said that all three farmers beamed at me and brought me in close for a bear hug, my spine slowly breaking at this.

"I knew it! I knew yew couldn't resist some good ol' fashioned hard labor!" Applejack said as she pulled me away from the others, her arms still holding my body against hers.

"R-right. Umm, Applejack?" "Yes?" she asked still gripping me.

"Not to be rude, but..." I said as I pried myself from her, "would you mind not being so huggy?"

Applejack pondered what I said for a minute and responded with a quick, "Uh, y-yeah, sorry about that!"

"You okay? It looks like your face is turning re-"

"Eeyup! Just fine! Let's go!"

Before I could say anything else, Applejack grabbed my wrist and quickly dragged me off to the apple orchard to begin my work, leaving Granny Smith and Big Mac to themselves.

"Hmm, seems like Applejack is gettin' a bit hot under the collar," Granny Smith said with a coy smile. "You might need teh watch that young fella, eh Big Mac?"

"Eeyup," the large cow-colt said as he narrowed his eyes and cracked his knuckles, giving the nearest tree a good punch and causing it to lose all of its fruit in less than a second. "Ain't no smooth talker gonna court mah little sister without mah say-so..."

* * *

Applejack led me to a deep section of the orchard where several wooden bins were positioned underneath a few trees. She then let go of my wrist, throbbing as it was, and turned to me with her hands on her hips and smile wide and beaming.

"Now, I suppose it's yer first time apple bucking, so let me go over the basics." She then walked over to a nearby tree, facing me with her back to it. "Now, trees around these parts are mighteh sturdy, but they also can be rattled pretteh easily. All ya gotta do is position yerself properly, focus all yer strength into one area, and," she said as she lifted her right leg, "let all of that energy go all at once!" she said as her leg shot at the tree, causing it to shudder and drop its bounty upon impact.

"Huh, if she did that anywhere else but here, I'm pretty sure Applejack would be trading in her boots for a nice pair of gauze-frame casts," I thought as she returned her leg to the ground.

"Nothin' to it. Y'all can do almost anehthing teh release yer energy, from rammin' it teh even punching it, just so long as yew make a solid hit," she said with gusto. "Now, seein' as yer new and all, yeh maight wanteh start of slow to gauge yer- what the hay?!"

Applejack turned her head to locate the source of the loud crack she had just heard. It was an understatement to say she was surprised when she saw that the source of the noise was me giving the tree nearest tree a clean, simple punch that caused it to fill every bin beneath it to the brim with brightly colored apples.

"Like that?" I asked simply.

"Wha' in Celestia's great mane!? How'd ya do that!?" she asked with a slacked jaw.

"I just gave it a punch and boom, out comes fruit. Simple," I said matter-of-factly.

"I only ever seen Big Mac be able teh bring out that many apples with a punch! And yer just a beginner! Where'd y'all learn teh throw one like that?" she asked with an impressed look.

"Well..."

* * *

"So let me get this straight, you want us to punch this tree until the apple falls off?"

"Exactly."

"Sounds good to me!"

About four years ago, DJ had brought Rito and me out to the forest on the outskirts of town for a lesson in combat. The task seemed simple, get an apple down from a tree. Unfortunately, that was about as easy as it was gonna get.

"This is meant to teach you two control and focus over your strength. While you may not have enough raw strength to bring it down, you can still manage to do so if you concentrate hard enough. This will aid you in any future conflicts that may arise, and is also good mental training for analyzing situations," DJ said with a shaman-like air.

"So, if we focus hard enough, we'll be able to get the apple down?" Rito asked.

"Eeyup."

"And if we don't?"

"Blarghhhh!"

Rito and DJ turned to see me on the ground, cradling my now throbbing right hand after giving the tree the strongest punch I could muster.

"You're going to break your hands," he said with a chuckle.

"Take all the time you need, just make sure you get the point."

"And how do we know fruit will actually fall if we do focus enough?" I inquired as I kissed my reddening appendage.

DJ didn't respond, but instead went to the nearest tree, went into a combat stance, and gave it one good punch at its base, causing it to shake violently. As it shook, dozens of apples fell out and littered the ground.

"Just got to have focus," he said as he caught a falling apple in his hand and started to munch on it as he walked away satisfied.

It took several months, dozens of ice packs, and few good tantrums, but Rito and I eventually were able to kick down the apple and several more along with it with anything we threw at it. Whether it be punches, kicks, or even slams, we learned to concentrate our strength to not only remove obstacles but to remove the pain they caused as well. And of course, we grew to earn both an extreme appetite and burning hatred for the red, spherical fruit. A practical lesson all packed together by some painfully hilarious memories.

* * *

"...beginners luck I guess. Or maybe I'm just naturally gifted at this thing," I said in response while leaning smugly against a tree.

"Huh, gettin' a little big fer yer britches, eh pardner?" Applejack asked rhetorically.

"What can I say? When you've got it, you've got it," I snarkily responded.

"Now, color me nosy, but I think what y'all just said sounded like a challenge," she said as she came to meet me at eye-level.

"Maybe that's because it is a challenge. So," I said as my eyes narrowed, "what are 'y'all' gonna do about it?"

"I think I maight jus' have teh bring you down a couple o' notches. What do ya have teh say ta that, Asky boy?" she said with fire in her eyes, awaiting my response.

"I think," I said as I slammed my hand beside Applejack's head, bringing myself closer to her, "I'm going to have to show you what separates the foals from the stallions, and the cow-colts from the cow-mares," I spoke while looking into her unflinching eyes.

"Apple bucking, 2 hours; I take the north field and barn, yew take the south and the celler; person with the most apples in their cache by time wins."

"Sounds good, care to make it interesting?"

"Loser has teh let the winner ride on their shoulders fer an hour."

"While wearing your Stetson," I added evilly as I saw Applejack yelp at this. "Well?" I egged as she struggled with the choice.

"Fine," she finally conceded. "Deal?" she said as she spit into her hand and extended it forward.

I gave a toothy grin as I returned the favor with an even more slobbery one, "Deal." And with that, we both took off in separate directions to get started.

"Ha ha! That colt has no idea that he's gonna get his flank beat today by a mare," Applejack said with a look of glee.

"That mare has no idea that she's gonna get her toned butt beat today by an out-of-dimension city boy," I said with exhilaration.

"Mare? Stallions? Since when did you pick up on the lingo?"

"Shut up. It was for smack talk, nothing more."

"And the toned butt comment?"

"SHUT UP!" I roared aloud as I found my field and prepared to buck.

"You were totally checking her out..." my subconscious jeered.

Gotta remind myself to get a lobotomy after this.

* * *

Two hours later, Applejack was panting as she brought in her last basket of apples, her brow drenched in sweat. She had managed to move quite a few bushels, obviously more than she normally ever would on a regular morning, but surprisingly even more than she would were it a bet against Big Macintosh.

"Welp, time teh go and check up on the varmint. I can't wait teh see his face when I show him up," she said with a giggle of mischief. After searching around for a bit, she found me coming out of the apple cellar with a satisfied smirk. "We'll, don'cha look pleased as punch!" she hollered in my direction.

"Yeah, yeah. Just count them up and see how many we each got already," I snarled back at her.

We made our way down the cellar and began counting up my bushels. By what was added to the cellar from inventory records, I had been able to bring in ninety bushels of apples.

"Huh, y'know," Applejack noted mildly, "I was expecting a whole lot more apples from that lil' speech o' yers."

"Oh really? Well let's just see how many you managed to bring in Miss Thunderthighs," I commented. "

Lead the way, Meathooks," she commented back.

As we got to the barn, there was no debate about who had won. Applejack had managed to bring in 209 bushels of apples within the time limit, and she looked rather pleased with herself. "An' that, Asky boy, is why yer the library worker, an' I'm the farm hand," she said with overflowing narcissism.

"Wait, what about those?" I asked, pointing to a huge clutch of apples not taken into Applejack's count.

"Dunno. I didn' pick em. Big Mac mustah brought em in while I wasn' eround." she said with a shrug.

"Right, well that's that then." I began to walk out of the barn when I heard a rather loud cough. I turned to see Applejack looking at me with her foot tapping, horse reigns in her hand. I was about to ask what she needed and what the reigns were for, when I remembered our bet over the race. "Oh no, really...?"

* * *

"Really!" Applejack hollered as she rode on my shoulders through Sweet Apple Acres, reigns drawn slack at my mouth.

It was utterly humiliating for me. Applejack had insisted that if she was going to ride me, she wasn't going to do so without the proper equipment, and being a man of my word I eventually begrudgingly conceded to wear the harness. Unfortunately, that wasn't the end of my embarrassment. Applejack had proceeded to make me run the perimeter Sweet Apple Acres five times while she yipped and tossed me about like a cowboy trying to ride a bucking bronco. Along with this, she made me pass in front of Granny Smith and Big Macintosh as she stood on my shoulders like a trick-rider (eliciting many laughs from the two of them), run an obstacle course that looked like it was designed for rodeo horses, and made me prance to an entire obedience routine that was designed for equines.

"Well, I gotta hand it teh ya Asky, you may not have the strength fer farm work, but ya definitely have the stamina. I honestly didn' think yew would have lasted this long," Applejack said as she let me take a break.

"You... have... no... idea... what... I.. can... last... through...!" I said in between breaths.

"Really? Prove it!" she jeered at me.

She asked for it. Without much difficulty, I started to twist and move crazily as I attempted to buck my rider off. Although a bit surprised at first, Applejack tightened her hold on my neck with her legs as she used the reigns to hold on to me.

"Oh no ya don't!" she challenged as she held on stronger. I continued to pull and jump to get the farm girl off my back, but the more I tried the more it seemed like it wasn't going to happen.

"Being beaten by a girl? How low you have fallen."

"Shut up, she's got thighs of steel over here, and I'm not that shallow to be phased by my opponent's gender!" I roared inside my mind.

"Funny you should mention that. Because the more she grabs you with those legs of hers, the more she forcing the back of your head right against her-."

"Enough!" I roared to the sky. I quickly fell to the ground and began to roll, whipping Applejack to the ground and placing myself on top of her while pinning her down. "Told you," I said as I was panting.

Applejack was also out of breathe as she stared up at me with surprise, managing to get out, "Not bad... Asky..."

"Darn right not bad. So, what was that about my strength?" I said as she struggled to break my grasp.

"I'll admit, y'all got more than I gave ya credit fer," she said as she gave up trying to break free.

"Thank you," I said proudly, "and I'll admit, you've got some skills with those legs of yours."

"Uhh, t-thanks." she said as her face grew a bit red.

Now that I noticed, she'd been doing that quite a bit today. I also noticed that she seemed a lot more... shiny at this point. Horrible word to use, I know, but it does help convey my point. Her skin just seemed to glisten as the sun hit it, no doubt from all the sweat accrued from this morning's work. Her clothes also seemed to cling to her body like a vice, giving me a pretty good picture of her curves. As we stared at each other, I wasn't really sure what was going on, but I felt oddly calm around Applejack in this state, almost a bit excited. She had always been portrayed as such a strong and independent pony on the show, but now that she was here like this, a woman pinned down on the ground and vulnerable, I couldn't help but get a thrill from having control over her safety and well being, like I just wanted to keep her all to myself like this. Without warning, I saw that our faces were slowly inching towards each other, our mouths only centimeters away.

"What the hell am I doing? I gotta pull away!" I screamed in my head.

"Why? I say keep going."

"Get out of the gutter stupid subconscious."

"Oh come on, what's wrong with this?"

"A: I just met her yesterday. B: I don't want a relationship. And C: I don't want a relationship with an Equestrian that I used to know as a pony!"

"Well, it's your mind and body. Stop if you want to."

But try as I might, I couldn't break sight with Applejack, her emerald eyes wide and full of uncertainty. I could feel her warm breath as we were now touching noses.

"A-Ask?" she said with a stutter.

"A-Applejack?" I said as I was about to close the gap between us.

"Watcha' doin'?!"

We both froze and shifted our sight to see the source of the high-pitched voice that had interrupted us. The source, as it were, was a little six to seven-year-old girl with amber eyes and bright red hair drawn back with a reddish-pink bow. She was wearing a yellow button-up plaid shirt under a pair of blue denim overalls she picked at as she looked at us, waiting for an answer.

"A-Applebloom?!" Applejack exclaimed as she turned her face to her little sister. "What are ya doin' home so early?! Shouldn' ya be in school right now!?"

"Miss Cheerilee had class dismissed early taday. Snips and Snails had gotten gum stuck on their bums agin and ended up sticking teh all our art supplies," she said with an annoyed expression. "So I got to come home jus' in time teh eat!" she finished with a bright smile.

"W-well that's very nice. But what have I told ya about snoopin' on people durin' their private moments?" Applejack asked as she pushed me off her.

"But sis, what were y'all doin' that was so private?"

"Nothing!" Applejack and I said together. Applebloom raised an eyebrow at our response, but quickly brightened when she noticed who I was.

"Oh, yer that new fella from the party yesterday!" she exclaimed happily. "Mister... Question!" she exclaimed.

My face fell to the ground with a painful thump, not that it compared to the pain my ego suffered as Applejack tried her hardest not to laugh, ultimately failing when she fell into a fit of tears and hollers. "Close Applebloom, its Ask."

"Ask what?"

"No, just Ask," I countered as I pulled myself off the ground.

"Oh, well can I ask yew a question Mister Ask?" Applebloom requested with a smile.

"Sure Applebloom, why not?" I said with a shrug.

"Is it true that ya fought off a pack o' timberwolves to save Fluttershy?" she asked with glowing eyes.

I was a little taken back, but I none-the-less answered, "Yes Applebloom, I fought timberwolves."

"Oh wow! So, yer like a superhero then ain'tcha?!" I laughed at this comment, both for its nature and the enthusiasm of its asker.

"Sorry Applebloom, but I don't think so. I just saved Fluttershy because it was the right thing to do. It's not anything to make a big scene over."

"But yew went hand teh hand with TIMBERWOLVES! Ya hurt yer arm! Ya even hurt yerself to make em go away with yer noise thingy!" she insisted, pointing at my now bandaged arm.

"But I shouldn't have had to deal with that in the first place."

"But-"

"Applebloom, you just have to trust me here." I interrupted.

"Oh horsefeathers, fineeeeeeeehhhh!" she said as she rolled her eyes at us.

"Cheeky kid," I muttered.

"Now that ya mention it, what did fully happen in the woods?" Applejack whispered.

"After my little tiff with Fluttershy, she ran for the Everfree Forest to cry herself to sleep at home, only she went in the wrong direction and ended up getting stuck in what was left of that pile of rocks you and the others used to try to trick Spike into thinking that his life debt was paid. Spike was out getting some last minute party snacks (which he ended up eating) when he saw Fluttershy running off. He pursued to try and comfort her, but once he found her stuck and the timberwolves advanced on them, he passed out from exhaustion mixed with nausea from their breath. Ironically, Fluttershy ended up protecting him," I whispered back.

"Well that makes sens- Wait a mintute! How'd ya know about Spike's life debt?" Applejack asked suspiciously.

"I overheard Twilight talk about it at the party. Said she felt pretty bad for not even considering what was going on until it was too late, and for all the damage Spike's "help" caused," I retorted.

"Oh, heh heh, right," she responded sheepishly.

"Honestly, I don't mind coming up with reasons to justify my knowledge of their personal lives, but this would be a whole lot easier if I could just tell them about the show and bronies," I thought to myself.

"If you did that, Ponyville Urgent Care would have a new patient to add to its mental wing," my subconscious offered.

"What are y'all whisperin' about?" Applebloom asked.

"Now what did I just get done tellin' yew about snoopin'?" Applejack scolded.

"It's fine Applejack, no harm in having a healthy sense of curiosity, so long as she doesn't try to satisfy it the wrong way," I tried to help.

"So y'all gonna tell me what yew two were doin on the ground with yer faces scrunched up against each other with googly eyes and legs wrapping together?" Applebloom asked hopefully.

"Ha ha, no," I dead-panned. "And our legs weren't wrapping, were they?" I asked turning to Applejack, who turned bright red at my comment.

"Well why the Sam Hill would I know?!" she practically shouted. "Anyway Applebloom, it's time fer you ta stuff yer face. And yer yap..." she said as she rushed her sister away.

"Yeah, and I better head back to town," I said as I got up to head to get going.

"Ya mean yer not gonna stay fer brunch?"

"Aw crap," I thought.

"Whatever you do, don't look into- ah horse apples. You'd did."

I looked back to see Applebloom look at me with large eyes and a heart-wrenching frown. This was the kind of look that would appropriately fit into the old "You don't have a soul if..." meme if you tried to deny it.

"I don't think that's such a good idea Applebloom," Applejack said uneasily.

"But I just got here, and yew gotta spend all day with him!" Applebloom whined. "Please Mister Ask? I promise ta always get yer name raight from now on!" she said with pleading eyes. For anyone who has a basic concept of cute physics, you know that this argument was lost the second I laid my eyes on Applebloom's.

"I...w-well I, um..."

* * *

"Soup's on everypony!" Granny Smith shakily said as she took a seat at the Apple dining table.

Applebloom was happily bouncing in her seat with a fork and knife in hand while Big Macintosh licked his lips excitedly. Before me was the biggest spread of apple dishes I had ever seen in my life. There was everything imaginable, from raw apples to apple tarts, pies, dumplings, fritters, crumble, even apples dunked in carmel, all to be downed with sparkling apple juice. Yet despite the enthusiasm from everyone else, I was only able to awkwardly focus on the just as uncomfortable farm girl sitting next to me, her face covered by a light shade of blush.

"An' ta welcome our new neighbor and friend, were havin' a little something special with today's brunch!" Granny Smith announced. "Care ta guess what it is, Asky?"

"Hmm, a special food-related item to the Apple family. Only one thing comes to mind..."

"Sweet Apple Acres' special brand of lovingly and carefully homemade apple cider?" I guessed playing dumb.

"APPLE CIDER?!" screamed Big Mac and Applebloom.

"Well, looks like somepony's got a good head on 'im!" the old matriarch said as she brought up with difficulty a large wooden barrel. "That's right. The best cider in Equestria. If yew can find better, yer not from this world!" she announced happily as she and Big Mac set up the barrel.

"I'll just ignore this perfect setup for the ironically corny joke I can make here," I thought cynically.

"Well, no point in waitin', dig in!"

Applebloom immediately grabbed the first apple tart she could reach and began to chew greedily into it, while Big Mac had loaded up two wooden mugs full of golden cider and began to chug them down gluttonously. As Granny Smith was fixing her false teeth in place, I turned and saw Applejack grab an green apple and chew it slowly, looking at me with a look of confusion and unease. She then gained enough courage to ask, "How'd-?"

"Best cider in Equestria, literally. No explanation needed," I said interrupting her while trying to look away. I was a little hesitant to eat anything, as I usually didn't eat anything this heavy or rich, and I was still debating my love-hate relationship with apples.

"Aww, look at 'im. So shy, he can't even pick up a dumplin'. Applejack, Big Mac, Applebloom, I think we need ta help the fella by giving him the Apple family smorgasbord!" Granny Smith proclaimed.

"The Apple family wha- hurk!"

My sentence was interrupted as Applejack shoved a spoon full of food into my mouth, causing me to gag a bit. "Try the flaky apple pie sir!" she said, finally returning to her normal state.

"The apple fritters are a touch of heaven!" Big Mac said as he shoved a whole fritter into my mouth.

"The apple crumble is exquisite!" Applebloom said as she added a fork of crumble into my mouth.

"Some fresh apple sauce?"

"More apple juice?

"Apple brown bett-?"

"Eeverponeh!" I garbled through the lumps of food distending my mouth. I managed to swallow all that was shoved in and looked to my hosts. "I would like to finish my meal in peace," I said as I reached down into my shirt and pulled out a pen that, at the click of its button, extended three sharp prongs from its tip. As I was about to sink it into an apple dish, I realized what I just did and cringed as I eyed the device with walled eyes. "Since when have I had a pen that turns into a fork? And for that matter, why would I have it on me while going to sleep?!" I questioned as I tossed it over my shoulder and out a window.

"OWW! MY EYE!" screamed a voice just outside.

"SORRY!" we all called, not really sure who we were talking to.

"Well Sonny, you aren't eatin' much, care to say what's on yer mind?" Granny Smith asked.

"It's nothing, I'm just not used to eating anything this rich or dense, or to have anyone offer me so much variety before," I responded politely.

"Well, ya did earn it. And I gotta say, you could use some meat on those bones of yers," she said as she picked at my loose white shirt, "but we understand. Are ya sure though we can't tempt ya with a bit of cider?"

I was a bit hesitant, but as Sonata had always said: "Never look a gift hoarse in the mouth. Always accept something that someone has gone out of their way to get for you."

"Of course," I said as I offered up an empty mug. Big Mac filled it up to the brim with some foam trailing down the side as he passed it back to me. After eyeing it for a second, I quickly put my lips to the mug and drained down the gold liquid in one go.

At first, I just sat there, not reacting or speaking at all. Then, without warning, by body began to convulse as I made several weird and hysterical faces, ultimately ending as my face landed in my plate of food. The others eyed me with expressions of worry, intrigue, and glee as they waited for something to happen. They didn't have to wait long as I quickly shot back up with dilated eyes. "HOLY MARTIN LUTHER THAT'S SWEET!" I screamed as all rationality slowly ebbed back into me.

"D-does that mean you like it?" Applejack asked.

"What? Oh!" I realized. "Yeah. Yeah, best cider in Equestria, no question," I responded cooly as I settled back in my chair. "Not that I have anything from here to compare it to..."

Everyone then released a sigh of relief as they went back to their food. "Well, good ta see ya recognize good taste when ya see it! That's probably gonna be the bestest cider yer ever gonna have!" Applebloom squeaked happily.

"Eeyup!" Big Mac added.

"Yeah..." I said, helping myself to another fill.

"I'll admit it, it is good. But," I thought happily as a picture of a blonde, muscular woman smiling with an apron and a mug filled to the brim with a drink came into my mind, "it still doesn't compare to the Fox family's colonial cider brew. But, I will admit, I'm glad that one of the secret tricks to make Apple family cider isn't that it needs to be made in a toilet!" I grimaced as I imagined Lea happily ladling cider from a round, pearly white commode.

"Well it's good ta hear ya say that, because I packed ya up a few canteens o' the stuff fer the road!" Granny Smith said as she gestured to four large brown canteens leaning against a wall.

"Much obliged, Ma'am," I responded gratefully.

"So Mister Ask, can ya tell us about how ya fought off the timberwolves?" Applebloom asked as she grabbed an apple.

"Nothing really to tell. The threat came up, I kept my calm and duked it out with the wolves. Nothing to it," I said as I returned to my seat.

"So, yer saying so long as ah keep cool, ah can handle any problem?" Applebloom asked.

"Well, in a manner of speaking, yes," I responded as I took a sip from my mug. "I'm sure Applejack would have loved ta know that when you were on top of her in the field," Applebloom offered innocently.

You know, it's actually surprising how powerful things little sources offer can be. In that instance, I spat out and sputtered on my cider while Applejack's face went dark red and Big Mac broke his plate while driving a fork into a piece of apple strudel.

"What?" the male farm hand asked as he stared at me with daggers in his eyes.

"H-hey! Would yew look at the time! Sorry Asky, b-but if yew don't hurry along, yer gonna be late fer...uhh..." Applejack struggled as she pulled me from my chair and threw the canteens onto my shoulders.

"The thing!" I exclaimed as one of my fingers shot into the air. "W-with Rarity and Butterfly!"

"Flutters-!"

"Fluttershy! That's what I said, Fluttershy! Well, thanks again for the meal and the chance to work on the farm. Hope to do it again sometime!" I quickly blurted as I ran out the door. "Hopefully sometime a long way away..." I muttered as I quickly moved along. However, something caught my eye outside, and when it did, my eyes bulged as my inventor instinct instantly kicked in, causing me to run to it without a care over the scene that just transpired inside the house.

The tension within the room was thick as Applejack returned to the table, hoping that somepony would say something. Finally Applebloom broke the silence by asking, "Applejack, why was Mister Ask wearing horse reigns when I first saw y'all?"

"Oh," Applejack sighed with relief, "he just lost a bet o'er how he said he could harvest more apples than me, which reminds me, when'd you get the time ta bring that haul of apples into the barn Big Mac?" she asked timidly.

"I didn't," Big Mac responded calmly.

"Pardon?" Applejack asked shortly.

"He's been helpin' me with that new-fangled tractor all day, not that we could get the dern thing workin'..." Granny Smith explained with a grumble.

"Eeyup," Big Mac confirmed.

"But that don't make a cowlick o' sense! If y'all didn't bring that haul, then who did?"

Suddenly a loud mechanical roar echoed inside the house that appeared to come from outside. Moving quickly, all four Apples saw that the roar had come from the old tractor that had apparently sprung to life of its own free will.

"Didn'cha say that ya couldn't fix the tractor Big Mac?" Applebloom questioned.

"Eeyup," Big Mac responded as he stared at the tractor dumbstruck.

"Then how-"

Before Applejack could finish, her question was answered as I emerged from under the tractor hood, my hair splayed and oil stains all over my body.

"Molto Bene!" I exclaimed as I slammed the hood down and shut the tractor off. "Nothing like gears, engines, and elbow grease to help forget awkward situations and get the inventor mind going! Well, that and acting as someone's horse for an hour. Almost makes me glad I brought most of my load to the barn by mistake. Almost." I then looked at my watch and saw that it was twenty minutes to noon, and that's when it hit me. "Oh wait, I really am going to be late for a thing with Rarity and Fluttershy if I don't hurry! Well in that case," I said giddily as I hopped to the ground and threw my hands over my head and brought my leg back in a running stance, "Arriba!" And with that, I sped off to town, leaving a dust cloud in my wake.

At first, the Apples just stood there, trying to take in what just happened. Then Applebloom finally asked, "Everypony?"

"Yes Applebloom?" the others droned.

"...He spoke fancy."

That was all it took to set the others off. Big Mac and Applejack immediately shot outside, with Mac opening up the tractor hood and seeing what I did to get it to work while Applejack scurried into the barn and began counting up the extra bushels. Granny Smith, on the other hand, laughed so hard at both my and her grandchildren's actions that her teeth popped out and clattered onto the floor.

As Applebloom ran out to meet her siblings, she couldn't help but smile at how the new colt in town had caused her steadfast role models to so easily lose their cool. "How'd he do it Big Mac?" Applebloom asked excitedly.

"No idea..." Big Mac stated with a gaping look. Applejack then emerged from the barn with a blank look, her eyes small and mouth pressed closed. "Well?" Big Mac interrogated.

"...250," Applejack managed to get out.

"What?" Applebloom questioned with a bright smile.

"250 baskets, not includin' the ninety in the celler."

Big Mac's jaw had fallen to the ground as Applebloom cheered at this news. "340 baskets in two hours?! That's even better than Big Mac's record!"

As Big Mac snapped himself out of his trance, he rubbed the back of his head in thought, both angry at what his youngest sister said that the stranger and been doing with his other sibling but also immensely impressed at his work. "Not bad, not bad," he said as he looked towards Ponyville.

Applejack, however, didn't share his sentiments. She had been put into one of the most awkward brunches of her life, as well as felt new and unusual emotions that frightened her because of me. But the clincher of this wasn't that I ran off, nor that I actually won, it was that I lied to the element of honesty, and she wasn't about to stand for this.

"Applejack?" Granny Smith asked carefully as she approached her granddaughter.

Suddenly, Applejack sprang into the air as her hair burst into flames while her skin became paper white and eyes became blood red, steam blowing out her ears as her face became a scowl. As she fell back down to the ground, with several patches of soot now littering her body, she immediately ran after me as she screamed to the world, "I'M GONNA GET THAT NO GOOD VARMINT!"

* * *

As I ran towards town, everything around just appeared as a bright blue and green blur. As Poneyville was just in sight, I suddenly ran into a small woman that appeared in front of my path. We ended up rolling and falling over and over again until we were just outside the entrance to Ponyville. As I began to recover, I was met by an annoyed look as I noticed that the person I had baled over turned out to be Rainbow Dash, who was wearing a light-blue track suit today.

"What's the big idea Ask?!" she squeaked at me.

"What do you mean 'what's the big idea'? You're the one that got in my way!" I answered back forcefully.

"Well you should be more careful about you're speed," she stated with her nose in the air.

"This coming from Ponyville's official daredevil, speed demon, Wonderbolt trainee?" I interrogated.

"Okay, how'd you know about my dream to be a-"

"What Pegasus doesn't want to become a Wonderbolt, and who wouldn't know that basic fact about the girl who won the Best Young Fliers competition two years ago by proving that the legend of the Sonic Rainboom was true by performing one to save not only one of her best friends, but also the top three members of the Wonderbolts themselves?" I dead-panned.

"Oh, good point," Rainbow said while rubbing her head. As I tried to get up, I was quickly brought back down to the ground by the weight of the canteens that hung around my neck, causing me to land on my butt with an audible thump. As I rubbed my now sore posterior, Rainbow Dash laughed a bit as she brought got up and moved towards me. "Eh heh heh heh," she giggled as she offered me a hand, "let me help you." As she pulled me off the ground, she helped brush some of the dirt off of me with her wings. "Hey, what's this?" she asked as a bright, gooey substance ended up on her wing.

"Ah, just some leftover apple... something, from my brunch at Applejack's," I responded as she picked it right off her wing.

"Mmm, apple pie," she said as she picked her lips.

"So why were you at Sweet Apple Acres?"

"Long story that I don't have time for. I have a meeting with Rarity," I said as I prepared to run, "unless you want to come with us to the spa to hear it?"

"Really? Do I look like the type of pony that would be caught dead in a spa?" she said with narrowed eyes and an annoyed expression.

"No, in fact, you look like the type who would freak out at the thought of someone touching your hands or feet," I countered as she flew back in shock.

"H-how'd you know that?!" she cried.

"I found an old copy of the Foal Free Express," I responded with a groan, getting tired of answering these questions and thinking that would satisfy Rainbow Dash. Unfortunately, it had the exact opposite effect, as she suddenly grabbed me by the collar.

"YOU MEAN ONE STILL EXISTS!? OH NO! WHERE IS IT?! HOW DID YOU GET IT?! I NEED TO KNOW!" she ordered as she shook me with every word.

"It was just some leftover trash I found in the library dumpster," I said dizzily as I saw little Sergeant Keroros dance around my eyes.

"Phew!" she exclaimed as she let me fall to the ground. "That's a relief! Hey, you okay?" she asked as I pried myself off the ground.

"No, no, I'm fine, just fine. I just love prying myself off the ground over and over again from the pain you people cause me!" I screamed.

"Good to know," Rainbow Dash said with a cheeky grin as she hovered in midair, much to my chargin.

"Whatever, just get going and get out of here Rainbow Crash," I grumbled. As I got off the ground once again and made my way for town, I was immediately stopped by Rainbow Dash once again. "Ugh, what now?" I demanded.

"You mind lightening up?" Rainbow Dash shot at me.

"Sure, 'lighten up', I'll lighten up when you stop taking naps in the middle of the day Rainbow Crash," I said as I pushed past her. But once again, Rainbow soared up into my face as she gave me fiercely angry look.

"And would you stop calling me that!" Dash screamed.

"I'm sorry Rainbow Crash, does me calling you Rainbow Crash upset you Rainbow Crash, Rainbow Crash?" I said angrily.

"Quit it!" she cried as she pulled at her mane.

"Why?! Why should I?!"

"I hate that name! You don't know how much I hate that name!"

"It's a pun of your real name, a dumb one at that. Get over it!"

"No, you don't understand what that name means to me, how long it took to get rid of it! You don't understand what it's like to have people pull you down and make you think that you're no good, that you can't reach your dreams!"

"Wanna bet? You have no idea what i've been through in my life," I said with venom.

"Really?!" she said harshly. "Then tell me, paint me a picture!"

I took a deep breath as I forced Rainbow Dash to the ground. Squaring myself into the ground, I gave her a solemn look as she continued to stare daggers at me. "It feels awful, worse than awful. You feel as though you have all the potential in the world, that nothing can stop you, that everything will help to let you fly and let you soar above the stars. But then someone comes up and stops you, puts a giant blockade in front of you, stopping you from soaring just because they want to make themselves feel better. And to add insult to injury, they tear at you, trying to break you down so you'll never be able to fly again, leaving you to die."

At this point my rage was seething as I continued to craft my words, with Rainbow Dash now loosing her serious face for one of concern. "And the only thing you can do is put on a strong face, screaming at them when you're really screaming to be accepted, to be loved, to be helped." Rainbow Dash's face was now one of extreme concern as she saw I was physically shaking with anger. "But you won't ever let them win! B-because you know that you're better than them! Y-you j-just have to be!" I stuttered, my head fuming as I was slowly loosing control.

"Because it's not fair! It's not fair that they get to get away with it! That the universe gets to play a cruel joke on you and they get to go free! Because its your life! AND IT WILL OBEY YOU!"

With my little rant finished, I took another deep breath as I let off some steam and allowed my fingers to uncurl. Once leveled, I turned back to find that despite my speech, Rainbow was staring at me blankly. "Sorry..." I said quietly as I walked away, only to have Rainbow grab my hand.

"No. No, i-it's fine, just... I didn't know that you had that in you," she stated solemnly.

"Yeah, well you wouldn't..." I said turning away to calm down. We remained silent for a few minutes as we tried to read each other, wondering where to go from here. Eventually, I spoke. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Rainbow responded.

"So, we're good?" I asked extending a hand thoughtlessly towards her.

"Y-yeah," she said taking it with a small smile, "we're good." We stood there for a few more seconds as the air grew tense, unable to think of a way to proceed.

"Well, I guess I'll see you around..." she said as she flapped her wings to head off.

"Rainbow Dash," I called after her.

"Yeah?" she asked as she came back to the ground. "What is it?"

"I... well... here," I said as I offered one of my canteens to her.

She took it in her hand and eyed it suspiciously for a few seconds then finally asked, "What's in it?"

"Well... cider." I mumbled.

"What?"

"...Sweet Apple Acres cider," I droned.

"WHAT!? YOUR KIDDING ME!" she screamed as she threw off the cap to the canteen and took a swig, her eyes instantly bugging out in pleasure. "OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOH MYGOSHOHMYGOSH!" she cheered as her wings flapped excitedly at having her favorite drink in the world. "THANKYOUTHANKYOU THANKYOU!" She cheered as she wrapped her arms around me in a bone-crushing hug and spun me in the air.

"I-it's fine Rainbow Dash," I struggled getting out.

"Are you kidding!? This is more than just fine! You know how long I wait every year to get a mug of this stuff, only for Pinkie Pie to drink half of the stock and the rest to be drained before I get there!? This stuff is like liquid gold! This is one of the most Awesome things anyone has ever done for me! Thank you!" she cheered.

"Great, so, can you stop trying to break me in half?" I gasped as my face started to turn a dark shade of blue.

"I can do better than that! In fact," she said as she grasped both sides of my face, "I could just KISS YOU!"

"NO!" I quickly shot my hand up to my mouth as Rainbow's lips just barely missed connecting with mine. She pulled away with a look of shock and also a bit of disappointment.

"Why not?" she whined with an angry look. "I'm a pretty good kisser! Or at least I think so..."

"Rainbow."

"Is it my clammy hands? My teeth? My breath, it was my breath wasn't it!"

"Rainbow!"

"I knew I shouldn't have had a burrito for lunch, but it just looked so good! I mean, I didn't think I would be kissing anyone today, but still-"

"RAINBOW DASH!" I screamed, finally getting her attention. "It's not you, it's me," I stated.

"Huh?" Rainbow asked as she tilted her head to the side and wore a look of pure confusion.

"I just don't want a relationship right now, that's all."

"Oh!" she said understandingly.

"Plus... I've been kinda saving my first kiss for somepony special..." I added with a cough.

"O-oh," Rainbow said as a small blush grew on her face, "you mean you never- hey! Are you saying I'm not special?!" Rainbow squealed as her blush disappeared as quickly as it came, causing me to face-palm.

"Ughh, never mind. Anyway, looks like I'm gonna be late for my appointment with Rarity. Not unless I sprout wings and learn to fly in the next ten seconds. Anyways, I'll see you around Rainbow... Dash?" Rainbow didn't say anything, but her smile was slowly growing rather large as her wings started to spread open.

Oh horsefeathers...

"Rainbow Dash, I know what you're thinking. Don't," I demanded.

But instead of heeding my request, Rainbow Dash just flew about one hundred feet away from me in the air, struck the most macho pose she could, and heroically proclaimed, "Have no fear! Your friendly neighborhood Rainbow Dash is here!"

I did say that I didn't learn anything useful from watching the show, but I guess I have to correct that now. I didn't learn anything useful from the show that I thought I would use. But for anyone who has seen "Mysterious Mare-Do-Well," you know as well as I do that when Rainbow Dash says those ten words, nothing good will come of it.

"Please don't do this-!"

Again, too late.

Before I could finish, Rainbow Dash had shot at me with a burst of supersonic speed, grabbing me by my arms and carrying me a good fifty feet above the ground. "RAINBOWWW DASHHHHHHHH!" I screamed in vain as the daredevil Pegasus continued rocketing down her path through town, a smile brightly plastered on her face and rainbow streak following her as Sonata's words seemed to echo on the wind.

"It's easy to hurt someone, its always harder and mightier to forgive. Always do your best to spread a little joy to another in this world."

* * *

Meanwhile, Rarity was just placing a few of her fabric swatches back on a her work shelf, worried about her newest designs. The fashion industry was always changing, and it was up to people like Rarity to think of new designs that would dazzle and amaze the crowds by giving something that they wanted that they themselves didn't know that they needed in the first place. Yet try as she might, nothing would come to her that felt right.

It had been a while since her last major fashion commission by the queen of equine pop, Sapphire Shores, and even then, she wasn't fully satisfied with her work. She was growing tired of her work that was simply gems plastered onto simple fabric, and desired something new to challenge her, something that felt fresh, something that was a challenge, something that would bring back the spark she had when she first started out as a junior fashionista.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, and Rarity quickly brushed herself up as she prepared to greet her guest. "Just one second!" she called as she made it to the door, opening it to reveal a familiar timid pink-haired friend. "Fluttershy, it's wonderful to see you! Come in, I was just getting ready for our weekly spa visit," Rarity said as she led Fluttershy inside.

"Oh, that's alright Rarity, take as long as you need," Fluttershy said with a timid smile. As she took a seat on the boutique's presentation stage, Rarity quickly grabbed a rather large pink and purple hat that was accented with a few red roses and placed in on her head so that it draped over one of her eyes, adding a bit of mystery to her look.

"Well, what do you think?" Rarity implored.

"Oh my, it's lovely Rarity," Fluttershy said quietly but supportively.

"Oh, thanks Fluttershy. It good to see that I haven't lost my touch completely," the fashionista said with a sigh.

"What's the matter Rarity?" Fluttershy asked placing a hand on her friend's shoulder.

"Oh, I don't know Fluttershy. I just don't feel amazed by my designs anymore. I feel like there's something truly fabulous cooking within me, but for Celestia's sake I just can't see the whole picture yet."

"Maybe you need some new inspiration," Fluttershy suggested quietly, "maybe you'll get something from something you see outside, eat some meal with some special flavor, or maybe somepony might give you the help you need?"

"Maybe I just need to think about it a bit more," Rarity said as she caressed a piece that hung lifelessly off her sewing machine, "after all, it's not as if the answer to my block is just going to drop out of the sky," finishing as she pointed to the roof.

As Rarity turned to leave, she suddenly stopped as something caught her ear. "Fluttershy, do you hear that?" she asked as her eyebrows slowly raised in alarm.

"Yes, it sounds like... screaming?" Before Fluttershy could say anything else, a large mass suddenly crashed through the roof of the boutique, throwing mannequins in all corners of the room, forcing fabric looms off of shelves, and spreading dry wall and bits of wood all over the floor.

As Fluttershy cowered behind her best friend, Rarity could only look in utter shock and horror at what had befallen her precious workroom. After her initial reaction wore off, Rarity grew angry and moved forward to see what had caused such damage to her home and place of business. As the dust began to clear from the epicenter of the collision, Rarity was able to make out something slowly straining under a large piece of midnight blue cloth. She quickly parted the cloth to one side and found her perpetrator, me.

As upset as she was, Rarity was also entranced at the site of me. Not just me struggling under the cloth, but how the cloth itself looked on me, especially how it draped over my big, bushy, scraggly hair. "My... he does look rather cute in that doesn't he?" Rarity thought dreamily. "And it is awfully adorable how he stirs. And he is quite handsome t- No Rarity! Remember what happened the last time you became interested in a stallion without gauging his personality first. Patience is a virtue."

As Rarity continued to stare, I drew the cloth fully off my person as I slowly rose, sawdust caking my figure and wood chips adorned in my hair. "Ah, Monsieur Ask, a pleasure for you to join us," Rarity greeted, "and you're right on time." I looked up to a small cuckoo clock that hung on Rarity's wall and saw that I had indeed arrived at the boutique for my appointment right on time, the two mahogany hands both pointing towards the number twelve.

"Ah, hello Lady Rarity, a pleasure to be here," I said. "Oh, you'll have to excuse my attire. I'm afraid things, 'got a bit messy,' as they say."

"Yes, you are a bit... how should I put this delicately," Rarity pondered, eventually coming up with her words, "you smell like you took a bath in perspiration, dried yourself clean using filthy flea-ridden dogs, and then proceeded to splash bits of half-eaten food on your face for accent while wearing your week-old Sunday worst," Rarity said with absolutely no hesitation. "Which still doesn't match your shoes, Darling," she added.

"Well, that was insulting," I thought as I brushed off the debris, "although, what was I supposed to expect from prissy Rarity? And on that matter, I'm not even wearing shoes!"

"Well, the sweat and clothing are within my control, and for that I apologize. However, you'll have to thank my chauffeur for the new skylight in your boutique," I said as I pointed skyward.

"Chauffeur?" Rarity followed my finger and looked up to none other than Rainbow Dash floating in the sky, wearing an immensely proud smile as she looked down at us.

"See? You got wings and you made it to your thing on time, all in ten seconds flat! Just another heroic deed performed by the mighty and awesome Rainbow Dash!" she finished as she made another ridiculously macho pose.

"Yeah, you also dropped me fifty feet off the ground through a solid wood roof..." I grumbled. Although I kept my complaints silent, Rarity was not as subtle about her displeasure as I was, evident by the angry scowl she was giving her speedster friend.

"Rainbow Dash! That is the third time this year you have broken through my roof, and this time you ruined someone else's day with it! I swear if I get my hands on you, I'll bleach that wretched multicolored rat's nest you call a mane!" Rarity screamed as her fist shook in the air with pure fury. Rainbow didn't need to be told twice.

The instant she saw Rarity's face, she knew she was in trouble. "Uhh, hey! Look at the time! I'll be late for my noon nap!" Rainbow said as she pointed towards a far off cloud, trying to make her excuse sound legitimate. "Bye Rarity! And thanks again Ask for the cider!" And with that, the cyan-winged athlete took off as fast as she could, her rainbow streak still as bright as usual.

"Honestly, that girl needs a time-out," I said as I looked back to Rarity.

"Indeed, I think that a time-out is exactly what Rainbow needs. But in any case, thank you for arriving on time Ask," Rarity said with a small curtesy.

"Anytime, just wish I didn't damage your roof with my entrance," I commented as I looked upward. "I'll be happy to take care of the damages."

"Oh it's quite alright dear," Rarity dismissed. "The local contractor has grown accustomed to Rainbow's entrances and has offered me a rather generous price for whenever I need a repair job."

"Really? Well that's- uhhhhh, Rarity?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Qui Monsieur?"

"Why is there a cloth shaking behind you?" I asked as I pointed to a large yellow sheet that shook behind Rarity on the floor.

"Oh honestly," she moaned as she pulled off the cloth, revealing her now terrified friend. "Fluttershy, it's not a monster darling," she cooed.

"I-I–its not?" she asked still shaking.

"No of course not," Rarity responded, making Fluttershy smile a little, "it's just Monsieur Ask."

At that, Fluttershy's smile immediately disappeared as a beet red blush came over her at the sight of me.

"Uh, hi?" I offered politely with a small smile.

"...hi." she barely whispered as she looked away from me.

As we tried our best to avoid each other's sight, Rarity gave a light cough as she called our attention. "Shall we go dears?" she asked as she tried to diffuse the awkward situation.

"Let's," I promptly responded as I opened up the boutique's door, letting Rarity walk past me and Fluttershy awkwardly skimp by. "Let's see, strike one for the roof, strike two for making things awkward between me and Fluttershy," I pondered. "You're on thin ice Rainbow Dash..." I grumbled.

* * *

Meanwhile, Applebloom was mulling over what I had said during brunch and was wrestling over what I had said. "He said if ah was calm an' collected, ah can deal with anehthing. So..." she mused as she scratched her head furiously, until eventually a lightbulb appeared over her head, illuminated and full of inspiration.

"That's it!" Applebloom screamed as she ran to a deeper part of the apple orchard, where a small clubhouse squatted up in a low tree. She immediately dashed in as she looked around for her target, finding it draped over a hope chest. "Mister Ask was a hero because he was calm! So," Applebloom said as she pulled on her Cutie Mark Crusader cape and hopped out the window and landed on the ground, "ah'll be like Mister Ask and protect everyponeh!" she proclaimed as her cape swayed in the breeze. "Cutie Mark Crusaders Heroes! YAY!"

As she finished the CMC battle cry, she then realized that no one was around to hear her cry, not even the other crusaders. "*sigh* It's not the same without Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle..." she moaned as she fell to the ground and moped. However, almost immediately she hopped back up to her feet and gave a proud face. "No! Like Mister Ask said, "Calm and Collected!" Cutie Mark Crusader Hero Applebloom, AWAY!" she said as she ran for the hills.

As she made it back to the main barn, she quickly looked around for dangers to be fought, only... not much really happened that was chaotic on Sweet Apple Acres. After an hour of searching for any sign of trouble, Applebloom grew impatient with looking, finally deciding that she had enough of waiting. "No more Mister Nicepony!" she declared as she ran towards the barn to look some more. However, on this run, she saw that there was a hole in one of the side doors of the barn, causing the interior of the barn to be exposed.

"*gasp!* This looks like a job for Cutie Mark Crusader Hero, Applebloom!" Applebloom immediately sprang into action as she grabbed a nearby hammer and proceeded to pry the nails off the door. It took a huge amount of effort on her part, but eventually, Applebloom gave one final good tug that launched the door clean off, revealing the opening in its full glory. "Ah did it!" Applebloom cheered as she balanced the door on her head and began to run for Ponyville. "Now ah can get the door fixed an' earn mah cutie mark for protecting against drafts!"

As Applebloom waddled off to fix the door, she didn't notice as a large snake had slithered its way into the barn through the opening she had created. She also wasn't aware of the loud moans and brays of terror that echoed from the room when the snake went in. As Applebloom made it just outside the gate to Ponyville, she immediately stopped dead as she heard a familiar whinny beside her. As the young cow-filly turned to locate the source of the noise, two creatures suddenly shot past her and into town, knocking Applebloom onto her behind with a hard thump.

"Ow!" Applebloom shouted as she rubbed her sore bum. Yet despite the pain, she was more interested with what had shot past her. "It can't be possible, but was that-"

Before Applebloom could finish, the ground started to slowly shake as small pebbles and loose dirt started to move. Confused, Applebloom looked around for the source of the tremor, but wished desperately she didn't when she had located it in the distance.

"Oh horsefeathers..." Applebloom moaned as her eyes bugged out in horror at what approached, aware of the threat she had just placed upon herself and, more importantly, all of Ponyville.

* * *

After a rather awkward walk through town, Rarity, Fluttershy, and I had finally made it to Ponyville's Day Spa. "Here we are dears, the second-most lavish abode within Ponyville!" Rarity said as she led the two of us inside.

I looked around and was met with quite the show. Around me stood a number of relaxation stations where varying types of treatment were offered for the enjoyment of the public, from facials to hot tubs to even massages. "I don't know about this Rarity," I commented as I looked around uneasily. "I'm not really the type to relax."

"Oh nonsense Ask, you'll absolutely love everything the spa has to offer, including its owners! Speaking of," Rarity said as she crossed me and made for a bell on a counter in a side booth. "I believe it's time you met them!" Rarity gave the bell a few quick taps as she waited patiently to the side.

Almost immediately, two tall, tan females appeared before us standing side by side. "Ask," Rarity said as she ushered me forward, "I would like you to meet Lotus Blossom," she said as she gestured to one of the two who had bright pink eyes and hair and wore a set of blue scrubs and white stockings that were rather tight and stopped just bellow her behind, enticing her to bow, "and her twin sister and partner, Aloe," Rarity finished as the other mare stepped forward and bowed as well, mimicking her sister in curves, body, and stature, only having cerulean blue eyes and hair and an equally revealing set of scrubs in a hot shade of pink.

"Miss Rarity!" the two exclaimed as they approached the fashionista with clasped hands in joy, air kissing each other upon meeting.

"It's been far too long Miss Rarity," said Aloe as she held Rarity's hands endearingly. "I trust you and Miss Fluttershy are here for your usual?" Lotus asked as she pulled Rarity towards her.

"Of course, but this time, I have brought a bit of surprise with me," Rarity said teasingly, causing the ladies to pause in curious excitement. Rarity then moved towards me and she pulled me before the spa twins. "May I present to you Monsieur Ask! I trust you remember him from yesterday's soirée?" As I waited to be addressed, I found that the two mares just continued to stare at me as they began to turn around me, looking me up and down.

"Yes, we remember, but..." Lotus said as she grimaced at me. "We remember him to be not so... messy," Aloe finished. I was a bit taken back by their response, as was Rarity by her nervous visage and her nail-biting.

"Vin zdayetʹsya dosytʹ sympatychna," Aloe said quietly to Lotus, just barely reaching my ear.

"Wait, is she speaking...?" I thought as I started to process her words.

"Tak, ale mis Ridkistʹ opysav y̆oho yak dzhentlʹmen, i prosto podyvitʹsya na nʹoho!" Lotus replied.

"It is!" I exclaimed within my mind. "I can use this! Now how did that translation go?"

"Мої вибачення дами за мій стан, я знаю його не належне зустрітися таких штраф пані як себе в такому стані," I said, causing both spa sisters to look at me with a stunned expression. "я був зайнятий, допомагаючи мої друзі, коли час вислизнула від мене, і я втратив час, необхідні, щоб змінити і підготувати нашу поїздку через моє бажання, щоб не бути пізно. Я сподіваюся, що ви можете знайти його у ваші серця пробачити мене," I finished with a solemn bow, much to the approval of the two sisters given their giggles.

"Miss Rarity, where in Equestria did you find this colt?" Lotus asked as she surveyed me.

"And more importantly, where can we find more like him?" Aloe asked as she eyed me rather suggestively, much to my unease and surprisingly a bit of annoyance of Fluttershy.

"Why do you ask dears?" Rarity asked as she shot up in surprise at her friends positive responses.

"Because he is the most gentlemanly colt we have ever had the good fortune of meeting!" Lotus proclaimed.

"Really?!" Rarity asked with a happy grin.

"Indeed! And the most sensitive as well. Tell us good sir, how did you learn to speak such proper Eqranian?" Aloe asked as she held my hands softly in her own.

"... just something that I learned to pick up," I responded as I immediately thought of Sonata and her grueling language classes. "Also, crap I owe her ten bucks for actually using those Ukrainian lessons..."

"Well, allow us to show you what we have learned to pick up," the two spa sisters said. At those words, I was whisked away by the Aloe, leaving Fluttershy and Rarity with Lotus.

"Miss Rarity, Miss Fluttershy, you robes are waiting for you behind the screen as per the usual. You may undress and I will come to assist you in a moment," Lotus said as she directed a hand towards a floral print changing screen. "Oh and Miss Rarity," Lotus said with a giddy expression, "thank you ever so much for bringing Mister Ask today!"

As Lotus trotted off to join her sister, Rarity let out a rather unladylike squeal of joy as she pranced in place. "I knew it! I knew they would love him! Course, I couldn't understand a word he said to them, but still, THEY LOVE HIM!"

"Yes, they... love him..." Fluttershy said quietly as she and Rarity walked to change clothes.

"Why, whatever is the matter Fluttershy?" Rarity asked as she began to remove her sundress.

"It's nothing Rarity, really. I'm fine..." Fluttershy mumbled as she removed her green skirt.

"Oh, well in that case, I absolutely MUST tell you what I heard the other day about the..." Rarity blathered on as she and her timid friend continued to change, one of them significantly disheartened.

* * *

At the same time, I was being taken away to another room by Aloe. "Uh, Miss Aloe, where exactly are we going?" I asked nervously.

"Do not worry, Mister Ask," Aloe said confidently as she patted my head.

"We're just taking you to a private room so you can undress in peace. Not many stallions come into our little establishment, and we only found it appropriate that they get some privacy, away from the eyes of the mares."

"Well, that's rather nice of yo-OOAAAH!" Aloe had shoved me into a rather small room adorned with several bits of furniture common to a changing room. There was a large, full body mirror resting on a wall, along with a few stools and clothing bars to hang unused garments.

"Ah, I see you found the Stallions' changing room," Lotus said as she and Aloe entered and shut the door behind them.

"Yes, seems... cozy," I said as I surveyed the room, eliciting a giggle from the two ladies.

"Well, time to get you undressed and into your robe," Aloe said as she pulled from behind her back a snow white robe with purple frills bordering it on a sides.

"Ah... Are there any other colors?" I asked innocently, gaining another laugh from the spa sisters.

"We are terribly sorry, Mister Ask, but this is the only style we carry here," Lotus said with a sincere smile.

"Can't be helped then, I suppose," I said with a sigh.

"Well, just leave it there and I'll be out in a minute." As I moved to remove my shirt, I was surprised to find that another set of hands was around my midriff, slowly pulling my shirt off. I immediately jumped away to find Aloe standing behind me, looking rather surprised at my response. "Um, Miss Aloe?"

"Yes, Mister Ask?" she asked with a smile.

"What are you doing...?" I asked uneasily as I backed towards the wall.

"Getting you undressed, of course," she said without batting an eye, causing my head to immediately flare up.

"W-W-What!?" I cried as I pushed my entire body as far as it would up the purple wall.

"Is there a problem, Mister Ask?" Lotus asked as she and her sister cocked their heads to the side.

"Well... I... um... I'm not exactly used to girls (or anyone for that matter) being that close to me," I said politely as I stared at the ground, trying to avoid eye-contact. "Let alone helping me undress..."

"But this is what we do Mister Ask," Lotus said happily. "We offer full service to all male clients, from undressing you to even hand-washing you," Lotus added in just as cheerily.

"Seriously? WHAT KIND OF A SPA IS THIS!?" I shouted in my mind.

"The best kind!" my stupid subconscious answered.

"I-I-I really wouldn't want to trouble you two fine ladies," I said as sweat started to pour down the back of my neck.

"Nonsense, our duty is to offer complete satisfaction to our clients," Lotus said as she grabbed my hands and looked at me with eyes shining with determination, much to my discomfort.

"And we happily do it for the few gentlecolts we are fortunate to have!" Aloe added as she grabbed our cluster of hands as well.

"B-B-But-" But before I could say anything else, both sisters placed a finger to my lips, silencing me.

"Just relax Mister Ask," they said in unison as they each grabbed a side of my shirt, giving me extremely sultry looks, "and let us serve you."

I suppose my thoughts at this moment can be summed up in three easy words.

"Buck my life..."

* * *

"...and of course she was utterly uncouth about the matter, as you might expect," Rarity said as she and Fluttershy emerged from behind the spa's folding screen, now clothed only in their bath robes.

"Mmh, mmh, yeah, uh, that's whatever you said for you..." Fluttershy said as she walked beside her friend.

"Fluttershy dear, are you sure you're alright?" Rarity asked as she looked to her friend with a concerned look.

"Oh Rarity, I don't know, I," Fluttershy sighed as she looked away. "I feel... strange about something..."

"Well whatever it is Fluttershy, you know I am here to listen," Rarity said with a smile. Fluttershy took a deep breath as she looked to Rarity.

"Well, you see I-" Before Fluttershy could finish, a loud crash sounded from across the building. Fluttershy and Rarity immediately ran to the source to find it came from an out of the way room. "Stallion's changing room?" Fluttershy read as her eyes slowly shrunk.

"I'm... sure its nothing..." Rarity said as she placed a hand on Fluttershy's shoulder and gave an obviously faux smile.

Unfortunately, Rarity's plea proved false as several more crashes sounded from the room, along with the sound of a clown horn, a screeching cat, and for some reason a mad hyena's laugh. Within a few seconds, the door slammed open as the two spa sisters were ejected from the room and landed in a pile in front of the two girls.

"I told you over and over again," I said as I poked my head out of the room, my hair tussled and my shirt half off, "I CAN UNDRESS MYSELF!" After slamming the door, the two sisters slowly got up as they looked to each other disappointedly.

"I just don't understand it Aloe," Lotus said as she got up and pulled her sister to her feet.

"Neither can I Lotus. No stallion has complained about our full service before," Aloe responded as she joined her sister by the changing room door. "Why Caramel has always highly praised us for it..."

As the two sisters stood in attention, waiting for me to come out, Fluttershy's cheeks grew flushed as she gave the two women displeased looks. Three minutes later, I emerged from the room, a white robe now over my body. "Relaxing, huh?" I said as I walked up to Rarity, arms crossed as she gave me a sheepish grin.

"We apologize for our indiscretions Mister Ask," Lotus and Aloe said as they bowed low to the ground.

"It's quite alright, just... please avoid it in the future."

"Of course, we only aim to please," the girls said as they gave me perky smiles.

"So, what shall we start with?" I asked the girls, to which Lotus and Aloe gained bright grins as they grabbed my arms.

"Leave that to us!" they both said happily as they proceeded to drag me across the room.

"That's what I'm afraid of!" I cried.

Rarity and Fluttershy jogged quickly behind as I found myself being forced into a wooden room and slammed into a wooden seat. "Let your muscles relax as the heat of our sauna opens up your pours and drain the impurities from you," Lotus said with a smile while Aloe grabbed a nearby ladle and poured some water over a clutch of black rocks, causing them to hiss as they gave off a cloud of hot steam.

"Oh, that is divine," Rarity said as she fanned the steam to her face and took a seat next to me. "Now, I was in the middle of telling Fluttershy about this simply dreadful salespony that..."

As I watched Fluttershy take a seat on Rarity's opposite side, I started to ponder over what I should do. I needed to find a way out of Equestria, but before that, I would need to get accustomed to living here for a while. That being said, I was still unfamiliar with some of Equestria's inner workings and how they differed from the human world, with one thing in particular...

"Pardon me, Milady," I said as I said, stopping Rarity in her tracks, "but would you permit me a question?"

"Oh, well of course Ask," Rarity said, extremely flattered at being referred to as "Milady" once more.

"Forgive me if this is a bit forward, but... why exactly are Cutie Marks such a sensitive topic here?" I asked, causing Rarity and Fluttershy to stare at me with a shocked expression. "I-I only ask for curiosity sake. Well, that and because I got an earful from one of you because of it," I said with a quick look towards Fluttershy, who sunk deep into her hair in embarrassment.

"Well... I would assume it would have been obvious Ask," Rarity said as she turned in my direction.

"Uh huh... well let's assume that I know absolutely nothing about Cutie Marks," I said quickly as I looked away. "That being said, would you mind enlightening me before I cause any other mares discomfort?"

Rarity raised an eyebrow, but quickly dropped it as a look of realization dawned on her. "Oh that's right, your unfortunate spell of amnesia. It must have included that as well. Oh and you poor dear, too ashamed to ask anyone to inform you once again," Rarity said with a pat on my shoulder.

"Righttttt, amnesiaaaaa," I said with a nervous chuckle. "Well, I suppose the best way to explain it is this."

Without warning, Rarity grabbed the sides of my face as she looked deep into my eyes, causing mine to grow small in shock.

"Rarity, what are-!"

"Shush, shush, shush! Don't talk, just look deep, deep, into my eyes," Rarity said calmly as she rested her forehead on mine.

I felt extremely uncomfortable as I shut my eyes in response. She was absolutely too close for me. I could feel the heat coming from her brow, a few strands of loose hair touching my nose, and sweat seeping onto me from where our heads met.

"You'll have to open your eyes dear, or this is absolutely pointless," Rarity asserted, causing me to cringe as I felt her breath on me.

"Sooner you listen, the sooner it's over," my subconscious chided. With a slow swallow, I opened my eyes as I directed my eyes into Rarity's pupils.

"Rarity, is there really any point to... thisssssssss?!"

From the densest point in Rarity's pupils came a bright amethyst light that radiated out and filled my whole sight. From this came another bright flash, from which the depiction of three shining, baby-blue diamonds came into view, radiant in the light of Rarity's eyes. Before me was Rarity's Cutie Mark, a symbol I had seen a number of times because of Trisha, but not in anyway like this.

"Whatttttt?!" I exclaimed as I broke my connection with Rarity's forehead and stared at her dumbstruck, to which she giggled happily.

"Impressive, no?"

"H-How?!" I asked while breathing heavily.

"Cutie Marks are a representation of a person's special talent, a physical and spiritual sign of his or her destiny that appears when he or she are able to discover their special talent."

"Right, I'm aware of that," I said slowly.

"But the symbol is meant to be a secret to each person, invisible to everyone. However, they can be seen if you two individuals mutually trust and care for each other and stare deep into each other's souls, allowing each other to see the other's true essences."

"Eyes are the windows to the soul," I muttered as I felt her words sink into me. "And you said that I could only see your mark if we cared and trusted each other?"

"Exactly," Rarity said simply.

"But we've only know each other for one day," I insisted to which she just waved a hand as she leaned back on the sauna's wall.

"And in that time, you've helped save one of my best friends from Timberwolves, and that alone is more than enough to earn my trust," Rarity said endearingly.

"Wow, you really are the element of generosity. But there's something I still don't understand. Why exactly did Fluttershy grow so cross when I asked where your cutie marks were?" I asked, causing her to grow a little nervous.

"Well, as I said, a Cutie Mark is both spiritual and physical. The spiritual part comes for the view into one's eyes. The physical part comes from a physical depiction of the mark somewhere else..."

"Which would be...?" I asked, causing her to bite her lip nervously.

"On our flanks..."

"Sorry?"

"...On our flanks!" Rarity practically screamed as she blushed harshly and Fluttershy's wings sprung up in her robe with a squeak. As these words registered in my mind, I immediately began hating myself. I had seen where their Cutie Marks were Q knows how many times, and it didn't register with me that it didn't change here!?

"Um... I think we've all had enough steam, haven't we?" I asked quickly, to which the two of them nodded silently as they got up and made a dash for the sauna door. I took my time following out as I found myself locked in Lotus and Aloe's grips again as they dragged me towards a cushy chair and forced my feet into a pink tub filled with warm water. "Um, what is-" Before I could finish my sentence, a thick layer of green goo was slathered over my face while I two cucumbers were laid on my eyelids.

"Facials to refresh and rejuvenate the complexion," Rarity said as she took a seat nearby me, allowing herself to be smothered in the goo while Fluttershy preferred to receive a few slight dabs on her cheeks.

"I... feel ridiculous," I said plainly as I removed the cucumbers from my eyes. "And I'm pretty sure I look ridiculous."

"For now, but in a matter of minutes, you're going to look fabulous!" Rarity said happily. "That is until you put on those awful clothes of yours..."

"Really? What's wrong with my clothes?" I demanded.

"They just are so plain and tacky. A v-neck on you just doesn't work with you caramel skin, and black cargo shorts just don't work with how tall you are."

"Alright then, what do you suggest I wear?" I said with a grumpy expression.

"Oh! You wish for me to design you an ensemble?" Rarity said with a huge smile.

"Well..."

"Oh because I have SO MANY ideas that I've wanted to try on a stallion! What is your birthstone? What do you prefer to wear? Oh, all the possibilities I have here!" Rarity cried giddily as her horn was being filed by Lotus.

"Okay, let me stop you there," I said as I just escaped Aloe's hands that were about to give my shoulders a rub. "If you're going to design something for me, and I'm not saying that you should," I asserted with a serous look, "there's gotta be some ground rules."

"Ground rules?" Rarity said nervously.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to go crazy on the details. I remember what that resulted in with that botched fashion show all those years ago," I said coyly, to which Rarity cringed while Fluttershy blushed harshly. "I just don't want to end up in a suit made made out of a bunch of sapphires."

"Ha, believe me when I say that a design like that is the farthest thing from my mind," Rarity curtly said a she stewed in her thoughts, now feeling more annoyed that her rut was starting to be recognized.

"So, ground rules. First, no sparkles, no bows, no gems, nothing emasculating."

"I wouldn't say that gems are all that emasculating."

"You obviously haven't really seen those bow ties you made for Owlicious and Spike, have you?"

"You aren't partial to bow ties?"

"Of course not, bow ties are cool, when they are solid quality material, not a flimsy bow with gems plastered all over it," I affirmed, causing her to cringe again.

"Fair enough, next?"

"Second, nothing too 'fabulous',I am a man who likes to move and I need something that breathes."

"Something that breathes..." Rarity muttered quietly as she began constructing the design in her mind.

"Third, it needs to be strong."

"Strong?"

"As this demonstrates," I said as I lifted my bandaged arm up to Rarity, "I'm not exactly the most careful of people, and I'd rather not have to continually ask for repairs from rips and tears."

"Or for that matter cleaning bills from stains," Rarity added as she felt the design take more form. "What about color?"

"Well... I do have a penchant for black and white," I said with a shrug.

"I've noticed, and as... charming as it has looked on, might I suggest some color?" Rarity said as Aloe proceeded to crack Rarity's mask off with what appeared to be a chisel and hammer.

"I'm not big on wearing color as opposed to observing it on others," I said simply as I removed my feet from the bath and gave my full attention to Rarity.

"Oh come now Monsieur, live a little! You say you're an observer of color, so tell me, what is the first color that comes to mind?"

Closing my eyes, I searched my mind for the first thing that would surface. Unsurprisingly, the first to arise was a familiar wooden box. "TARDIS blue," I said outright as I continued to think about the old time machine and his driver.

"I'm sorry but, TARDIS blue? I'm not aware of that swatch," Rarity asked with a raised eyebrow as Lotus had just finished cracking her mask and began to brush the residue off her face with a brush.

"O-oh! Sorry, you wouldn't understand. Um, blue is fine," I said as I pulled my mind out of the time gutter.

"Excellent, anything else?" Rarity asked.

"No, I think that's more than enough from my end. Other than that, I leave it up to you and your skills," I said as I got up and stretched my back.

"Anything in particular you're wanting to try Mister Ask?" Aloe asked as she came up behind me.

"Well, I guess I could use a good soak," I said as I saw my hands covered in oil and apple goo.

"I know just the thing, but first," Aloe said as she raised a chisel and hammer in my direction, causing me to flinch in fear, "time to get that mask off of you!"

"Can't you just wipe it off?!" I said as I backed my way into a chair as Aloe approached me threateningly.

"Unfortunately not Mister Ask, the mask instantaneously hardens to stone quality. No one can remove it without the proper tools."

"I'm sure I can," I said as I tried prying the mask off by hand, only to find that it didn't budge an inch. Trying harder, I placed a foot under the mask's outline and pushed as hard as I could, but once again, nothing gave way. "What is this thing made out of, Urkel's super glue?!" I cried as I slammed my face into a nearby wall, only to leave a large indent in the wall as the mask remained immaculate.

"Oh, they always try that, don't they Aloe," Lotus said with a laugh as she carefully scraped Fluttershy's face clean.

"Yes, but none were more impressive that the indent left by Snowflake," Aloe responded cheerfully as grabbed me from behind, stuck the chisel right between my eyes, and raised her mallet high. "Now relax Mister Ask, that way I won't have to pay for your medical bills and in exchange I won't make you pay for the wall."

"Miss Aloe, please don't!" I cried as I saw the mallet fall deadly fast. However, before Aloe could finish her blow, a loud crash erupted from the front of the spa, causing her to miss her mark and hit me square in the nose (which surprisingly, felt like nothing).

"WHERE IS HE?!"

As that awful scream rung in my ears, I realized that that scream was actually pretty familiar.

"WHERE IS ASK!?" said an annoyed blonde as she stormed closer to us.

"Applejack? Whatever is the matter dear?" Rarity said as she looked to her friend.

"The matter is that the varmint owes me big for humiliating me! Now where is he?!" Applejack steamed.

"Calm down dear, he's right over there with... Aloe?" Rarity and Applejack looked towards Aloe saw that she was now lacking one particularly dirty stallion.

"Now where did that Varmint go?!" Applejack's eyes tore around everywhere as she looked for some sign of me.

Fortunately, I had managed to hide myself particularly well. Unfortunately, my hiding place was within a hot tub with limited air and not much clothing. I had experience with holding my breath over time, but I never was used to keeping so still about it without an air line. As Applejack continued her search, I was quickly running out of air, and the heat wasn't helping either.

"You sure he was in here Rare?" Applejack asked.

"Of course, we've just spent the last few minutes talking over-"

"WHERE IS HE?!" As I heard the second scream echo across the top of the tub, I released a bubble of air as I shifted my eyes towards the echo, and boy was I in trouble. Twilight Sparkle was now gliding towards her friends as she wore a frantic expression.

"Oh Twilight, are you looking for Ask, too?" Fluttershy said as she joined her friends.

"Yes! I accidentally teleported him this morning, and now I can't find him anywhere!" Twilight cried as she looked around.

"Well y'all be happy to know that he ended up at Sweet Apple Acres, where he made me feel more humiliated than ever before, in front of mah family no less!" Applejack cried.

"What?! What did he do?!" Twilight asked, growing more nervous by the second.

"All I did was lie about a bet! Applebloom was the one who made the whole thing in the field awkward!" I thought as I felt my air supply was running out.

"Well h-"

"WHERE IS HE!?" Turning wildly to the side, I saw a third mass with pink hair barge into the spa.

"Pinkie Pie?!" we all cried as I realized that I lost yet another breath of air. "What's wrong?! What did Ask do to you?!"

"What do you mean?" Pinkie asked with a confused expression. "I haven't seen Asky today."

"So then why did you come in screaming 'WHERE IS HE?!'" Twilight demanded.

"Because she saw that you were doing it and she thought it looked like fun," our favorite humanoid-dragon dead-panned as he walked in behind the party pony.

"Plus, I wanted to show him party cannon!" Pinkie added happily as she pulled her signature party tool from seemingly nowhere. "I think he'd really, really love to take it apart and find out what makes it tick!"

"I'm pretty sure Ask wouldn't want to take your cannon apart Pinkie," Fluttershy said quietly.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, trust your Auntie Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, he'll want to take it apart," Pinkie said as she patted her friends head condescendingly.

"I'm a year older than you," Fluttershy said with mild annoyance.

"She's not wrong Butterfly Butt," I thought as I imagined ripping the mechanics of the cannon apart.

"Ladies, please!" Lotus cried as she joined the group. "Would you all kindly please keep it down! People come here to relax and relieve stress. So would you all please control yourselves?" Moving as quickly as I could, sifted through the water towards the exit, hoping to make a quick getaway. Unfortunately, I made it just in time to see that the door slammed open to reveal Rainbow Dash with a wild look.

"GUYS, THERE'S A-"

"MISS DASH!" Aloe cried at the speedster. "Not another word! If anyone else screams another word in this spa, I will personally remove them from the premises!"

"But-"

"No buts!" Aloe insisted.

"...Alright," Rainbow Dash said simply as she made her way back to the exit. "Oh, and by the way, stampede," Rainbow added as she left the scene.

"Well that's one problem taken care of, now about As- wait a minute," Twilight said as she turned back to the exit. "What did Rainbow just say?"

"I think it was... stampede?" Fluttershy said quietly.

"Stampede?" Spike asked.

"Eeyup, definitely stampede," Pinkie said.

"Huh, stampede," Applejack said with a nod.

"... STAMPEDE?!" they all cried as I finally ran out of air and bolted out of the tub.

"Oh, and Applejack, you're not going to like who's in the middle of it all," Rainbow Dash screamed through a window.

The girls didn't wait another second. Fluttershy and Rarity immediately bolted towards the changing screen and switched into their normal clothes. After which, they along with the others ran outside to see what was going on, completely I ignoring me in the process. Being curious myself, I pulled myself out of the tub and covered myself with a robe. Darting to the men's (stallion's, whatever) room, I was surprised to find that my clothes were now gone, along with my canteens.

"Ugh, great, just like back at EHS," I groaned as looked in the wall mirror. "Well, no one's going to recognize me with this mask on anyway." Making a 180, I dashed past Aloe and Lotus as I made my way outside. Surprisingly, everything seemed pretty normal to me. The street was just as it was when I left it, and I certainly didn't see any stampede anywhere. So what was Rainbow Dash talking abo-

"LOOK OUT!"

I turned my head towards the source of the scream, and although I couldn't see it under the mask, I was sure that my face went completely white from what I saw. Before me was a herd of stampeding cattle, several of them steers with horns barred and yokes taught, tearing up everything that came in their path. They looked to be about thirty, maybe even fifty of them all together. But the thing that stuck out for me wasn't that I hadn't heard the pack before now, nor the damage that they were causing. What stood out for me was the thing hanging off of the horns of the leading steer, eyes closed in terror as she held on for dear life. Quickly leaping out of the way, the stampede quickly sped by as it left a trail of destroyed carts and hoof-prints as it disappeared around a corner.

"Applebloom?!" I cried as I got back to my feet to find the girls and Spike running by me.

"Hold on Sis! We're comin'!" Applejack cried as she pumped her legs as hard as she could to catch up to the pack, but to little success.

"Hang on Applebloom, I'm coming!" Rainbow Dash cried as she began flying past her friends.

As the girls disappeared around a corner, I decided to get a better look of the situation. Running to the nearest building, I quickly climbed up to the roof as I managed to find the stampede in another street. Rainbow Dash was quickly gaining on the front steer and practically had Applebloom within the reach of her arms. Giving her wings an few extra hard pumps, she managed to grab Applebloom around her midriff. However, as hard as Rainbow Dash tried, Applebloom wasn't separating from the steer at all.

"Come on Applebloom, I've gotcha! Just let go!" Rainbow cried as she tried pulling the filly away.

"Ah can't! Mah leg's caught under his yoke!" Growing frustrated, Rainbow Dash let go as she kicked the lead steer in his rear (huh, that rhymed).

"Let go already!" Rainbow cried. Unfortunately, instead of letting her go, the steer grew even more enraged as he flung his head back, knocking Rainbow Dash away as he increased his speed along with the rest of the pack. As Rainbow tumbled to the ground, the girls caught her as the stampede mad its way to the market. "Ugh! I almost had her! Give me another chance and I'll-"

"Forget it Rainbow Dash," Twilight said as she held her friends wings in place. "You barely were able to catch up to them the first time, and even if you did catch up, you might end up hurting Applebloom, or worse drop her into the stampede!" Frustrated beyond belief, Applejack broke away from her friends as she made a run for the herd, only to be pulled back by Rarity.

"Applejack, please hold on!"

"Ah can't!" the cow-mare cried as she ripped herself out of her friend's grasp. "Mah little sister is in danger, the stampede is runnin' amok in town, and I'm the only one who's got the skills ta stop it!"

"Applejack, wake up! I could barely keep up with them while flying! You thing you're going to put em up on foot?" Rainbow chided.

"Well then what the sam heck are we supposed ta do!?"

I had to admit, as much as it pained me to say it, I felt for Applejack. I knew I would hate to be in the same situation if it involved any of the Independents, Trisha, or Yui. Turning away from the girls, I made a dash for another roof as I tried to find the herd again. Within seconds, I found it charging through the market, and the view wasn't pretty. People were running in all directions, trying to save both themselves and their wares from being destroyed. Try as they might, carts were destroyed and splayed while things ranging from quills to full on sofas were lost along with hundreds of potential bits in profit.

"Huh, so this is what would've happened if Applejack didn't stop the stampede the first time," I muttered as I watched on.

"I'm sorry, but are you just going to watch as Ponyville is destroyed!?" my subconscious cried.

"Why not, I've got no reason to stop a stampede. For that matter, I don't even know how to stop a stampede."

"You'll figure it out! Now get down there!"

"Sorry, but I'd rather not end up like Mufasa."

"Seriously? Mufasa? Not only is that completely inappropriate for this moment, but that is completely selfish!"

"Life's an exchange. Unless I get something out of it, why should I bother?"

"You're pathetic, you know that? And are we going to do this every time you need to make a decision in Equestria?"

"Maybe. So tell me, why should I put my life on the line for them?"

"Do it for the good people of the town, for Equestria!"

"Did I mention that I hate MLP and anything associated with it?"

"Do it because you're an Independent!"

"I think alternate dimensions are out of my jurisdiction."

"UGH! WELL THEN DO IT FOR APPLEBLOOM! NOT THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADER, NOT THE BLANK FLANK, BUT THE LITTLE GIRL WHO'S IN DANGER THAT HAS A FAMILY WHO WILL MISS HER! HECK, IT WILL EVEN EARN YOU SOME BROWNIE POINTS WITH THE TOWN! SO WILL YOU JUST MOVE!?"

As I pondered over what my deepest thoughts had to offer, I turned my gaze back to Applebloom. As the little filly rode on the steer's back, I could see that she was in pain. Her leg was growing red from strain and her grip as slackening by the second. She was alone, scarred, and very well could lose her life here.

"...Independents work in the dark to serve the light."

"No one will recognize you with that mask and robe. So?"

I didn't need anything else than that. I made a jump over to a roof closer to the market and rolled into the street, making a dash for myself at the stampede. Twilight wasn't wrong, that herd definitely was fast. As it turned over a corner, I quickly scaled a building separating us, hoping to ambush the lead steer on the other side. Sure enough, the herd was on its way and I was in position on the roof and ready to intercept.

"Come on... come on... NOW!"

With a leap, I dove at the lead steer and managed to latch onto his tail. Grabbing hard, I called to my target. "Applebloom!" I cried. Turning, Applebloom was more shocked that relieved to find a large man wearing a frilly robe and a pasty green mask hanging by the end of cattle tails giving her a grave look. "Applebloom! Can you get your leg free?!" I cried.

"Who are you!?" Applebloom screamed as she backed as far away as she could.

"Not important! I'm here to help! Now, that leg?!"

"Ah'm caught tight! Ah can't get out!"

"Of course," I groaned as I began climbing the tail to reach her. Unfortunately, that wasn't the best idea in the world. On the contrary, it was absolutely stupid!

As I gave the tail a pull, the steer grew more enraged as he bucked his back legs straight into my chest. My grip was lost as I tumbled onto my back and into the stampede's path. I was more frightened than ever before. As I gripped my chest from the steer's attack, I was left defenseless as the cattle drive ran by. Quickly rolling on my side, I barely dodge a cow from crushing my leg. I had no room to rest though as another steer came tumbling by, barely missing my arm by a centimeter, but ripping my robe's arm as it drove on.

It went on like this for what felt like hours. Roll left, miss a hoof here. Roll right, miss being crushed there. Eventually though, my energy was waning, and I was a second too late. A rather large steer was tumbling in my direction, not turning at all as he tumbled forward. I was horrified as I found a hoof coming down at my head, defenseless and helpless to do anything. I could feel the life draining from me as time slowed to a crawl. I closed my eyes as prepared for the inevitable, fully prepared for what would come. The hoof came down violently and rammed into my head.

Yet... despite the force behind the attack, I felt nothing. No pain, no skull-crushing agony, nothing! The cow just tumbled on by as the stampede finally receded, allowing me a chance to get back on my feet.

"How the heck did I survive!?" I said as threw a hand to my head. It was at that moment I felt the facial mask on my head. It wasn't possible, but after a quick feel through, I was stunned to find it was immaculate, not a crack in it. "Gotta remember to get the recipe for this thing from Aloe and Lotus."

Dusting myself off, I realized that the situation was grim. Almost half the town was run through and things were only going to get worse. If I was going to get Applebloom free, I was going to have to find a way to stay on that lead steer long enough to free her leg from the yoke. Jumping on it wasn't going to do me any good, and I wasn't fast enough to keep up with it by foot. What I would need is some transport and some tools. Looking around, I managed to find a sickle near a hay bail.

"Well this is a start," I said as I stuffed the tool into my robe belt, "but I'm still going to need something to keep up with them and keep them in line. I need... I need... I NEED-"

"*Neigh!*"

"*Arf Arf*"

Turning my head around, I found a golden-furred horse with a blonde mane galloping through the streets as a brown-furred, white-muzzled dog ran beside it.

"That will do." Looking carefully, I noticed a pair of reigns drawn at the horse's muzzle and a saddle along it back. Positioning myself carefully, I took a leap at the horse as I hopped onto its back and held onto its reigns like a vice. "Okay, I've ridden Epona a million times in LOZ, how hard could it be to do it in real life?"

"*NEIGH*!"

The horse immediately began bucking harshly as threw me to and fro, forcing me into the ground as I hung on for dear life.

"Apparently quite a bit," I cried as I thrown once again onto my back with a harsh turn. "Agh! Can this get any worse!?"

"*ARF*!"

With loud snarl, the dog beside the horse bit down on my arm harshly, sinking its teeth deep down as it tore my robe arm off, exposing my top half completely.

"Apparently it can!" I cried as I was thrown again by the horse along with the dog.

"Ergh! At least it can get any worse from this!"

"*GRRR-ARF*!"

With a resounding growl, the dog once again snapped its teeth onto my rear. "GAH! THIS ISN'T EVEN FUNNY ANYMORE! AND I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!"

As the horse threw me once more, I landed onto my feet as I gave the horse a resounding smack on his flank. With a whiny, the horse took off and barreled down the streets. Holding on by the reigns, I hopped onto the saddle as I sunk my legs deep into its sides to keep myself stable. The horse continued to buck and jump as it tried its best to get rid of me. Try as it might, I wasn't letting go as I pulled the reigns, sending the horse down another street.

"Come on you stupid stallion , would you just listen to me!" Suddenly the horse stopped running as it turned towards me and gave a harsh cry as it trotted. "What?" I asked, causing her to whinny again as she directed her head towards her nether regions. Leaning over the side, I looked underneath the horses undercarriage. "...Oh, you're a mare," I said as I got up again, to which the mare nodded. "Ah, my apologies. But now that I have your attention, would you mind if I ride you to help save a little girl?" I asked politely to the mare.

"You realize you're trying to have a conversation with a horse?"

"I'm in a dimension of humanoid equines where I fought wolves made from twigs, not the weirdest thing I've done," I responded with a shrug.

"So, I know that I was a little hasty, but would you mind helping me to do a good thing?" Although seemingly a bit hesitant, the mare responded with a nod and snort. "Great. Now as for you," I said as I directed my gaze to the dog biting me, "would you please let go of my bum?" I asked politely, to which it just clamped down harder. "OKAY! Not a social dog, noted!" I cried as I held in a scream. "In any case," I said as I slapped the mare's flank as it reared up on its back legs and gave a harsh cry. "High ho Silver, AWAY!"

The mare took off as she galloped through the street towards the herd. Maneuvering the reigns carefully, I leaned forward as I encouraged mare to move faster. Soon enough, the herd was back in sight as it was in the middle of destroying a carrot dog stand.

"Come on girl, just a little more!" I cried as I pulled the sickle from my side. The mare increased speed as the herd was within reach. She made a dash for the side of the pack, but was immediately knocked back by a cow. "Can't break through," I muttered as I looked to the little filly in danger. "Just hang on Applebloom!" I cried, causing her to freak out as to her, I wasn't someone she knew trying to save her but a crazed man with a strange mask on a horse with a weapon raised.

"*Aroo*?"

The dog hanging on my rear end had slackened lightly in his bite, causing me to look to see it with a curious and concerned look. "What's your deal?" I asked as it leg go of my behind completely and dug its paws into the behind of the mare. It then began whimpering as it pointed in Applebloom's direction. "What about Applebloom?" I asked. The dog soon began flipping it head to and fro, drawing attention to its dog license that hung on its red collar. Pulling it closer, I read it off quickly as I was stunned to find who this dog was. "Well, glad I have your attention now," I said as I broke out in a wide grin. "I'm going to try and reach her, but I need your help. So, you in?" I asked.

"*Ruff*!" the dog cried as its tail wagged madly and panted eagerly.

"I'll take that as a yes. Well then," I said as I lifted the pup up, loosened the buckle of the saddle, and rolled to the mare's underside, "PUT 'EM UP WINONA!"

Winona jumped from my grip as she ran at the herd. Pulling myself up, I retightened the buckle as I dug my sides into the mare. With a cry, the mare sped forward as it made its way to the side of the pack. Once again a cow attempted to kick us away, but this time she cowered away as Winona let out a cacophony of barks and growls. "Good girl, Winona! Now the rest of them!" I cried as I sped forward once more. Winona ran quickly forward as she barked and yipped the herd to the left side of the street. I had my way and I was ready. With another whip of the reigns, the mare galloped forward as she outpaced the cows by a landslide.

As I neared Applebloom, I lifted the sickle into the air as I prepared to sink the tool into the yoke. "Applebloom, get ready to jump!" I cried. Applebloom once again screamed in terror at the sight of me.

"Get away!" she cried as she buried her head in the steer's hyde.

"Gah, buck it!" Urging the mare forward once more, I finally was parallel to the leading steer. I aimed carefully and with a flash and snap, I sunk the sickle into the yoke binding Applebloom and sawing my way through the yoke. "Just a little more," I said as I saw the sickle nearly break through the leather binding it. With one final tug, the yoke finally gave way as the sickle broke through. Quickly sticking the sickle into my belt, I pried the sides of the yoke apart as it fell to the ground and under the feet of the rest of the herd. "Come on Applebloom, give me your hand!" I cried as I extended a hand towards the little filly, to which she kicked away with her now free foot.

"Ah said get away from me ya nut!" Applebloom cried.

"What is wrong with you?! I don't look like a nut!" I cried.

"Seriously?" she said as she gave up her frightened disposition for one of cynical disbelief. "Y'all look at yerself in the mirror lately?"

"*AHH*!"

I looked forward to see a young woman with a baby carriage standing in the middle of the lane, her legs frozen in fear as she huddled over her child in defense. "Son of a bleep blop!" I cried as my pupils shrunk to the size of pinpoints. "Winona! Put 'em up!" Winona ran forward as she yipped at the heels of the drive, but to no avail. The pack wasn't moving fast enough and the mother was too centered in the street to be avoided.

My mind was going blank as I searched for anything I could do, something I could do to save her. Doing the only thing I could consider, I grabbed the steer's horns with both hands and the mare's reigns with my legs and tugged as hard back as I could. With heavy brays, the steer and mare made high jumps over the mother as she pulled her child out of the carriage and bent as low to the ground as possible. Almost as if like clockwork, the entire herd followed suit as they jumped right over the mother and missed trampling her by just an inch. Within seconds, the herd tumbled down another corner as the mother and child were safely left behind.

"That was close, that was too close," I sighed as I let go of the steer's horns and gipped my chest in fright.

"Oh no, this is terrible," Applebloom moaned as she gripped tight onto the steer. "All ah did was try and fix a door! Ah never was expectin' any of this!"

"Applebloom, you saw what almost happened there! Just grab my hand and I can end this!" I cried as I extended my had again.

"Why should ah trust you? Mah sister always told me never talk to strangers!"

"Applebloom, it's me! Look!" I screamed as I pointed to my bandaged arm. Applebloom begrudgingly looked at where I directed, and the instant she did so, she was stunned when she finally recognized my voice.

"MISTER ASK?!" Applebloom cried.

"Bingo little filly," I said as I gave a wild grin.

"Oh mah goodness, ah'm sorry Mister Ask," Applebloom screamed with a deeply disheartened look.

"Can't fault you for what you did, I look ridiculous," I said as I gestured to my face and what remained of my robe. "Just come on!" I cried.

"No, ah mean about all of this!"

"What are you talking about?!"

"This cattle is from Sweet Apple Acres, from the barn that I left open!"

"WHAT?!"

"Ah didn't mean it! Ah was just tryin' ta fix a door and be like you, somepony that can take care of problems by just remainin' calm. But ah outright blew it, and now all of Ponyville is in jeopardy, AGAIN! And it's all mah fault!" Applebloom was weeping at this point, scarred more of what would become of her if the matter was settled than what would happen to her if she fell.

"Applebloom, look, things will be fine. Just grab onto my hand." "But how am ah going ta explain this to everypony?!" she cried as she began to hyperventilate. This was getting nowhere, and more people were going to be put in danger if I let this continue.

"Applebloom, I promise, you won't have to worry about this mess."

"R-Really?" Applebloom said as she wiped her nose and tears.

"Yes, everything will be alright," I said as I gave her a confident smile.

"How do you know that? Why should I believe you?"

"Because I'm a crazy teen riding on a mare risking my life to save you while wearing nothing but a half a robe and a facial mask! If can do this, saving your blank flank from getting in trouble will be a walk in the park by comparison!" I answered while giving a hearty laugh, to which Applebloom offered a little laugh in response. "Everything will be alright. So do you trust me?" I said as I offered my hand a third time.

Applebloom reached forward and extended a hand towards me, but recoiled as she felt herself slip off the steer. "Ah can't let go, ah'll fall!" she cried as she held on strong. Looking around, I saw that the gate to Ponyville was just a few streets away. Thinking carefully, or rather recklessly, I called to Applebloom.

"Applebloom, can you ride a horse?"

"Yeah, why?" she asked. I didn't say anything but let go of the reigns and pulled my feet up onto the mare's saddle. "What are ya doin'?!" Hanging on for dear life, I slowly stood up on the saddle as I turned towards Applebloom.

"Okay, it's just like jumping from a car. Only it's from a horse and it's onto another living animal and I have little if any leverage to jump from and if I don't make it, I'll be trampled," I said nervously as I took a deep breath. As the mare overtook the steer, I made my move. I jumped from the mare's back landed heavily onto the back of the steer that Applebloom was riding.

"Tell no one that I was here," I whispered harshly in her ear.

Grabbing the tyke around her midriff, I took aim and, taking a page from Shining Armor's book, launched her at the mare. With a hysterical scream, Applebloom soared through the air, her hair and bow being pulled back and eyes tearing up from the air friction. It was absolutely crazy to do so, but Applebloom safely landed on the mare a it ran off down another street to safety, Winona running close behind. "Huh, I think her scream was more hysterical than Rukia's," I said with a laugh.

Refocusing, I grabbed onto the horns of the steer as I prepared for the next phase. "This better work!" I cried as a shop can in the distance. Grabbing the horns, I pulled the steer's head to the left, causing it and the rest of the herd to barrel down an open street. "Now left again!" I cried as another corner came into view. As we stormed down another street, I took another deep breath as I planned my final turn. Thinking carefully, I forced the steer's head to the right as the herd crashed into a pie stand. It wasn't pretty, but I now had the herd charging towards the gate out of town.

As we neared the gate closer and closer, I prepped myself for the final stage of my plan. "You did it once, you can do it again." The gate was a few yards away from the gate, and with a guttural cry, I pulled steer's head upward as it and the the herd jumped over the fence and barreled out of town. There was nothing but open air as I led the herd down the dirt road out of town.

As Applebloom watched from the mare, she was more than a little surprised to see me not only control the herd, but manage to get them out of town. Pulling hard on the reigns, the mare reared up on it's hind-legs as it came to a halt. "That's some herdin' for a city boy."

"APPLEBLOOM!"

Applebloom turned to see her older sister and her friends come running down the street. Before you could say, 'Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows', Applebloom was whisked off of the horse as Applejack and the others brought her into a tight hug. "Oh Applebloom, thank Celestia you're alright," she said as she let out a deep sigh of relief as she cradled her little sister.

"Are you hurt anywhere? Any broken bones? Cuts?" Twilight said rapidly

"Do you need to go to the hospital?!" Pinkie cried with a concerned look.

"How'd you even get out of from the yoke?!" Rainbow Dash questioned.

"Everypony!" Applebloom cried as she broke the hug apart. "Ah'm fine, but right now we've got bigger problems!"

"Applebloom, the only thing that matters right now is that you're safe and the herd can be dealt with accordingly," Rarity asserted as she looked the filly over.

"But there is! The herd is out of town, but now it's barreling towards Sweet Apple Acres!" Applejack's hair stood on end as the news sunk into her.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no! This is terrible!" Fluttershy cried as she sunk into hair.

"I've got to get down there!" Applejack cried as she began running down the street again.

"Applejack!" cried the little filly.

"Applebloom, ah don't have time ta listen right now! Ah got ta get down there now!"Applejack asserted stubbornly.

"Ah know, but you'd get there a lot faster with her." Applejack stopped dead as she turned to find her little sister holding the mare's reigns in hands, with the mare braying happily as if almost inviting her to her back.

"That ah can," Applejack said with a grin as she made a run back to the mare, seized the reigns, and flung herself onto the mare's back. "Hyah!" Applejack cried as she gave the mare a sharp jab in its sides with her spurred boots, causing the mare to run off down the street.

"Applebloom, how did you get free anyway?" Spike asked. Applebloom was about to answer, but something caught her at the last second.

"Tell no one that I was here."

"Applebloom?" Spike asked as the filly found herself in a little trance.

"*Arf*!"

Applebloom shook herself out of her trance to find that Winona was happily barking up to her, overjoyed to be reunited with one of her masters. With a laugh, Applebloom picked Winona up as the pooch began licking Applebloom like mad. "That's classified," Applebloom said with a mad grin as she cuddled her dog and watched her sister ride off with the wind at her side.

* * *

Back on Sweet Apple Acres, Big Mac was busy driving the now fixed tractor over a new field while hauling a large tillage hoe attached. When the farm managed to collect enough to purchase the new machine, he was a little wary to accept using the piece of new technology, especially given how disheveled and worn down the piece was when the Apples purchased it from their friend Hayseed Turnip Truck. Yet in the few instances that they managed to get it working after cleaning it up and replacing pieces, it had managed to work great and reduce the workload greatly. But, of course, that was on the machine's best days.

Most times, it just lay untouched to collect dust inside a spare barn. He had tried from over and over again to fix it up, but eventually every effort to fix up the gizmo proved helpless, even today's. But somehow, the city slicker had managed to do what he had tried over a dozen times to do in a matter of minutes. While he wasn't all that keen about what had possibly happened with him and his little sister, he none the less had to acknowledge that he had saved him a day of driving the plow by hand, especially now that it appeared that his work horse was gone. As he hit he brakes on the machine, he leaned back on the seat as he enjoyed the relative peace that the quick work had rewarded him. Everything was absolutely serene.

...That's he would have liked to have said, if it weren't for the fact that just as he thought that things were perfect, a drive of cattle suddenly charged through the farm gate as it began to circle around the barn, bringing a mini earthquake along with it. Yet as strange as it was to see this, what was more surprising was the crazed, green mask wearing, shirtless fiend that was riding the lead steer. Speaking of which...

"Almost there!" I cried as I continued to tilt the steer's head as I scanned the farm for where I needed to go. Sure enough, there it was, an open barn which looked more than big enough for the herd. Turning sharply, I sent the herd into a u-turn as I sent it charging towards the barn. Things were looking pretty good. I quickly got to my feet as I prepared to dismount the steer.

"What's all that racket?!"

No.

I turned my attention towards the opening to find that Granny Smith, OF ALL PEOPLE, was now right in front of the opening to the barn that I was sending a pack of crazed bovines into. "Buck me... BUCK ME STRAIGHT TO THE BUCKING MOON!" I cried.

Without a second to spare, I realigned myself and shot forward towards the old-woman and lifted her in my arms. Looking around, there was no room left for me to run out of the way. The herd was upon us and I couldn't dodge fast enough with Granny Smith in my arms. Realizing the gravity of the situation, I saw that there was only one way to go. Shutting my eyes tight, I ran forward and into the barn as herd crashed into the barn. It was miracle that it was still standing after what had happened.

Big Mac was horrified at what he saw. Running to the barn, he looked to find that all the cattle were now either incapacitated or peacefully mooing. But among the varying beasts, there was one only sign of his granny. Her signature scarf, torn and covered in a dark-red, sticky substance that made him sick to smell. Big Mac was at a loss for words at the best of times, but this... he hadn't felt this way in a long time. His mouth just lay open as his straw piece fell to the ground, it being the only thing he could get out.

Hearing a large bray outside, Big Mac watched turned to find Applejack watching him from the outside. Pushing cows away, she made her way over to her big brother as she stood terrified at what was in his hands. She couldn't say anything as she fell to her knees in agony. Big Mac had managed to get to his feet as he weakly brought the scarf to his sister. Taking it in her hands, Applejack just shook her head as tears welled up in them. Big Mac took her in his arms as the two of them wallowed in their self-loathing. They were too late, they couldn't stop the herd in time, and now Granny Smith was-

"Now how long are you two silly fillies gonna keep me waitin'?!"

-hanging from the rafters.

Sure enough, just above them was Granny Smith laying on the rafters, looking completely peachy as she watched her grandchildren mistake her for dead.

"Granny?!" Applejack cried as she wiped away her tears and stared incredulously at her grandmother.

"Well who were ya expectin', Princess Celestia?" she said with a laugh.

"B-But ah saw ya get hauled into the barn!" Big Mac cried as he felt that he had more than a few words to share now.

"Yes, and I ended up in the rafters."

"But what about your scarf?!" Applejack cried as she raised it up to the ceiling. "Isn't this... B-Bl-Bl-*hurk*!" Applejack gaged, too disgusted to finish the statement.

"From a little after brunch treat, cherry jam on wheat!" Granny Smith said as Big Mac scooped a finger of the stuff and tasted, grimacing awfully at what met his tongue.

"Eeyup," he groaned as he spat a bit.

"It was a bit messy."

"But what about that crazy varmint?" Big Mac questioned.

"What varmint?" Applejack asked.

"Ya mean the green-faced fella that was wearin' half his birthday suit and saved me from becoming a pancake?" Granny Smith asked.

"EEYUP," the two of them cried, getting more impatient by the minute.

"That's classified," she said as she stuck a finger to her lips and snickered like a school girl who knows the biggest secret among her friends.

With a groan and a sigh of extreme relief, Big Mac ran outside to get a ladder to get the old-timer down. Applejack on the other hand was drawn to the steer that was closest to the wall opposite the opening. He was easily identifiable as the mare that Applebloom was attached to, everything the same from his horns to his hooves, yet what puzzled her most was the fact that there was an exceedingly potent bump on its forehead, yet surprisingly, he was a good foot yard away from the far wall which was still perfectly intact without a scratch on it.

"Sweet Celestia that's a big bruise," she said as she rubbed it delicately. "Wonder what caused it?"

* * *

"Mister Ask, what happened?!" Aloe cried.

She and her sister were expecting for me to reappear after the whole stampede escapade had calmed down. However, what they weren't expecting was that I would be returning with a sickle tucked in my belt, my robe half-torn off exposing my chest, and their seemingly indestructible mask cracked and broken with several pieces missing, all while I ate a piece of toast with cherry jam.

"Told you I could get the mask off," I said as I ate the toast happily and removed what remained of my mask. "By the way, I do have a few questions. One: how am I able to talk when the mask hardens?"

"W-What?" Lotus asked as she stood daunted at why I was so calm.

"If the mask hardens to a rock consistency, how am I able to talk with it?" I asked again.

"T-The outer mask material itself hardens, the whole piece still moves fluidly," Lotus answered.

"Interesting. Second: what happened to my clothes and canteens?"

"Miss Rarity asked that they be washed while you were having your session. They actually just got finished drying and are waiting in the Stallion's changing room along with your canteens. We thought they would be safer in our office."

"Really? Well that's extremely nice of you, thank you," I said with a bright smile, causing them to both feel giggle a bit. "Third, and most importantly: how do I look?"

"Well you look..."Aloe trailed off as she really examined me. While my hands were still stained and filthy, my face was completely clean and spotless of blemishes. But that really wasn't what caught her eye. What really drew her in, and at this point her sister as well, was everything from the neck down. As Granny Smith had said, I didn't have to much meat on my bones, but what I did have was toned, built, and bulging, all hidden under baggy shirts and loose sweaters for who knows how many years.

"Well?"

"You look... delectable," Lotus purred as she placed a hand to my chest, shuddering a she felt my her hand fall of each of my abs.

"Very much so," Aloe added as she practically melted into my left arm.

"Eheh... right," I stuttered as I pulled away from their grasp and covered myself as best as I could. "Well, c-could I bother you two for another-"

"Robe?" they both mewed as they offered new robes that appeared from seemingly nowhere.

"P-Percisely," I said as I quickly snagged it and ran for the stallion's changing room. Quickly swapping my clothes out, I left the room just in time to find the whole Mane 6, Spike, and Applebloom all walking into the spa.

"...and she says that she can't tell me who the varmint was," Applejack said as she hit the bell, summoning both spa sisters.

"Hello everypony. Miss Rarity, Miss Fluttershy, a pleasure as always," Aloe greeted as Lotus brought them to the back.

"Well, Granny has her reasons for it, the same ones I do," Applebloom responded.

"Really? And that reason is?" Applejack asked with a suspicious look.

"He asked us not to," Applebloom said with a faux-innocent smile, causing Applejack to grow more annoyed.

"Well, now that that whole escapade is over, I desperately need a good soak," Rarity said as she ran her fingers through her hair.

"Oh my yes," Fluttershy said as she darted her eyes around the room, settling when they connected with mine. "Oh, Ask!"

"Hey Flutterh-OOF!" Fluttershy practically leaped into my arms as she hugged me tight around my midriff.

"Oh, I was so worried about you."

"R-Really?" I said as I pried the pegasus off of me and took a step back. "So, what did I miss?"

"'What did you miss?'" Applejack asked with disbelief. "A stampede charges through town and some random stallion wearing a freaky mask appears plum out of nowhere, and you didn't catch a single bit of it?!"

"Well, I was a bit preoccupied trying to avoid Miss Aloe from breaking my mask off with that chisel," I said with a laugh.

"Breaking off your mask?" Aloe asked, causing everyone to look at me with a suspicious look and then turn to Aloe.

"You were breaking his mask, right?" Twilight asked.

"Well I-" Before Aloe could finish, I removed the top half of my robe to reveal my bare chest once again, causing her to grow mute as she started to drool while I nodded my head. "Oh yes, whatever Mister Ask says..." she purred as she moved towards me, hands clawing for my chest.

"Indeed..." Lotus said as she joined her sister. Quickly closing the robe up, the others turned to me and most of their suspicions were quickly assuaged.

"Well... I say he's holding out on something," Rainbow said as she gave me a suspicious look.

"Would a suspicious person give you a canteen of Sweet Apple Acres cider?" I asked, causing her to lose her suspicion in a heartbeat.

"Maybe... but you have a good point," Rainbow said as she ruffled my hair, causing me to growl a bit.

Unfortunately, while that had gotten Dash off my scent, it also sent Pinkie Pie into a craze as she grabbed onto my collar and pulled me up to her eyes. "YOU HAVE CIDER?!" Pinkie screamed in my face. "HOW? WHEN? WHERE IS IT?!" she demanded with a violent shake on each word.

"In the stallion's room," I said groggily as Pinkie let go and made a dash to the room in question, immediately emerging with all three of my canteens strung over her shoulders and proceeding to drain one of them within a split-second.

"Ah, now that's what I'm talking about!" Pinkie cried as sucked the canteen clean. She was in the process of opening another when Applejack came up wretched the canteens away from her.

"That's enuf Pinkie," AJ said as she brought the canteens to me. "These were a present from Granny Smith ta Ask, and what he chooses to do with them is his business," she said as she strung the canteens on my back.

"Does that mean I can get the one she drained refilled?" I asked as I looked into empty container, to which Applejack just shot a nasty look in my direction, shutting me up on the spot.

"Well that's well and good, but I am absolutely exhausted, and I am in desperate need of a good seaweed wrap," Rarity said as walked over to a changing screen. "Coming Fluttershy?"

"I'm sorry Rarity, but I really should check up on those cattle. Who knows what if they got hurt in the stampede?" Fluttershy said walked over to the exit.

"Ah'll go with ya. I've got questions myself. Like why in tarnation did one of them have that bruise on them?" Applejack said as she walked up to Fluttershy. But before she left, she stopped dead as she looked back to me and gave me a deadly stare.

"Y-Y-Yes?" I asked nervously.

She walked up to me and got up in my face and said eight words, each striking fear into my core. "You. The farm. Quarter to midnight. Or else." And with that, she just sauntered off following Fluttershy out the door with a slam.

"Ohhh, you're in trouble," Rainbow said with a laugh and nudge to my side, causing me to groan.

"Strike three Rainbow Dash, you're out, NOW." I said as I pointed to the door, causing her to shrug as she left us behind.

"Wait up Dashie!" Pinkie cried as she ran off after her favorite speedster. Twilight was next to come up to me and confront me.

"Now about this morni-" Before she could finish, I pulled a canteen off of me and placed it in her hands.

"Take this and consider it my apology," I said as I pushed her to the door. "This morning never happened, agreed?" I asked as I pushed her out the door.

"But-"

"Great!" I said as I slammed the door shut in her face. With that I turned my attention to what had been really bugging me this entire time. "Now Applebloom," I said as I kneeled down to meet her at eye level, "you said that this whole thing was your fault because you wanted to do some good?"

"Well... yeah. I just thought that if ah could do some good deeds the way you taught me, I could be a hero like you are and-"

"And receive a Cutie Mark in heroism?" I asked, completely disappointed in the answer. "You realize that your little attempt to be a hero almost destroyed all the businesses in town, put yourself in danger, and made me risk my life to save both you and your Granny?" I said as I gave her a dark look, causing her to look despondently down at the ground.

"But you said that if ah remained calm, ah could handle anything," she said.

"I also said not to go looking for trouble in the first place. Applebloom, what I did for Fluttershy last night, I did because it was the right thing to do and I owed Fluttershy for making her cry."

"You what?!" Applebloom said, shocked to hear this bit.

"And what I did, I did in secret. Not trying to gain some glory. Heck, I just saved this town and two of your family's lives, and I made the two people who do know swear to secrecy. I don't do what I do because I have some responsibility or obligation or some want to be a hero. What I do is because I get something out of it, today being your security. Nothing else matters than that. I don't let people know about me, I don't make waves. I just ride the ones that are already there. Do you understand that?" I asked, to which she nodded silently.

"Ah understand. I'm sorry that ah caused ya such trouble."

With a sigh, I looked up as I directed my gaze towards the dragonoid who was watching Rarity jump into a mud bath, entranced in her beauty. "Spike," I called, causing him to break his trance as he looked my way, "take a letter." Without effort, Spike pulled a quill and a piece of parchment out from his back.

"Go for it," Spike said as he stood ready.

"Dear Celestia, today I learned that if you're going to give advice to anyone, you need to be extremely careful in how you convey what you're saying. When people are vulnerable and willing to take any advice that seems promising, you have an obligation to see that person through in full, otherwise who knows what might happen and how your words can be put to reality, even if it is done with the best of intentions," I said as I gave Applebloom a tussle of her hair and a reassuring smile. "You need to look out for each other, just like friends are meant to. Sincerely, Ask, you're acquaintance and apprentice to Twilight Sparkle." With that, Spike rolled up the parchment, but just before he finished I grabbed the parchment and quill and scribbled in a post-script. "P.S: Enjoy this with your sister. A gift from a humble Independent."

And with that, I pulled off my last canteen and wrapped the letter in it's strap. "Alright Spike, let 'er rip," I said causing him to stare at me like I was off my rocker.

"Um, I do letters, not packages."

"Have you ever tried to?" I asked.

"No."

"Well then, let's see if you can," I urged on. Shrugging, Spike took a deep breath as he expelled a flurry of green flames, igniting the canteen and letter. It took a few seconds, but sure enough, the package disappeared in a cloud of sparkling dust as it flew off into the distance. "Excellent. Now Applebloom, like I said, I won't say a word about this, but you've got to do two things for me."

"Anything," Applebloom said with a bright smile. "One, make sure that it remains a secret what I did today, and I mean it. I know how bad you are with these things, understood?"

"Understood."

"And two, please try and make sure your sister doesn't kill me tonight," I said with a pleading look.

"A-Ah'll try, but ah can't promise anythin'," Applebloom said with a sad look.

"Of course. Well, maybe I'll just come wearing one of those masks again. It save my life and your Granny's all in one day, like the perfect armor," I said with a laugh. However, at these words, Rarity's ears perked up as her eyes grew small.

"Armor... THAT'S IT!"

Rarity broke from her seaweed bonds as she dashed behind the curtain and slipped back into her sundress and ran towards the door. "Lady Rarity, what's it?!" I called. She didn't answer but just came up as she picked me straight off the floor and twirled me about in her arms while hugging me.

"THANK YOU!" she cried while wearing one of the most manic expressions I had ever seen before running clean out the door, hair in shambles and all.

"Rarity wait!" spike called as he ran after his love.

"Well, since everyone's running, I think you should join in and get going, huh?" I said to the little filly by my side, to which she gave me a bright smile as she gave me a tight hug and scurried out after the others. "Well, now that that's settled, maybe I can get some work done today."

However, just as I turned to go to the Stallion's room swap clothes, I was met by Aloe and Lotus grinning at me like to siamese cats hopped up on catnip. "I was just leaving ladies," I said quietly as I tried sneaking past the two of them, only to be stopped dead in my tracks as the two sisters drew closer to me.

"Oh, we think not Mister Ask," the two of the cooed as the wrapped themselves around my arms.

"You see, we've seen that underneath your gruff exterior beats the heart of a gentleman," Aloe whispered into my left ear.

"And the body of an Adonis," Lotus said into my right.

"And we just feel that such an amazing interior should have such an unfitting exterior," Aloe said as she pulled me towards the center of the spa.

"So we think it best if we just... take care of you," Lotus finished as she forced me into a chair and proceeded to straddle me.

"Tha- I- NO!"

"Indeed Lotus," Aloe said as she reared her head close to mine. "After all, this is always better with three," she said as she rubbed a grabbed the sides of my face.

"W-What are you going to do to me?" I whispered as the two were all that I could see.

"~Everything~"

"...Mommy..."

* * *

At eleven forty-four, Applejack was waiting just outside of the farm's gate while stomping her foot, more than ready to give me an earful.

"That varmint better be here. Ah don't have time ta waste like this..."

She didn't have to worry, however, as she had asked, just coming up the street with black khakis, white v-neck, and dark blue messenger bag strung across his shoulder, was me, covering my face as I made my way to the gate.

"Right on time," she said as I stood before her. "Mind tellin' me why you're covering yer face?"

"I'd rather not," I said as I continued to cover myself, to which Applejack just groaned as she ripped my arms apart. Now exposed, she got a good look at me, and was pleasantly shocked at what she found. My hair was no longer scraggly and bushy, but combed and cut to just at the base of my neck, spiked at varying points to add a few inches to my height. My eyes were no longer bloodshot or tired, but a pure white that brought out my red irises. My face was bare of any facial hair, my teeth were now bleached clean, and my entire body had been scrubbed of any dirt or stains, especially my hands which were now cleanly cut and manicured.

"Well, nice ta know you cleaned up ta see me," she said with a whistle.

"Shut it. It was the spa sisters," I said as I pouted. "They literally did everything to clean me up. Bleached my teeth, scrubbed my feet clean of any dry skin, mani-pedi, you name it, they did it. They even cut my hair," I said as I moped. "I loved my long hair."

"Well y'all were the one dumb enuf ta head ta the spa in the first place. You realize how many stallions they get in there? One a month if they're lucky. Y'all go walkin' inta the oven without a care in the world, and y'all are gonna get burned," Applejack said, to which I just rolled my eyes. "Anyway, follow me." Applejack walked towards the barn as I followed behind closely. Eventually I found myself in front of the same barn that I had sent the cattle drive into.

"We found the door completely torn off, along with a snake up in the rafters. Mustah spooked them and sent them off."

"What happened to the door?"

"Mustah been the stampede's work, took the door clean right off. Not sure where it went," Applejack said with a shrug.

"Gotta fix that tomorrow on," I thought.

"In any case, there's a few friends a mine that ah wantcha ta meet." Applejack pulled me to the side as we neared a stable. Heading inside, Applejack disappeared down a corner as she left me to look around. After a few seconds, she reappeared again with a pair of reigns in her hands as she led a familiar pair of guests towards me.

"Well would you look at that..." I muttered.

A golden mare with a blonde mane trotted along with Applejack as she held a sleeping Border Collie on its saddle. "This here is Winona," she said as she scratched behind her loyal work dog's ears. "And this," she said as she came close and nuzzled her head into the mare who neighed happily, "is Morning Glory."

"Morning Glory, huh? I would have chosen Epona," I said as I placed a hand to the mare's side and gave her an affectionate pet, to which she sunk into my hand with a content bray.

"Raised her since she was a filly. Never go a day without ridin' her. Always brightens up mah day," she said as she watched me nuzzle Morning Glory.

"Aren't you beautiful," I said as Morning snorted. "Strong, too. You don't find horses like this nowaday's."

"Wasn't always this way. She used ta have these flimsy, lanky legs that could barely hold herself up, but after a while, I decided ta help her learn ta walk properly. I would train her to walk set paces each day, increasing it more and more. Eventually she learned to walk straight, then she learned to trot, until eventually nothing in Ponyville was faster, stronger, and greater than her," Applejack said as she leaned back on the barn's wall. "Strange she likes you so much. She normally doesn't take ta strangers."

"I wonder why," I muttered as I got in close to Morning's ear and quickly whispered, "Thank you."

"Y'all know why ah called ya out here Ask?"

"Can't say that I do," I said as I took a seat by her.

"Because ah wanta show ya that ah have put a lot into this farm, inta mah family, and they put a lot inta me. One of those things was honesty." My hair stood a bit on end as I considered her word, a little concerned at what she was implying.

"Really?" I asked as I leaned in closer.

"Ah don't take kindly ta liars, whether they do it for good or not, and ah want ya know this here and now: y'all used up yer once chance ta lie with me today, and with it, y'all humiliated me. Ah don't give second chances easily, but y'all did fix up our tractor and Applebloom seems ta fancy ya, so in this case, ah'm makin' an exception."

"Okay," I said.

"So, Applebloom didn't squeal on you and the mystery of the mask remains a mystery, for now."

As I pulled myself up, only to be grabbed by Applejack.

"But if y'all ruin this one, yer gonna have ta pay fer it. Clear?" she said with a dark look.

"Crystal," I responded. "But why did you have me wait until midnight to tell me all of this?"

With a huff Applejack got to her feet as looked me dead in the eyes with a look of pure annoyance. Then, with a pout, she removed her hat from her head and placed it firmly upon mine, leaving her head bare and her blonde ponytail to fly freely in the breeze. "So that ah would only have ta lose mah hat for a few minutes without anyone finding out about it," Applejack said painfully as she watched me realign her hat on my head to fit snugly.

"Huh, I wear a stetson now," I said happily with a flick of the brow upwards and looked to see Applejack absolutely miserable about it. "Stetson's are cool."

"Next time, just be honest about winnin' the bet. I'm not like Rainbow, I can take losin'."

"Yeah, but you are crazier about this Stetson than she is about losing, aren't you?" I said with a smug grin, to which she just turned away. "You know, you actually look cuter without it on."

"WHAT?!" Applejack cried as her face burned at my words.

"Relax, I've been sworn not to go after you, ever," I added for her sake.

"By who?" she asked.

"Someone who thinks that your smile is brighter and warmer than any star in the universe, and that he couldn't imagine a mare more perfect in his life," I answered, causing her to stare wide-eyed at the confession.

"W-Well, y'all just tell him that thank ya, but that this mare ain't lookin' fer a stallion right now," she said, only to have a soft-pink blush betray her discretion. I couldn't resist at this point, it was too priceless. I reached into my bag and pulled out my phone. Swiping quickly, I turned on the camera as I took a picture of Applejack in this state. Hearing the snap of the shutter, she flipped her head around to face me.

"What the same heck is that?" Applejack asked as she came close.

"It's a complicated piece of machinery that stores, captures, and creates data on a level that will ever be matched in your lifetime, but you can just call it a thingamajig," I said as I snapped a picture of her again. "Just one more," I said as I pulled Applejack by her hip to my side, flipped to the iphone's inside camera, and whispered quickly into her ear, "Someone out there thinks you're a sexy, sexy mare," causing her to immediately turn tomato red as I snapped a picture of the two of us.

"Okay, I think you've had my had for too long!" AJ cried as she as she made a dash for her hat, only to have me dodge out of the way.

"Maybe, but I'm starting to grow quite attached to it," I said as I backed towards the stable door.

"Time's up, give it up Ask!" Applejack cried as she lunged at me as I side-stepped out of the way.

"Time may be up, but you can't get you're hat back if I don't let you have it," I said as I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Give me mah hat, Meathooks!" Applejack cried once more as she made a swipe at my head.

"Come and get it, Thunderthighs!" I hollered as I bolted out the door and towards the apple orchard.

"Oh, you just messed with the wrong mare, Asky boy!" Applejack lifted Winona quickly off of Morning as she grabbed a rope from the side wall and mounted the mare. "After 'im Mornin' Glory!" Applejack cried as she gave the mare a sharp prod into the mare's sides with her heels. With might neigh, Morning Glory took off and quickly caught up with me in a matter of seconds.

As Morning's cry and hoofbeats echoed across the farm, Big Mac, Granny Smith, and Applebloom all awoke with a start. Looking out their windows, they made it just in time to see me being lassoed around my waist, pulled down to the ground, and being hogtied by Applejack while the crazy mare had forgotten all about retrieving her hat and was more interested in trying me up like a christmas present.

"Nope," Big Mac said as he had an uneasy feeling about what was happening before him.

"You're welcome, Mister Ask," Applebloom said with a yawn as she watched us with sleepy eyes.

"Well, looks like we'll have ta keep a real close eye on you two," Granny Smith said as she watched nostalgically as Applejack sat on me triumphantly, a wide grin plastered on her face as my face was covered by her hat.

"Well, anything ta say Asky?" Applejack said with gusto.

Flipping her hat off my head, I gave her an extremely sour look as I snarled, "I hate Equestria Girls."


End file.
